Is this the start of 10+ years of misery?

[ThatsnotMyNameAgain]

I ve been reading a lot of threads which have been enlightning. Sadly, I understand little about hormones and therapies, much like pensions - i ve kept my head in the ground and my mother never discussed it with me.

I'm 41, in a big role at work, which relies on me thinking sharp, and acting fast when opportunities come up.

However, for about 2 or 3 years i ve had to "fake it".

• i feel jaded most of the time
• i have recurrent out of the blue anxiety which comes and goes
• i second-guess myself for everything I do
• i am not a joy to be around, bad mother, bad friend, bad partner. I lose my rag very easily.
• my periods are v regular but now twice as heavy with clots
• i have the occasional night sweat when i drink more than 2 glasses of wine
• my hair is thinning and my scap is very dry
• i have tinnitus, non stop, which i blamed on the vax (started 6d after)

Everything freaks me out, yet I used to be fearless. Yet i'm considering massive life changes in a misguided (?) attempt to shake the cobwebs.

So far, GP has

• dismissed heavy periods ("it happens to a lot of women"). I got TXA for a few months and iron
• dismissed tinnitus and never wanted to look into it
• dismissed peri as i m too young and have periods. He agreed to test some female hormones, but the test happened at a non specific time in my cycle, so not sure of the value of the test (i think levels were ok)
• dismissed hypothyroidism based on OK TSH levels a few years ago. Won't repeat.

He however gave me propranolol (it does nothing to me, it s not acute panic, it s constant bouts of anxiety) and sertraline (i interestingly had a panic attack at the prospect of taking it).

He also tried to get me to say yes to the coil - i m not keen on it, having stopped the pill 15y ago before kids. It did not really agree with me, i was a moody aggressive lunatic at times while on it.

his opinion is that i'm burnt out (possible) and need to get out for walks more (maybe, but i think it s ignoring the profound malaise i m experiencing)

My diet is good ish, my weight is creeping slowly (but i m quite idle all day long, while eating fairly little) and i m not sure what to do. I feel like a massive imposition everytime i go to the GP. Getting a phone call with him / them these days is impossible anyway.

Not sure what i should do next, i read so much conflicting advice about the pill, the POP, HRT, bio / body identical hormones, supplements - my head is a mess.

sorry for the long ranty thread

Was your iron low? I’ve a lot of similar symptoms, currently on iron tablets but just not getting back to super sparkly and I’m wondering if they aren’t doing the trick
Or if there’s something else going on maybe menopause

It could be the menopause, my experience was that in early 40’s I definitely wasn’t heard. But it might not be ten years of hell even if it is. And it might not be the menopause, do you think there might be merit in you feeling overwhelmed / are you juggling a million different huge things? No answers for you, just heard your frustration x

Different doc or go private. Dr sounds utterly unhelpful. Good luck OP, if there's one thing I've found you really really need to push to get heard. It's so sad and disheartening. Good luck.

Sounds like perimenopause to me.

thanks all for your answers

good point @Zzzzribbetzzzz - I'm always a bit low on iron thks to the monthly mega flood - i should just get back on it. It s not in the anaemic range, more low iron stores with fairly low ferritin. I otherwise take vitamin D, B vitamins, omega 3 and magnesium fairly regularly.

i m looking at the options available privately, i'd be quite happy to pay. I also went shopping for one of these finger prick kits that test the female hormones and the thyroid ones. I ll need to do it on the 4th day of my period, and will need to milk half a milliliter from my little finger. Could be fun.

I could of course also be burnt out. The workload at work is awful.

I’m 42 and very similar OP and I’m starting to conclude it’s hormonal and likely peri

I’d get your thyroid bloods done privately - no actually I’d really push the gp to do it again! Only saying that because at 42 I had very heavy periods. But it turned out I had an underactive thyroid, which was putting preside on my system and the endocrinologist said that would make my period heavier - which also ran down my iron made me more tired! (Lord of knock-ons, fun times)

I got my thyroid sorted, and the brain fog lifted, energy came back, moods lifted.

I’m 47 now and I’m experiencing very similar again but this time I think it is perimenopause (in my case) … I’ve a GP appointment in two weeks to go through my options. I’m confused like you are as to what to do. Periods 100% regular, but heavier again.

It’s not easy to navigate through is it :(

I'm 44 in a similiar level of job - working full time in a role with a lot of complexity and 'on show' a lot on front of various gigantic corporate clients.

Was prescribed combined contraceptive aged 39 when symptoms of peri started, was effective for a couple of years but past 2-3 years more and more intensive symptoms ( including palpitations, anxiety, brain fog, night sweats, fatigue, migraine, restless legs, brittle nails etc).

Had zero faith in GP knowing the up to date NICE guidelines ( and for some GPs under 45 year olds aren't taken seriously).

So just went private ( newson clinic). Best £250 I've ever spent. 60 minute consultation with a GP with specialist interest in menopause and trained by clinic, prescribed HRT ( a gel and Tablet combination) .

I would say I feel like the old me, but actually I feel better than the whole past decade I think.

Every symptom gone or massively reduced 1 month in and the ongoing prescription now taken on by my GP for ongoing provision

I also went shopping for one of these finger prick kits that test the female hormones

They aren't accurate. Even the full armful of blood taken by drs isn't accurate.

Menopausal at 51. Very lucky, only symptom, horrible sweats. At first only nights but then days also and it was becoming difficult.
Not suitable for HRT because of cancer history, my brilliant GP prescribed paroxetine. It’s actually an anti-depressant. I’m not depressed but studies had thrown up that at a very low dose it was effective at dealing with sweats. It worked brilliantly for me. Years on, no symptoms at all.
You need to find the right GP.

thanks all
i live in a small village, my GP is "the GP" (his partner is older and only doing a few days - not a reputation of being enlightened re women s health either). I think i ll go to the big city and go private.

@missfliss, did they do blood when you went?

@KimDeals - great to hear the thyroid check did the trick. Hopefully a private clinic will also be able to check it.

@MrsSkylerWhite - yeah for paroxetine! i ve got no idea if it s similar to sertraline, but good to hear that there are other options that can work!

@ThatsnotMyNameAgain no to blood. It's not needed to diagnose peri menopause ( if all else straightforward and no other conditions to check for).

Blood is nearly useless to check in most cases - by definition peri menopause isn't a steady neat decline in hormones, it's unpredictable fluctuations so a blood test will only give a snapshot of what your hormones are doing on one random day.

However I am a few years older than you and so diagnosing by symptoms alone is more standard. It probably is worth looking at thyroid function too on your case