Please talk to me about post menopause hair loss

[AnyFucker]

Or if not, just let me get this out. Not sure if it belongs here or in MH. Get a cuppa, this will be long.

I am post menopause. I am suffering with anxiety and labile mental health since working on COVID ICU last year. This seems to manifesting itself in intrusive thoughts and health anxiety.

My biggest obsession atm is my hair. Through the various lockdowns it started to fall out more. I let it be, couldn’t get to a hairdresser for months then denied/avoided it. It grew from a pixie cut to straggly, thinner below shoulder length.

I finally saw the hairdresser who has cut it into a shoulder length bob and put a few fine highlights in. She tells me I lose no more hair when she washes and styles it than she would expect. I have discussed the above with her and she is lovely. She may be trying to spare my feelings, I dunno.

But I lose LOADS. A full tangleteezer brush or comb in the shower. Another full brush/comb/handful carefully combing through product after the shower. A full styling brush worth at blow dry. Literal handfuls I have to flush down the loo. Then when I am finished I pick another couple of handfuls from my clothes and the floor.

This can’t be right. Admittedly, one long hair seems much more than my usual short hair. I have lost perspective, possibly. My hair does seem fine and thinner (for example my pony tail is like a rat’s) but no receding hair line, no male pattern loss, no bald spots. It is otherwise in good condition but when it hangs down you can kind of “see through” it more, it isn’t a proper curtain of hair.

Is this normal post menopause? I spoke with the GP who did some blood tests and recommended Vit B12 supplements otc but no more. I have sought support from the Resilience hub at work but finding that mindfulness and all that stuff isn’t keeping my hair on my head.

Is it stress ? A combination ? I have a stable, treated under active thyroid.

I thought I was doing ok with it all. Obviously not, as evidenced by this essay. My anxiety is high just now as I have also convinced myself I have a melanoma which is getting checked this week (it will probably turn out to be nothing). Despite my health anxiety I hate being the “patient” and will delay assessment until I literally am at breaking point.

I don’t take HRT and don’t especially want to. Does anybody still reading have any calming words for me ?

God, that is a wall of self absorption if ever I saw one

AF I don't have any advice on this but don't put the hair down the loo or you will end up blocking it. That will be more stress you don't need!

Thanks for the reply. Sorry you are suffering too.

It’s not so much my confidence, that seems to be ok. It’s like my equilibrium is fucked. I ruminate and catastrophise. Relive worst case scenarios during long periods of crippling insomnia.

I can’t seem to shake myself out of negativity any more, or at least not for long. It creeps back, and I think getting older and less resilient gives that negativity sooooo many more footholds to latch on to.

This is MH, I think.

Ok, thanks for the practical advice about not blocking the loo. I have been chucking it in there quickly to try and not “see” it, IYKWIM

Probably not helpful but very sympathetic. I’m going through early menopause, my hair is definitely very much thinner than it used to be (and it’s always been very fine but there used to be lots of it) and HRT hasn’t had an appreciable effect. It’s very upsetting. I have highlights in regularly because I’m hoping my scalp is less visible through lighter coloured hair. I’m probs my fooling myself.

My only possibly suggestion would be to brush it less - does it absolutely need brushing/combing in the shower then after the shower then again when you blow dry it?

I know you don’t want to take HRT but I had panic attacks for the first time in my life in my fifties. Specifically while driving on motorways after a lifetime of enjoying driving.Anxiety and worry far above normal. I thought I was getting dementia (my mum had early onset in her fifties for perspective). I saw a menopause specialist and started HRT. Within days I felt more normal and have never had one since. Even if you don’t want HRT, to understand it may be hormone imbalance causing your problems may be a relief.

It does need a fair amount of combing/ brushing.

It has always been fine and tangles easily. The highlights have made that worse (but I did need them and only had a few). I shampoo gently but it still snarls up so I comb conditioner through in the shower after leaving it on for 5 mins.

Then use one of those gentle turbans to avoid towel drying but the snarls reappear so I use a tangleteezer with a good detangling/heat protection product brushed through

Then I use one of those Revlon one step dryers to smooth it straight when nearly dry

The worst clumps come out in the shower whatever I do and even if I don’t style it, over the course of the day the hair falls anyway

You can see how much time and headspace this mop is taking up….

I have managed without HRT through a horrible peri and am now more than 2 years without a period

I am not sure I would even be offered HRT now and tbh, I can imagine it might exacerbate my health anxiety

Perhaps strangely, despite imagining the worst outcomes constantly, I am anti meds

All I take is 100mg thyroxine and that is because I was shown the objective numbers and told I had to

@AnyFucker I'm past the menopause and my hair is thinner too but it seems to have found its level and I don't have any bald patches or anything like that so I would say please try not to worry although it's easy for me to say that.

