If you are going through the menopause... are there any gifts that would help?

[Muststopeating]

I am so very very stuck on gift ideas for MIL this year and am running out of time. She is tremendously difficult to buy for (not because she's awkward just because she is so selfless). But I love her dearly and would like to get her something thoughtful.

She has been going through the menopause for at least a year, probably longer and I think coming towards the end of it. However, she is rubbish at self care and never ever spoils herself (not the woman you would ever buy a spa day for example).

Is there anything that I could gift her that could make her day to day life easier/happier?

The best I've come up with is a chillow or bamboo bed sheets?

I think it would be odd to get a menopause themed Christmas present tbh.

Just bog standard chocolate, wine or smellies would be fine.

What about some silk pillowcases? So helpful for meno but not meno-specific and something she will feel pampered with.

I agree with @JaniieJones. I am going through early menopause myself and would be very unimpressed if someone bought me a gift specifically for that. Just something generally nice and a treat eg favourite perfume, spa voucher, nice book etc, whatever she is in to.

Personally I would not want chocolates or wine because I have a very sensitive stomach as part of my symptoms, so a lot of things make me feel sick/ give me cramps, but if she is ok with this then they are lovely gifts.

I would say silk pillowcase as well, but I’d give it as a luxurious gift rather than a menopause gift.

She sounds lovely!
-What about a layer that can be put on and taken off easily - I have a wool poncho. Stick natural fibres which breathe.
Merino socks are warm when needed but cool when needed too.
-A really lovely 100 percent cotton nightie.
-A cooling mist spray - trilogy does a lovely one
Just showing you appreciate her is just lovely.
When you reach your 50’s and beyond things matter less and people matter more.

Sorry, I should’ve read the OP properly! Not a spa voucher then! Whilst chillows are a great idea I wouldn’t want them as a gift, plus not all women suffer badly with hot flushes/ night sweats. Do you know if she does?
Bamboo bedsheets might work, however I wouldn’t be very fussed about them. How about some nice jewellery or a pretty silk scarf? The menopause can wreck havoc on your confidence so anything that would make you feel nice would mean a lot

I know you mean well but honestly! put yourself in her place, would you honestly want to open a present that represented the end of your reproductive years? You have no idea what she is going through mentally or physically so don’t assume, she may be fine with this type of ‘gift’ or it could really upset her, why take the risk? Stick to smellies and chocolate like you would for anyone else.

Yeah, no, don’t.

Oh God, I'd hate the menopause to be defined by suitable gifts.

Just buy her whatever she likes regardless of her hormones!

No.
People like Davina McCall pathologising it is bad enough.
They'll be making Hallmark cards next.

I would hate a menopause related gift. The last thing I'd want is to have attention drawn to it.

Your MIL is the same person she was before the menopause, so just get her something nice.

I hope this isnt for a newspaper feature, asking for perfect presents for menopausal women!

@AmberLynn1536

I know you mean well but honestly! put yourself in her place, would you honestly want to open a present that represented the end of your reproductive years? You have no idea what she is going through mentally or physically so don’t assume, she may be fine with this type of ‘gift’ or it could really upset her, why take the risk? Stick to smellies and chocolate like you would for anyone else.

Completely agree, I am ok now but I was devastated and really shaken when I first found out I was menopausal aged 43. It is a shock for many and you can feel old and ‘past it’. Added to the fact that the hormones do a real number on your emotions anyway. Now I would be unimpressed/ slightly offended by a menopause type gift, but a few months ago it would’ve really upset me and probably had me in tears. I cannot imagine a time that I would ever be genuinely pleased to receive such a gift. If I wanted something like a chillow or cooling spray I would prefer to research and buy my own. This wouldn’t be a gift in my eyes. Much safer to just buy her a lovely gift, nothing to do with any symptoms she may be experiencing. I think unless you have been through it yourself it is hard to imagine how devastated some women feel: after all we all know it will happen someday, but a lot of women really struggle. You both sound really lovely and I hope you find the right gift

She has been going through the menopause for at least a year, probably longer and I think coming towards the end of it.

Sadly this only shows how little you know about menopause. Not being unkind but how can you know if she is coming near the end of it? Not even women themselves know that.

If she has symptoms, they can last for decades.
If she confides in you, suggest she sees a menopause specialist for help (and pay for that if she can't afford it! :) )

I know you mean well, but if you are in your 20s or early 30s, you probably are a little naive about what it means.

I'm peri and I would appreciate luxury bath salts or a pamper day (nails / massage).

I should have said in my OP that I 100% appreciate this is an odd request. Compeltely understand why many people wouldn't want a menopause related gift.

But I do know my MIL really well and she discusses it frequently with me (particularly the sweats which she has suffered from terribly). She would take the gift in the exact way it was intended... something to make her more comfortable.

She is a nursery teacher so has chocolates coming out her ears this time of year. Rarely drinks and really doesn't do smellies etc. Hence why I am so stuck.

I am in my mid thirties and was tested for early menopause last year and do remember the emotions at just the thought. But of course I don't understand what it is to experience it. I hope I haven't offended anyone but I am absolutely positive I wouldn't offend her.

Ansolutely fair challenge. I say this because I know the sweats etc have eased off but yes, naive. She is very much a grim and bear it lady and very rarely complains so it is hard to judge. She ocnfides in me as much as anyone though.

I have spent time researching vitamins etc with her a while ago. Hadn't thought of a specialist, will definitely look into that.

@LunaTheCat

She sounds lovely! -What about a layer that can be put on and taken off easily - I have a wool poncho. Stick natural fibres which breathe. Merino socks are warm when needed but cool when needed too. -A really lovely 100 percent cotton nightie. -A cooling mist spray - trilogy does a lovely one Just showing you appreciate her is just lovely. When you reach your 50’s and beyond things matter less and people matter more.

These are brilliant! Thank you! And indeed she is very much in the people matter more stage of life. Though I think she always has been.

From your updates it sounds like you have considered it more carefully than it first seemed and that MIL would genuinely appreciate some of these gifts. What sort of budget were you thinking and what are her worst symptoms? That might be a good starting point

@Muststopeating Why not suggest to your MIL she sees her GP or a menopause specialist.

There is absolutely no need to suffer as she is.
There is HRT, some types which are proved to be very safe for 5 years at least, but if she doesn't want that for whatever reason, there are other medications and some supplementary products that can help.

It's just my opinion and of course you can still give her gifts, but practical suggestions and even help finding an menopause expert to help her are going to be very helpful.

Well, my good friend sent me menopause tea from the wild women tea company and I was delighted! It was lovely to be thought of and for it to be acknowledged how shit it is. I’m early forties and not devastated to be peri.