[quote Redhotchilis]@pinkrabbits39, yes, I was always the most chilled of people. I was always the calm one when it came to children falling ill etc, never rushing them unnecessarily to the GP/hospital.
Then I started to develop horrendous anxiety over everything. I was absolutely convinced one of us was going to die. I was sure I had illnesses that would be terminal once diagnosed, was convinced one of the children would die in their sleep/ every slight ailment/pain they got I thought was cancer. It was absolutely exhausting feeling like this but hiding it from them, so I didn't ruin their lives too. I couldn't sleep with worry(at one point I was so scared that I wouldn't wake up if I fell asleep), lost weight because I was too worried to eat, I felt permanently sick. Then, of course, I was convinced weight loss was cancer again.
I even went through a period of not even being able to go to the supermarket without shaking, I was terrified there would be a terrorist attack whilst was there and I'd die. It was all about anxiety over leaving my DCs without a mum.
Looking back now, it's quite scary how ill I was. I hid most of it because I knew it was crazy, and I thought I had no right to feel so 'indulgent ' as I had a lovely life looking in from the outside. I ended up on diazepam and anti depressants, although didn't stay on the anti depressants.
I lived like this for about 3years. Went on HRT and it disappeared completely. I'm now back to the chilled person I really am.
Hope you get sorted soon. I really feel for you, its debilitating
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@Redhotchilis I am crying reading your post! Oh my god, this is exactly me... literally everything you've typed resonates with me.
To top it all, being the most normal sane and outgoing person who then gets struck with this is even more cruel when you have to pretend it's not happening.
I have not had the results with HRT you have, I'm on 5 pumps of gel and utrogeston tabs, I keep begging for the HRT miracle but I know it needs tweaking and I'm trying to be patient... thank you so much for convincing me to stay with it and I'm not going mad 