Has the menopause affected how you feel about sex?

[Liveonyournerves]

I'm interested to hear from those of you whose attitudes and feelings towards sex as you progress along the meno journey - either deep in peri or post meno.

I'm post-meno. I haven't had a period in many years, but had a slightly early menopause. I'm only 51 now. I was on HRT for a while, then came off, but I'm back on to help with sleep - which it has done - and libido - not yet. The doctor said that once I've been on estrogen/prog for a few months, they'll add in testosterone if needed.

I realised today that I feel so disconnected about sex; I used to fantasise and masturbate, I used to feel sexual, but those feelings have completely gone. I'm married to a man who I know still finds me attractive and desirable, and who I still have sex with - but it feels different. Mentally, I have to pysch myself up. And during sex, as well as the obvious dryness-needing-lubricant, it's much harder to let go and enjoy it.

I am young. I want to have an active sex life still. I'm interested to hear how others have adjusted to the change?

You may yawn @MaMelon but I’ve always had problems with every form of contraception I’ve tried and I’ve been looking forward to being post menopausal and therefore able to have sex as much as I like whenever I like without all the worry, and now I’m hearing stuff like ‘dead from the waist down’ and ‘I feel neutered’ and it’s all a bit disappointing!

@BatshitCrazyWoman you are my only hope

56 and post menopausal and my sex drive has fallen off a cliff! I used to love sex but now really can't be bothered and it just feels a bit silly and unrewarding now. Prefer playing Scrabble online and making art these days.

Aiden Turner just might get me going tho!

[quote RoseAddict]@BatshitCrazyWoman you are my only hope[/quote]
I'm glad I can't say I know why I'm the way I am though!

46 and in peri menopause. No sex drive at all. Very happy with DH and he is happy too, he’s older than me and also has low sex drive. Both of us can take it or leave it tbh.

Mid 40s and peri, and I swing from being a sex pest one week to finding it almost unbearable to be touched, with a stretch of tolerating it in the middle. And when I’m having my “in heat” week, there’s the awful thought that this might be the last time I even want to do this.

I'm so sorry you're disappointed @RoseAddict - perhaps you won't be similarly afflicted.

I feel quite the failure now

@MaMelon well menopause seems to be all about failing as far as I’ve got so far! I’m only mid 40s and I feel about 100 at the moment. I’m going to fight the sex failure thing though!

I am 48 and peri menopause. I have had zero libido for a few years, I do have quite young kids though ( obviously had them late in life!) so unsure if it's exhausted from them or a combination or my hashimotos!! but recently something has changed and it's slowly ebbing it's way back in. The only change I have made is that I have re joined the gym and am loving that again. I just feel like I have more energy again and we have had more sex in the last few weeks than in the last year!

I'm 48 too and my sex drive suddenly returned aged 46. I had my kids late too, that and not liking my husband, and the collapse of my marriage meant that I had no sex drive at all for years. Then it suddenly returned, really dramatically. I think I got happier, starting two new active hobbies that I loved and helped me to feel positive about my body again, and prob peri hormones too. My sex drive it like I am in my 20s again. Happily I have found a new lover, who is the best lover I have ever had. I think and fantasise about sex a lot. I love my new found sex life and sexual desire. I am really worried about it bogging off again when I go through menopause proper.

The only change I have made is that I have re joined the gym and am loving that again. I just feel like I have more energy again and we have had more sex in the last few weeks than in the last year! I think this can help. It was my experience and that of another woman I spoke to.

@moreofthisagain that’s good to read. I’m thinking I should join the gym again. I tried taking up jogging around this time last year but broke my ankle on day 2!

[quote RoseAddict]@moreofthisagain that’s good to read. I’m thinking I should join the gym again. I tried taking up jogging around this time last year but broke my ankle on day 2![/quote]
Yeah, find something you love that is also active. I'm no good at exercising for the sake of it. But I love these two new hobbies. Its been good for my emotional state, as well as hopefully combating menopausal muscle decay and bone density loss. And seems to have helped invigorate my sex drive. So you know, win, win, win! And its also been nice to start something new at this time of life . Makes me feel still engaged with life! : )

@BatshitCrazyWoman

I'm 57 and still have and enjoy sex!

I want to be you! : )

@BatshitCrazyWoman have you just continued to have sex as normal? I was hoping that if I keep having sex I will keep wanting it, in a use it or lose it sort of way?

Have you any thoughts on why your kept your sex drive?

Has anyone studied why some women keep their sex drive and some don't? That should be government funded that should! I want to know what I can do about it!

I wrote similar on here earlier today. We spent thousands on bioidentical HRT with one of the goals to increase my libido. The doctor formulated that HRT with that in mind and still no change. I fancy my partner, I just don’t get that ‘sexual itch’ I used to get, particularly before ovulation. It’s really sad.

Testerone!!!!

I am having the best sex of my life. I am about 3 months into it and it is amazing. I am happy, have energy, and have really great sex. This is the best I've felt in years. I am 47.

I recommend it to all. Go private and pay for it if you can. It is the elixir of middle age.

@TupilaLilium

Testerone!!!!

I am having the best sex of my life. I am about 3 months into it and it is amazing. I am happy, have energy, and have really great sex. This is the best I've felt in years. I am 47.

I recommend it to all. Go private and pay for it if you can. It is the elixir of middle age.

I must just be dead from the waist down now then as they upped the testosterone in my formula and all I got was a hairy arm to show for it 😩

@FreeBritnee I am sorry for you.

I apply mine on my lower body and change the spot every day to prevent the hair growth. I did get a batch of pimples a side effect but they were on my chin and could have been masks.

Before I started testosterone I could enjoy sex, mostly I wasn't fussed to begin. Now I seek it out. I started it for low energy and malaise, the sex is a happy side effect.

I don't see menopause as ovarian failure, the ovaries do not fail they shift function and downregulate function, this is pre-programmed in human females.

I remember feeling more randy during the peri-menopause phase (ten years ago and I got over it :-). My husband thought his luck had changed, bless him. Now I am just the same as I was before.

@moreofthisagain I have no idea! When my marriage was on its last legs, I stopped having sex, because my now exh was so horrible to me. I still wanted sex, but absolutely not with him! Once I was divorced and dating again I had a great time!

@TupilaLilium

Testerone!!!!

I am having the best sex of my life. I am about 3 months into it and it is amazing. I am happy, have energy, and have really great sex. This is the best I've felt in years. I am 47.

I recommend it to all. Go private and pay for it if you can. It is the elixir of middle age.

How much does it cost?

Why do you have to go private? If men are prescribed viagra for thier sex drive, why can't women get testosterone for theirs?

You could try asking the GP for testosterone but the NHS can only prescribe male versions as far as I know (maybe differs in the various UK nations?) There is a thing called Androfeme which IS tailored for women but has to be prescribed privately at a cost of c.£80 . I'm not sure if anyone has had it prescribed by telephone from the Newsom clinic? If you have, please let me know!

Late 40s and genuinely repulsed by the idea of sex with another person.

It's a shame as my husband is a lovely man and I used to really fancy him.

I did try testosterone for a month but it didn't do anything for me. Maybe I should give it another go.

I just feel wrung out like a wet dishcloth lately, so many niggles and it's such a slow process to get anything sorted out.