I'm embarrassed to say I have just realised that I am perimenopausal. Embarrassed because I'm a doctor and have been tolerating strange things for about 4 years without realising that this was the answer. I'm 45 and I think this all started when I was 41.
I'd had my second child at 38. It took about 2 years for my periods to come back (was only breast feeding for 6 months). While I waited for my period to return, I felt hellish. It was like permanent PMT and the night sweats drenched my bed and mattress. If I sat up at night I had a river running down my chest. Then my periods came back and were pretty regular (28 days) but sometimes lasted 10 days, sometimes 1 day. And my PMT was more like the whole second fortnight rather than a few days. I remember meeting an old friend and when she asked how I was I blurted out "ANGRY. All the fucking time."
Then at 41 I fell pregnant with my third child. Pregnancy was a blessed relief. I felt like me again -the world was crystal clear and I was content. But I knew I was different, better, and started to dread the end of the pregnancy and returning to what had been going on. I actually thought it was just PMT worsening with age and started researching ways to deal with PMT in preparation.
Delivered my third when I was 42. Got my periods back 18 months after she was born. Same experience as before while waiting. Night sweats were insane. Settled when my periods returned. But gradually, the anger, volatile moods and random period duration has returned. Instead of just being in the second half, it's solidly the second half with random spikes at other times when I am just in the red fog. My husband looks like me like I've gone mad and says "why are you so angry about this now, you've never been angry about this before?".
What else...
I'm tired all the time
My weight "set point" is about 20lbs higher than it has been. I can lose with a huge amount of effort, gain easily but generally sit at the same place, just in the overweight BMI cat.
I feel hungry most of the time.
I wake a lot at night having been a very deep sleeper my whole life
Occasional night sweats but nothing like when I had no period at all
My tolerance for normal behaviour from the kids is very low, and out of keeping with who I think I really am (if that makes sense)
Last month I had a frightening experience when I lost my central vision in one eye. I had an emergency appointment. GP/optician assumption was that I had a retinal detachment (I'm very short sighted and this is a known risk). Turns out it was my first ever migraine. I realised then, that on reflection I had been having visual aura for a while.
I asked the eye dr why I'd have migraine for the first time at 45 and they said, "menopause". And that's when the penny dropped.
I definitely don't want another baby just to escape this for 9 months...so I do think I'd like HRT...for me, for household harmony, to get my energy back...
Wondering what experiences other women have had with HRT at my age, while still having periods. Would love to hear thoughts on specific types.
A big issue for me is acne. I have had lifelong issues with hormonal acne and my skin is actually pretty good right now. I wonder if this would play a part in any choice here.
Grateful to you if you read this and can offer some thoughts!