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Menopause

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Is this it?

9 replies

Notmenottoday · 15/11/2021 08:00

I going to be 40 soon, have a family history of early menopause. Around 4 years ago my periods stopped, despite being in the contraceptive pill which I assumed would always provide a “period” due to how it works. I continued to take the pill as advised by GP who put it down to life issues, etc though I didn’t feel this was accurate at the time. I had been through much worse and always had my period throughout. Anyway, I went 10 months without a period, it then came back for a few months and stopped again for 5/6 months. Since then, it’s come back and continued as “normal”.

However, I now have other “symptoms” and not sure if this is peri menopause, depression or just dealing with life in general.

I have horrendous brain fog and memory lapses, I was always really on the ball and now I find myself doing stupid things like booking a restaurant for the wrong day or taking a wrong turn when following directions and getting lost. I find it really difficult to concentrate on anything, my mind constantly wanders. I have severe knee pain (though also have family history of arthritis so treating for this also).

I am permanently exhausted despite exercising regularly, walking at least 10,000 steps a day, leaving the home for work, etc (I did wonder for a while if WFH was playing a part in my this). I took a day to myself last week, tuning into a box set after the school run and taking it easy. I fell asleep 3 times within a 5 hour period despite sleeping pretty well the night before. I am now also fairly regularly waking at 2/3

I am a healthy bmi but feel my tummy is huge and despite exercise and previous weight loss to the lower end of my “healthy bmi range” it still won’t go away.

I feel like I am hyper sensitive when it comes to social situations. I’ve always been a bit “in tune” if that makes sense, I’m that friend who will message you and somehow know you’re feeling a bit shit. I’m always there for everyone, I’m the person people come to and the person people rely on to help out in a crisis. You’ll see this one coming… no one is there for me, no one responds to a message without hours or days of leaving it read (unless they need something), no one bites my hand off at the suggestion of meeting up. I even sent a card to a friend recently to wish her well in something she had achieved and she didn’t bother to even send a message to say thank you, I had driven 30 mins to drop it through her door. She would know this as there was no stamp/address on it. I know she received it as she mentioned it weeks later in company.

I’ve got to the point I’ve taken read receipts off my phone as it was really getting to me that people were reading messages and ignoring me. Yes, people are busy but not all people, all the time, especially when it is people who ordinarily have their phone to hand when you see them.

I know I’m reading too much into many things but these things go on a loop for me. I remember being told menopause made you feel like a hermit, I am at the point where I just want to hide away as it feel safer than being rejected. And also it can make you feel invisible which I definitely do.

I am starting to wonder if what I portray in the outside is the polar opposite to what I feel inside, though I don’t feel that way.

Would this be part of peri or is there depression in there? I don’t know… I have found myself wondering if I should see doc and ask for antidepressants in the hope this turns off some of the “noise” in my head. I’ve never taken them before so don’t even know if this would be the effect they would have.

If you have read this far, thank you. Sorry for the ramble! Just spinning in circles at the moment.

OP posts:
WhereAreWeNow · 15/11/2021 09:11

I think you should go back to the GP. It could all be perimenopause related (especially with a family history of early menopause and your erratic periods) but it could be other things which need to be ruled out. The exhaustion and the bloating merit further investigation as well as the menstrual irregularities.

Fiftyplanner · 15/11/2021 16:45

Hi, your post sounds very like mine. Sorry if I’ve no answers but want to say you’re not alone. I am 46, only one ovary as had one removed in 2015, and still get periods however erratically.

I went to my GP today as at the point where I can’t see the wood for the trees, so to speak. I wake every night with a churning stomach; memory is shocking; I can’t concentrate at work and feel everything is overwhelming. I have always had sore joints since having my daughter (17) so that isn’t new symptom.

I was basically a blubbering mess in the GP’s and he spent a long time with me, however focused on the symptoms and has prescribed me anti depressants. I don’t know if I will take them, I am scared. My mum has had long term depression and my brother is schizophrenic and heavily medicated.

I don’t feel depressed, just overwhelmed. I lost my job during Covid and have another job however it’s a contract and due to end soon. It will likely be extended but I hate the uncertainty and everything is making me doubt myself, it is so tiring. I am well qualified and have a lot of experience but my confidence is so low.

Like you, I am also the ‘fixer, reacher out’er’ on my friendships and never ask for help, but would be nice for people to reach out. Again, perhaps I portray an air of not needing as outwardly very chatty, good for a laugh etc.

Sorry, not an upbeat response to your post, or any answers, but sometimes it helps to know you’re not alone.

Notmenottoday · 15/11/2021 17:24

Thank you @WhereAreWeNow and particularly @Fiftyplanner for your replies.

Pleased to hear you made it to the GP today and thank you so much for the solidarity, this is how I feel also, overwhelmed rather than depressed. It sounds like you’ve had an awful lot to deal with an uncertainty over work will be magnifying things so much too.

Where - you are right, I probably need to go to the doctors again, I just feel I get fobbed off, that’s if I can get through the door to qualify for an appointment. I’ve had blood tests previously for the exhaustion, the only thing that comes up is low vitamin d which I supplement now. The bloating they don’t entertain because of my BMI so I’m at that point where I feel like I know what they are going to say. It’s quite frustrating.

OP posts:
MondeoFan · 15/11/2021 17:27

I'm in the same position as you. 49 and irregular periods, they have always been regular before. Would rather isolate myself than have people let me down.
I don't text anyone anymore and guess what.? They don't text me either. A lot of friendships are fast fizzling out.
I do everything with my 2 DD's and my dog.
I don't even speak on the phone to anyone as nobody calls me.

Notmenottoday · 15/11/2021 17:44

Completely get this @MondeoFan this is where I am at, I do most things with just DD or chill on my own as not to be let down

OP posts:
WhereAreWeNow · 15/11/2021 18:41

Just to add, I feel increasingly like a hermit too. Not because friends don't reply but just general social anxiety/exhaustion/low mood/laziness. I've turned everyone down so many times that no one asks anymore. I guess that could be what's going on with some of your friends OP. They could also be going through tough times, feeling low and pushing friends away without meaning to.

bungabungaboo · 15/11/2021 19:12

I am 49 and feel the same

I have the occasional day when I fee great and this makes me realise how rubbish I feel a lot of the time Sad

You are not alone and it is rubbish

skyblueone · 15/11/2021 19:20

@Notmenottoday I could have written your post! Apart from the period bit, I'm on the depo injection and am bleeding fairly constantly. I went to the gp last week with a list of things I'm experiencing, I'm 41 and think it's peri menopause. I went 2ish years ago because I started having night sweats, gp dismissed me straight away telling me I was too young for peri. Last week she did bloods, I'm waiting for the results.

Fiftyplanner · 15/11/2021 19:33

My friend went to her GP, prepared for a fight as she still gets periods, and was prescribed HRT which she has said is like night and day for her.

For me, it’s hard to separate the things going on in my life with the physical changes and now I’m annoyed with myself for not being more quizzical on whether it could be peri symptoms, although given I was blubbering then not capable of rational thought. If only we could get a good sleep then everything feels much more manageable!

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