I also used to get awful, really awful, health anxiety too and I work in the NHS as well, so don't know if it's something about the work we do but, yeah, whilst that hasn't entirely gone away I am more sanguine about things now. I don't know how close you live to somewhere you can go and just be in a kind of (not woo) spriritual sense, like near water or somewhere else like that? where there are no demands on you more than you just breathe in and out and allow your senses to take in other things that we all forget are there in times of trauma?

Insomnia is a bastard, right? So now I do the youtube thing of sleep hypnosis and it works most nights; I was sceptical though.

AF - there are better days to come for you. I believe it.

Some days I believe it too.

HRT

Honestly, you'll never look back. It'll take care of the moods, anxiety and hair loss. Takes a few months though.

Sympathies. I'm two years into meno also. The first 12 months my hair fell out in huge hands full in the shower. I was coincidentally very stressed, eating rubbish and not getting good quality sleep.

I changed my diet cut out alcohol and reduced sugar and wheat. I've lost weight and exercise regularly and sleep much better. The hair loss has stopped. Except on my legs and underarms which is excellent as I used to look like Mr Tumnus in the first days of summer before getting myself into gear and tackling the winter's growth. Got to grab the positives where we can.

I also take magnesium Ok from boots which is meant to be a good formula for menopausal women.

All the best with your other investigation. 🌸

Anyfucker I can't comment on the post menopausal hair loss (as I'm not quite there yet) but a few things stood out to me from your OP...
I have loads of hair loss each time I brush my hair. My hair is a fine, frizzy curly mess with a huge tendency to snarl and ball up. I brush it once a day - post shower. If I brushed it as often as you sound like you're doing, I'd lose lots more.

Invest in a good quality female multivitamin. If you're round down or stressed, nails and hair can really suffer. Do you drink lots of water and take something like omega 3 or fish oil?

You sound like you're having a bit of a hard time. Are you able to take some me time to relax and look after yourself?

I wash my hair twice a week. Imbetween I don’t comb or brush it at all, just run my fingers through it. It is pretty straight and the product I use keeps it detangled until I wash it again.

I know what you are saying though, thanks

If you don't have a receding hairline, obvious bald patches or if you can't see your scalp through your hair maybe you just have very fine, lank hair that sheds a lot. I'm just thinking with you saying you've always had a pixie style until lockdown you maybe haven't noticed the shedding before because it is only now its a length and style more noticeable.

I would just go back to a very short style and then you won't notice the hair everywhere?

This could be true. I haven’t had long hair for decades. Which is why I am questioning myself so much. It’s exhausting.

I am not sure I would even be offered HRT now and tbh, I can imagine it might exacerbate my health anxiety

You can have HRT at any time, at any age, @AnyFucker but the 'window of opportunity' as medics call it, (when it works best on maintaining heart health and bone health) is up to 10 years after a final period. So you'd have bags of time.

Women can also start HRT over 60, at a low dose to begin with.

My hair was becoming thinner like yours. I don't have a lot to start with. I upped my protein intake and take a daily vitamin tablet that says it's for hair and nails. My hair has improved, not sure if it is due to those things or it would have anyway but it's worth a try.

@ufucoffee

My hair was becoming thinner like yours. I don't have a lot to start with. I upped my protein intake and take a daily vitamin tablet that says it's for hair and nails. My hair has improved, not sure if it is due to those things or it would have anyway but it's worth a try.

I take oral marine collagen. My skin, hair and nails are in the best condition they've ever been.

I'm sure hrt would make greater improvements, but at the moment I'd rather not take medication if I can manage the ongoing changes through lifestyle without prescriptions.

I’m in my second menopause ( due to having cancer treatment) my hair is finer/thinner and I have bald bits where fringe used to be. I also had anxiety and I could not manage without taking either citalopram or venlafaxine. I totally understand how you feel ( oddly enough I’m just recovering from surgery for melanoma )
I think this is far more a mental health problem at the fore-deal with that first and i honestly think medication would be the way to go.Sort that out first.I’m sorry because it’s terrible to feel like this.I can completely relate.I’ve just accepted that my lovely long thick blonde hair is no more! My hairdresser cuts it in a way that hides my worst bits and says it really is very common once menopause hits.I can’t advocate hrt as I would never be able to have it as too big a risk for me personally

This happened to my cousin and she bought some good hair pieces which attached to her hair for a natural look and brought her confidence back. Her hair is replenishing itself gradually now after a couple of years of thinning.

Thanks for the new replies. Very kind.