I'm throwing the towel in

[Laeta]

I'm throwing the towel in and going to go down the HRT route. I've being going through the menopause about 5 years. It's not been as awful as some, but not great.

I take LOADS of supplements, am slim, eat healthily (mostly) exercise daily (cardio and weights), don't drink. My resting heart rate is 52. So I'm pretty fit! Or USED TO BE!

For the love of god, there is nothing more I can do!

Anyway, have steadily been feeling better and thought I was over the worst of it. Woooo hooo

I didn't get hot flushes, I used to get cold shivers! I could always tell when something hormonaly was going on as I'd get wee electric shock thingies going on.

So was feeling pretty smug, over the worst of it, I've stopped wanting to kill everyone or cry every day. All good.

However for the last 2 months or so, my body has become so incredibly achy. If I stay still for more than an hour, I literally can't walk. If I miss a day of exercise, the next day I can't get out of bed easily. I'm like a 90 year old! Which according to Dr Google could be low oestrogen.

Also my sleep has gone mental! Ping I'm awake at 5am every morning. And averaging between 2-4 hours a night sleep. Wow that doesn't seem a lot when you write it down!

So I'm gonna have to go on HRT, I feel sick and incredibly sad as that is not the route I wanted to go down. It's all personal choices and know a lot of you have gone down that route. I've never even taken the pill preferring Dutch cap method.

Anyway, bloody hell this is turning into a novel sorry, after reading some threads here yesterday I rang my GP to discuss. Three weeks before a telephone appointment, three sodding weeks!

Is that normal? I've not been to the doctor for god knows how many years! Three weeks!

So the whole point of this thread is .... yeah I'm getting there. Has anyone gone to a private clinic and any recommendations?

And has anyway else tried HR so late through the menopause journey? I'm 56 ffs! Should be well over it by now!!

I started HRT 6 months ago and it has been great. I am your age and thought I was never going to go through the menopause. It hit me last summer like a wall. I didn’t have hot flushes but could not sleep. I was exhausted and working long hours. I’m usually a positive person but I got so down and anxious. I think that was down to the exhaustion. The patches have been great. I am sleeping 7 hours most nights and I feel bright. I plan on using them forever! I just feel normal again.

Prior to HRT I had never taken any hormone-based contraception as I've always been incredibly sensitive to oestrogen and my consultant told me to avoid it, so I did and used a copper IUD. I had wanted to avoid HRT because I didn't want to take hormones.

However, perimenopause changed that and I had to go the HRT route as my symptoms were so debilitating. I do see a private specialist as my GP wasn't helpful, particularly as my transition was not typical. However, at the least, start with your GP but read the NICE guidelines so you know what's what and don't get palmed off with anti-depressants.

Additionally, look at Dr Louise Newson (The Menopause Doctor) as she consults online and will send a prescription through to your doctor.

Be advised that even if you go privately, you might still need to wait a few weeks for an appointment.

As an aside, gels and creams are better than patches and pills.

Oh how frustrating when you do everything you can. I hear you and I totally sympathise buy accepting help in the form of HRT is not a failure. It's help. Theres a reason it exists, menopause is tough. Be kind to yourself.

Thanks ladies. I've taken your advice and booked an online Menopause clinic. However first available appointment is in May!!

How many of us are suffering???

Op have you had a thyroid function test? That can cause some of your symptoms including sleep issues, aching/stiffness and low heart rate.

I don't think it's helpful to agonise, like you most people don't want to take medicine, it's an option if you're tired of suffering. I'd rather have the option than not.

@crispinglovershighkick

Op have you had a thyroid function test? That can cause some of your symptoms including sleep issues, aching/stiffness and low heart rate.

I don't think it's helpful to agonise, like you most people don't want to take medicine, it's an option if you're tired of suffering. I'd rather have the option than not.

Thyroid issues often go hand-in-hand with menopause, so that will be looked at when they're evaluating how best to treat the OP.

OP, I had to wait 3 months for my first appointment with a menopause specialist. It was definitely worth the wait!

Joining thread. Will be back later

Also have you had your but D checked. Your symptoms are common to those suffering from low levels.

If HRT sorts out your sleep, please come back to let us which regime you're on. I've tried three different ones and none worked.

Haha not but D, vit D!

Thanks for all your advice ladies. So so helpful and wise.

I've ordered a thyroid test and will go to local private clinic for them to take blood. I've given up on the NHS. Not that I can really afford the test, but don't drink or smoke so money spent on my health is not wasted!

I HATE feeling so old!!! When did that happen??

Don't think there is much hope for help for my butt @dontdisturbmenow!! ;)

Op this is jumping the gun a bit as your thyroid may be fine, but if it's not you may struggle to get treatment on the basis of a private test. Just fyi. If you had abnormal results you'd potentially have no way to do anything about it.

Thyroid UK is a good place to start, you can ask about meno vs thyroid symptoms there and see if anyone can offer advice (only proviso is that there's the usual array of characters there as on any forum, some advice is good, not all).

