Libido has taken a nose dive

[twinklystar23]

Just that really, always enjoyed sex and never thought I wouldn't. Quite content with just a cuddle and wouldn't care if I never had sex again, BUT feel for DH who just thinks some KY will fix it! Have tried talking about it, that I need more time to try and get aroused but it's either uncomfortable so I'm tense it will hurt, or he probably gets bored and needs release by whatever way possible! Or I get bored and am more interested in going to sleep.
He'd not go to any sort of therapy just not him, as tried before with other problems. So à bit of a stalemate, any ideas ? Or anyone had similar?

Yes absolutely, I was the complete opposite and always interested but since my hysterectomy it's gradually gone to the point of having absolutely no interest. My partner is younger than me and I feel guilty that I feel this way, I think it's a combination of feeling very unsexy as I've put on so much weight , to the worry of if we do actually get round to it I'll be plagued with yet another urine infection. Vaginal dryness isn't an issue at all it's literally like something in my brain has been switched off . I absolutely hate it and long for the feelings that used to be there!

Yep. Hormonal gell for down below. hrt. Testosterone if the hrt isn’t enough.

You might need to see a specialist if it comes to testosterone but can start w GP for gell and HRT.

It doesn’t sound to me that anyone needs therapy?

Yes, this was me a few months ago and actually started a thread about it too. I had my HRT dosage adjusted and its made all the difference. I'm back to fancying my husband and wanting sex and it's generally really good - different after a hysterectomy but still good. At one point I thought we'd never do it again which, at 45, wasn't a great thought.

Have you spoken to your doctor?

Sadly I'm not able to have HRT as I had a highly oestrogen receptive breast cancer. I sought advice from a Macmillan nurse who suggested 'watching a sexy film'

Oh I see, very sorry to hear that.

Helpful from the nurse there. I think that the vaginal gell should still be Ok, and I think you could still try testosterone too. gPs are pretty useless in this area, could you avoid to see a private specialist - eg my Menopause Doctor (website)

Bullet vibrator?