How long does this madness last?

[ClawedButler]

It's a design fault, surely. It can't be right that most women will lose their minds, become hateful sweatty red spotty lunatics, get fat, weep over stupid adverts, have a fuse shorter than a mouse's tampon and feel their bones crumble to dust, for years.

This is properly shit. Symptoms started around age 41, now 46 and no sign of it ever coming to an end. Been on HRT for 3 years which has made the night sweats better and the mood swings less wild, but it's still fucking rubbish. And then you get some bastard breezily announcing, "Oh I just sailed through my menopause" but for some reason you are not allowed to bite these people.

Yes I know I'm being irrational and ranty. Has anyone had a really shit time of it but come through the other side? I really need to hear some positive experiences to cling to!

I've got a Mirena coil and touch wood, I've not actually noticed any symptoms (I'm 50). However, when my last Mirena was due to be changed, I had gone to our GP as I was feeling very low, tearful, and felt as if something awful was about to happen and was incredibly irritable with DH.... to the point I think he feared for his life. Once I'd had a coil change, within months I felt a lot better and haven't really noticed anything else.

Apparently I can have this one in for 7 years and it should see me past the menopause. I still have regular periods but thanks to the coil they're light and manageable. One thing I have noticed though is that my leg hair seems to grow a hell of a lot less so I do think some changes are happening - and being dark haired, that's a bonus!

I hope things get better for you soon.

Op, can't give you a positive story I'm afraid as I'm in the same boat.

My symptoms started at 34, hot flushes then cold flushes, waking 10 times a night every night for 12+ years, confusion and no focus. My brain is mush and memory so bad I would do the shopping, drive 3 mile home and totally forget I'd bought anything. Find them 4 days later still in the boot. For years Gp said nothing wrong with me, then I was told had early dementia.

Through menopause at 43, now nearly 46 and on Hrt for just over 3 months. Oh and the rage, I've always had a quick temper but this is something else. And the nurse who told me she breezed through hers, I felt like bloody choking her.

This was all clearly designed by a man.

Im 43 and started noticing symptoms in the last two years.

I am on low dose pill & it’s helping with the sweats & anxiety.

Im after putting on a lot of weight around my tummy and get really really bone aching tired at times.

I literally have to sit or lie down for a while until I can muster up enough energy to get through the rest of the day.
Fun times !

Started at 43, got gradually worse, 3 years of hell in the height of peri. Got gradually a bit better when started the full menopause.

3 years later, I have the very occasional, 2 week period when I feel almost back to normal and think 'thats it, I'm on the other side' and then he hits me again. Currently in a very bad phase, going on for over 4 weeks, I want it over, now!

I hear you! I got depressed and as self-harmy as when I was a teenager. Stopped sleeping, got ugly, cried a lot and thought no-one liked me. It was really really bad. I was put on anti-depressants which didn't work and finally on the right HRT, Im almost off it now and I feel really good, have lost weight and feel confident. There is a way through but its taken some years. It will pass. Ive never heard anyone say it lasts forever

as I was feeling very low, tearful, and felt as if something awful was about to happen and was incredibly irritable with DH.... to the point I think he feared for his life

God I really relate to this - I’m 40 and reading this I think I must’ve started “the change” too. I want to throttle dh about 90% of the time and have taken to just going upstairs to read/mumsnet of an evening because I feel like I can’t handle being around anyone. Also waking up In the night, no energy really bad anxiety/panic attack type symptoms. I thought I was just a bit depressed with lockdown but maybe not..