How much vitamin D are you taking per day? Could you get a quick test on Thriva or BetterYou to rule that out while you wait to see a specialist?
I was taking a daily multivitamin, plus occasional 1000iu of Vitamin D for a couple of years (I don't sunbathe).
Last April, due to Covid and who it was affecting, I decided to get more sunshine every day and increased to daily 1000iu. In May I paid for a Thriva test. My result was 19. Experts suggest we should be between 50-100.
So if I was low/deficient even though I took supplements and eat a vitamin D/calcium/K2 rich diet, plus got plenty of April sunshine, I dread to think how low people who don't take supplements are.
I'm now aware that food can only contribute around 10%.
It showed me that unless we know our blood level to start with, and take an appropriate loading dose, then it's difficult (impossible?) to get the level up with mere maintenance doses.

I hear you @Laeta and I'm considering joining you. I'm the same age as you and have been managing perfectly well with supplements. But the aching joints are really getting to me now. I've got a routine appointment with my GP (who's great and very clued up on menopause) in a few weeks, so I will discuss it with her then.

@crispinglovershighkick whoops! Too late paid for it now! But hopefully your advice will help someone else.

I've had my VidB12 checked late last year and it was ok, but not vit D. Although have taken mega supplements of Vid D for years, as I suffer from SAD.

I can cope with everything, even the 2 hours sleep a night, but this aching ... nope can't live like this. Sometimes I have to crawl up the stairs, usually if I haven't exercised that day.

Anyway. Onward and upwards :)

Thanks again vipers for all your comments, can't tell you how supported it makes me feel.

It's such a lonely journey, and so different for everyone.

@DramaAlpaca, ah that's interesting! Thought we were over the worst and BOOM aching joints! Let us know what GP says.

How's your sleep?

@Laeta actually my sleep is good, or it has been since the night sweats stopped. Fingers crossed it stays that way.

My sister was the same as you... her joints were failing so she needed hrt
She also put on a little weight which seemed to help as she was very thin

Estrogen is created in adipose or fat tissue... so if you have none, you're going to have even less

Might be worth checking for polymialgia too op.

Laeta,
I am you!!
All your thoughts are mine!!
Your aches are mine!
My exercise is same as yours!
I am hoping I can't feel like this forever - but I have considered the path you are starting. Having a totally useless, unhelpful doctors clinic has put me off (I can't afford private)
Good luck xx

Please don’t give up, I was exactly like you. I’m 57 have three grown stapling lads 6 grandchildren and a wonderful husband.
So right life should have been great... hell no! No one could look at me without me shouting showing off or crying. The. I’d feel terrible because I’m suppose to be stronger always use to be.
But how to do explain to a man.. that you body feels like an alien has gotten to it, no sleep, or just a few hrs, no sex drive, feels of worthlessness as you feel no wear near as attractive as you was.
My middle now resembles some sort of beach ball and I felt that I was watching myself through a mirror and couldn’t stop the crap from happening.
Flushes that had me taking off putting on I resembled some sort of shop dummy. Then just to top it all joint pain .. bloody hell Chuck the kitchen sink at me.
But now I’ve listed all my woes.. I went to HRT and thank someone somewhere it went away, I can sleep, my joints feel so much better and my family no longer wish I lived in Outer Mongolia.
Please go to your doctor and tell them how bad you feel and hopefully within a couple of weeks you’ll fine slightly normal again.

It's hardly 'throwing in the towel' , you're not 'giving in'. You've identified your deteriorating health is possibly due to a decline in hormones and instead of masking that with supplements (at great expense) you're going to address the actual cause of the problem. Sounds more like 'taking control' to me.

@mrsrobin I think many of us are feeling the same woes!!!

Anyway thanks to POs who suggested that I may have under active thyroid, well the results came back yesterday and .... drum roll ... I'm healthier than a healthy thing!

Which is amazing great news of course, but very slightly disappointed that my middle aged spread is really all my fault! ;)

So because I happen to have a wee bit saved away I splashed out on the Advanced thyroid function test, which as I said was really good. It also checked iron, autoimmunity and vitamins.

B12 and Vid D were almost as high as they could be (I take supplements) but strangely my folate levels were low. Which is another name for folic acid!

On googling folate and menopause I came across the results of a small study.

Conclusion: The results of the present study indicated that folic acid was effective in reducing the severity, duration, and frequency of hot flashes during menopause. Therefore, it can be recommended as an affordable and accessible method for treating menopausal hot flash for women.

Although I don't get hot flushes and I've ordered some folate and iron tablets as my iron levels were the lower end of the normal range so they recommended over the counter lysine supplements. So yup, ordered them too.

I have soooooo many supplements now!

So all in all good news but the stiffness is not getting any better, in fact I would say it's worse.

Am waiting results for some other blood tests, a PP recommend thriva!