Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Menopause

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Does it get better (eventually)?

17 replies

Daphnesmate04 · 15/01/2021 17:51

Horrible, horrible perimenopause, irritability off the scale.

I can't take HRT. Muddling through with vitamins etc. Can I ask do things settle down eventually? I'm not really talking about physical symptoms, I'm talking about anxiety, insomnia and irritability etc.

Anyone?

OP posts:
Kittytheteapot · 15/01/2021 17:57

Yes, I think so. I am 6 years post menopausal and, although I had more physical symptoms in the perimenopause stage, rather than those you describe, I did experience irritability and a lessening of mental powers, e.g. forgetting words, becoming less able to be decisive, just woolly thinking generally. I think those symptoms have lessened and I have a new optimism for the future which wasn't there previously.

As for sleep, I have never had insomnia as such but my need for sleep has lessened considerably. I think that is par for the course.

Take time for yourself. I know that is such a cliche, but seriously, you need to focus a bit of love and care on yourself, it really does help.

Daphnesmate04 · 15/01/2021 18:59

Thanks Kitty. Yes, I'm gradually improving my self care. I still have young children so it's incredibly hard - my teen is so much easier in comparison, I can just walk away if need be.

I can completely understand the foggy brain thing. I have a few projects underway and used to be quite sharp...it's good to hear this has improved for you (and hopefully for me too).

OP posts:
JinglingHellsBells · 15/01/2021 19:18

If you have a history of cancer which means you can't use HRT, your GP ought to refer you to a specialist.

They will suggest other medications which are suitable for women with a history that means they can't use HRT.

Has your GP suggested this/ have you asked/ are you able to see a meno specialist privately? (You don't need referrals these days.)

dingledongle · 15/01/2021 19:24

Thanks for posting this op, I need reassurance that, in time, there is light at the end of the tunnel! Smile

Daphnesmate04 · 15/01/2021 19:27

No, it's not cancer Jingling. It didn't agree with me and I am loathe to try anything else. It's just a no go for me.

OP posts:
JinglingHellsBells · 15/01/2021 19:50

We may have 'spoken ' here before- not sure- but if you've not tried most forms of HRT I think you are missing a trick :)

A lot of women come along here and say it doesn't suit them and they have tried one or two types, often the ones that are known to cause low mood etc.

If you were to see a specialist they would sort out something that was individualised for you. For example I use 'normal ' HRT ( Oestrogel and Utrogestan) but on the advice of a consultant I use the Utrogestan vaginally (fewer side effects) and also less often than is licensed ( as consultant is a top expert and privately, he can prescribe off-label.)

I honestly do believe that if you try other sorts you may well find something that works.

I'm sorry to give you a downer, but after 12 years on HRT and feeling great, I gave it up for a month to see how I was, and the insomnia and night sweats came back. My Mum still had then in her 80s so time is not always kind in this respect.

Daphnesmate04 · 15/01/2021 21:55

The insomnia I can sort of deal with through other paths, not suffering sweats at the moment, so if they don't present in a large way, it's the irritability which is my biggest concern. Without periods and associated fluctuations, would this continue?

OP posts:
JinglingHellsBells · 16/01/2021 08:06

My dr regards insomnia as a big issue in itself because lack of sleep ruins the immune system and also affects blood sugar etc - which in turn can lead to diabetes. Insomnia has short and long term health consequences. This is from the Mayo clinic on chronic insomnia:
Complications of insomnia may include:

-Lower performance on the job or at school
-Slowed reaction time while driving and a higher risk of accidents
-Mental health disorders, such as depression, an anxiety disorder or substance abuse
-Increased risk and severity of long-term diseases or conditions, such as high blood pressure and heart disease

Without periods and associated fluctuations, would this continue?

IME, yes. It's loss of estrogen that causes the symptoms, not simply the fluctuation. My symptoms didn't start until my periods were more or less over, at 53.

