So depressed during my period

[SinisterBumFacedCat]

I have always had a little PMT, usually just a bit grumpy a few days before I come on.

This time it just hasn’t gone, I have been feeling low throughout my period and it’s getting worse. This is not normal for me. I have spent the last hour crying.

I am 45, have some peri symptoms but not the normal ones, no hot flushes but my skin is basically fucked, rasht, itchy and dry. I get flooding and really tired when my period starts which is new.

I just need to know has anyone else had this and does it get better when the period finishes?

Darling I don't know but just wanted to let you know I'm sorry. I remember my first period, it was the moment I realised life wasn't fair and then after having DC1 it got worse again - the worst it's ever been in my 40's. I can't help but feel mad every time at the changes - I thought it'd be over by now. Talk to your doc, but I think they'll tell you it's normal.

Thank you ladywriter it’s reassuring to know it’s not just me and probably a peri thing. It had been for ages the one thing that never changed, clockwork pmt, clockwork 1 day cramps, now my period has more encores than Bruce Springsteen! I am feeling a little better, tried to get a GP appointment but the surgery is so busy it has closed down even it’s online services. Which made me even more depressed!

I started getting like this about a year or two ago. I can't say when it ends but personally I have managed it through supplements. I'm nearly 42 so I hadn't really considered it as Peri just yet (not out of the realms of possibility of course but genetically we tend to go later....wouldn't surprise me if I was an outlier though).

I empathise I had to be really careful to keep an eye on days as I got older because I made bad decisions on certain days because I was so so down. My energy tanked heavily (but I am anaemic as well ..as you can see I'm a delightful robust individual ).

I upped my iron , started to take l theanine and 5htp and magnesium. That and being aware of it and being quite kind to myself those days has kept it manageable. I avoid if I can anything important or strenuous those days because it will never end well and if I can avoid it I manage it carefully by being really clear with myself that my reaction and thought process is chemical and not me.

It's not perfect but it gets me through and far better than the borderline certifiable I was at one point.

I get horrible mood swings, it's gotten much worse since turning 40.

Definitely related to period and peri menopause.

HRT may help.

A GP will just write you a prescription for antidepressants but before you go down that road it's worth investigating other options.

I'm sure AD's can really help some people but for me they killed my libido and caused anhedonia to the point where I can't feel joy any more. I may be wrong on this but AD's are not NICE guidelines recommended first option.

You can insist on seeing a doctor who knows about peri or preferably a referral to a menopause clinic.

Too many GPs are clueless about menopause and try to firefight symptoms instead of taking a holistic approach!!

There are some good ones if you're lucky.

If you can afford it go private with a menopause specialist.

Hope you feel better soon

I do now have a rule that DP backs up is that I do not make any big decisions or actions on those two or three days. It got me into issues a couple of times so until I'm sure I'm rational nothing gets done. It saved me this month when I wanted to sob and possibly slash the tyres of someone at work ( not literally obviously I wanted to send a somewhat cough direct email giving her both barrels) who was being difficult on those days last month. Thankfully I learnt to tell DP and he reminded me (gently because he has good survival instincts) that I was probably not seeing clearly and to wait until after the weekend to respond.

He was right and thankfully I didn't torpedo myself. It helps if you have back up those days and ban yourself from big actions. Seems silly but worth it.

I did think I had PMDD for a while but now I am wondering if it's 'just' peri menopause.

I literally went crazy once a month. I'm loads better on HRT but it's still bubbling away underneath! I just don't scream and threaten divorce these days...