What do you wish you'd known about perimenopause before it started?

[Miltonma]

Self explanatory thread title I think but thought it'd be useful to gather information for others. I also want to see Dr Louise Newson's clinic and still learned more from this group.

• First line choice for medication is often Estrogel (2 squirts) and Utrogestan (200mg for 12 days)
• Start small with the Estrogen. I used too much at first. A large pea size is perfect for me.
• Your periods are likely to stop on hrt even if you are just perimenopausal
• Rub the estrogel over a decent area and then let it dry by itself. Don't rub it in.
• Restless leg syndrome can be a symptom of perimenopause
• GPs can be a pain and you'll need perseverance but use the NICE guidance to help get your prescription

What would you add?

*[Post edited at OP's request to remove one line]

I'm all over the place. To think there could be another 10 years of this!!

@Craftycorvid

Expect to get bitch slapped by any unfinished business you’ve been trying to ignore. It’s very scary but can be liberating if you work through it.

This is so true! Because I started with depression and anxiety I tried therapy first and turned up a lot of stuff! Not sure if it was all necessary but I guess it's helpful in the long run...

For me it's the brain fog.
Its both scary and infuriating.
Not being able to lose weight.
Just not having the ooomph I used to.
In other ways its very freeing though...I am SO over a lot of stuff/people I used to worry over

The need to track mood swings. Several times a month I am so filled with rage that I am convinced my marriage is over. DH is actually a really nice guy. I track it now and the rage days are quite cyclical. It's enabled me to take steps to remove myself from work/the house if needed on those days.

I assumed it would be all hot flushes and no periods. Mine has been an endless creep of palpitations, fear, sadness and rage. Oh and the pools of sweat under my boobs at night and my manky looking pillow are just grim.

I have enormous sympathy for everyone going through this and it's a great idea to share info. I have heard so often that women who really suffer can get brushed off.

What I would like to contribute though is to say that I didn't suffer at all during this time of my life and I think I'm now out the other side as I am nearly 60. I'm not gloating, just saying that if you are coming up to that time of life please don't think that suffering is inevitable. You might be fine.

I have had a very turbulent few years emotionally but I think that in this time of life women have a lot of shit to put up with which is nothing to do with hormones. Realising that decades of wife work are coming to an end and nobody has noticed or cared and you still have to be available for children who nowadays don't really seem to leave home, plus responsibility for elderly relatives, coming to terms with the fact that not being able to work as many hours as your partner because of caring means you don't have much of your own money etc etc. Sometimes the rage comes from real shitty situations.

Everybody has hormones, including men. Before you blame your rage on hormones consider that you might have good reasons to be angry and tired.

Not everyone suffers. I had three heavier periods than normal, two weeks of hot flushes and all was done. No problems. I'm an insomniac and have been my whole adult life so haven't noticed lack of sleep as a symptom. I'm as active as ever and don't miss the couple of days of PMT I used to have each month.

Digestive issues!

Having thought you understood why your periods had stopped, hrt from perimenopause, one period hits you with a vengeance. Had a few pmt symptoms but the timing of this period just could not be worse.

Several times a month I am so filled with rage that I am convinced my marriage is over.
Yes. A few days ago I was convinced I wanted a divorce. Don't now.

Haven't really had any problems with periods at all, and not too bad with hot flushes, which is all my GP and specialist seemed to ask about. But...
Debilitating anxiety and depression, and brain fog, have nearly finished me off. So many people including Dr Newson's articles, say not to be fobbed off with anti depressants and go for HRT. I spent a while on HRT, tweaked by the GP and it didn't help (although funnily enough sorted out my joint pain). Went on a low dose of Prozac and it made a massive difference. So, try lots of different things, because we're all different.

Mine aren’t particularly heavy they just feel a lot more painful. Constant hot water bottles. Anyone else?

You can be perimenopausal when you've recently had a baby.
Having heavy periods and being anaemic isn't normal.
Being given anti depressants to cope with the raging pmt isn't the answer
Just because you're not having hot flashes doesn't mean it's not peri

Excellent thread. medebourne I spent a lot of time wondering if the peri menopausal rage was real or if it was ‘just hormones’ and I have come to the conclusion that it’s real things that make me angry and that they are things I shouldn’t ignore. The low/ weird hormones either amplify my real feelings or perhaps without that nice cushion of oestrogen I am less compliant and less likely to put up with stuff I should never have put up with. I find there’s a power in the rage that is righteous and frankly I could have done with finding it earlier in life. It also comes with a kind of rawness/ emotional openness that is new to me... I used to be pretty untouchable emotionally. Anyway, so far I’m riding it out without HRT.

Heart palpitations prompting major anxiety attacks are not heart attacks and shouldn't see you end up in A&E of course if you have heart attack symptoms always better to get them checked out. But there are a lot of women who end up seeking medical help when symptoms are hormone related and the doctors don't even think to check hormone factors. I've been looked at as if I was making things up before!!!

Also burning tongue is a symptom, again I thought it was down to something else but it's listed as a symptom on meg's menopause as she had it too. Again another doctor completely dismissed this!

Exercise when you can

Don’t try and suffer through if it’s debilitating. HRT has saved my sanity.

Wish I’d known how bloody long it would dribble on for. And what a hatchet-faced old boot I’d become. Plus the list of all the physical things that seem unrelated and make you think you’re dying as well as mad as cheese. And furious. And joyless.

I praise the miracle of HRT.

Reading with interest ..
I’m 55 and until a couple of years ago, I was taking the pill back-to back (as I had been for many years).

My GP asked why was I still taking it. I explained I was due a holiday and I didn’t want a bleed to ruin it. She took me off it straight away and said I will probably not see another period ever again.
She was right, obviously.

So, two years later, I think the menopause is catching up on me, probably later than normal due to the pill.
Dry skin, what I think are eczema patches, never slept all the way through anyway, but I’m hot (and not in a good way.).
And I’m grumpy, so grumpy and keep glaring at dh for (probably) small things that I need to get over.

Heart palpitations prompting major anxiety attacks are not heart attacks and shouldn't see you end up in A&E
I ended up going to A&E thinking my heart palpitations were heart related, obviously not, though heart disease runs in the family, so that’s why I went, seeing my life flash before my eyes. Embarrassing 🙄🤦‍♀️.
Sorry to go on.

Well passed perimenopause but at the time was just expecting bad periods and vaginal dryness etc. Absolutely wasn't expecting the massive anxiety (with palpitations etc) that completely blindsided me and took a few years to stabilise. I went from laid back, happy go lucky to anxious mess seemingly overnight.

For reassurance- it got miles better post menopause

@damekindness

Well passed perimenopause but at the time was just expecting bad periods and vaginal dryness etc. Absolutely wasn't expecting the massive anxiety (with palpitations etc) that completely blindsided me and took a few years to stabilise. I went from laid back, happy go lucky to anxious mess seemingly overnight.

For reassurance- it got miles better post menopause

For reassurance- it got miles better post menopause

Can’t honestly wait 🙂

@damekindness

Well passed perimenopause but at the time was just expecting bad periods and vaginal dryness etc. Absolutely wasn't expecting the massive anxiety (with palpitations etc) that completely blindsided me and took a few years to stabilise. I went from laid back, happy go lucky to anxious mess seemingly overnight.

For reassurance- it got miles better post menopause

Sorry, glad it got better for you, and that is reassuring to me and all on this thread, thank you 🙂.