Just as an example of how a specialist who really understands HRT can help- I was started on estrogen-only for 2 months, to get the dose right. Then I added in a short course of progesterone to initiate a bleed, which is necessary until you are 12 months post menopause.
I then went onto what they call 'long cycle' HRT which means the progesterone phase is not as often as every 4th week, but it's also being monitored.

Your average GP is not able to offer these options - no training and can't work outside the licensed regimes.

Obviously some women are fine on a pack of tablets, like Femoston, or a patch and progesterone.

But all I'm saying is that if you found something didn't suit you, there are many ways of tweaking the dose and the kinds of products, and often women don't appreciate this is possible.

Bmidreams · 16/01/2021 08:13

How much does this private service cost?

JinglingHellsBells · 16/01/2021 08:35

@Bmidreams

How much does this private service cost?
Most consultants have their fees on their websites.

A first consultation which can last an hour is between £250-£300 usually. A 2nd consultation is less- they are usually 3 or 6 months later. After that it's often annually, or the consultant may write to your GP and you get repeat prescriptions that way.

Private health insurance doesn't cover menopause but it will usually cover an investigation of symptoms (ie heavy periods, anxiety etc) but once menopause is diagnosed, they won't pay long term.

dontdisturbmenow · 17/01/2021 17:50

The peri was MUCH MUCH worse for me than the actual menopause.

The perimenopause was hell, hrt didn't help at all and actually made me feel worse.

Since being officially in the menopause, 2 1/2 years ago, I have gradually started to feel better and ai have many more good weeks than bad.

Sweats are almost completely gone, anxious feelings are now uncommon, mood is stable. I still don't sleep as well as I used to but each month gets better.

I take vit D and B12 and magnesium there and then. I also take melatonin at night.

dingledongle · 17/01/2021 18:20

donordisturbmenow it sounds like a gradual improvement as your body gets used to the changes.

Can I ask what is was about HRT that you did not get on with? Smile

dontdisturbmenow · 18/01/2021 13:12

The progesterone made me feel very depressed, agressive, bloated and miserable and the oestrogen didn't really help with my symptoms, mainly the poor sleep, but also lighheadness, very low BP and resting heart rate, tinnitus, anxiety, if anything the symptoms were worse on it.

Daphnesmate04 · 18/01/2021 19:08

That's what I was hoping to hear dontdisturbmenow.

I think it has to be accepted that hrt isn't for everyone. Yes, a lot of women benefit from it but not one treatment suits all.

Melatonin is something I haven't tried.

OP posts:
Shrillharridan · 18/01/2021 19:33

Absolutely daphne
I have tried it all. For nearly a decade, including an endometrial ablation in 2018.
Hrt in tablet, gel and patch form. Mirena coil.
Nothing worked.
I now take b vits, magnesium and potassium. I don't take calcium but should.
I ended up with contact dermatitis from the patches. Very nasty. Not that you could get them anyway at one point. The tablets made me very ill. Monthly really dangerous migraines. The gel was OK I suppose (its very easy to use and convenient) but they couldn't px anything to use with it to deal my progesterone intolerance (took my a while figure out that was an issue...)
I've now been menstruating for nearly 40 years 😳
On the plus side, I read a article that said if you menstruate for 40 years + you are less likely to develop dementia...
I've used melatonin and it can help you get to sleep but it won't help you stay asleep.
Fact is, we just need less sleep as we age. Annoying but true.
I don't drink alcohol. Never smoked but perfecting my scone recipe in lockdown and associated weight gain 😬
Yoga is great ime and some people swear by cutting out sugar.
Good luck x

Shrillharridan · 18/01/2021 19:34

Oh and vit d and a supplement to help my eyes but I have a macula condition

Iwant2move · 18/01/2021 19:40

I hope so. I used to have such awful mood swings... full on rage, and I hated it.
I'm quite chilled out these days. Have the occasional flip when I want to commit GBH but that's due to personal circumstances. I'm not officially menopausal yet (not long to go). I do have shit for brains though.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page