Looking for a bit of advice from anyone with experience of depression in (what is presumed to be) peri-menopause, please🙏🏼. I apologise in advance that this is very long. 😑
I suffered with bad depression in my teens linked to severe trauma but through therapy and total fear of prescription drugs (🥺) I stayed off them. I've battled all through my adult life with bouts of depression but I've always been too afraid to go down the pharmaceutical route. However 10 days ago, after two truly horrific weeks of a return to the darkest thoughts and a complete inability to cope which swamped me, I ended up breaking down in floods in front of my GP who subsequently issued me with a prescription for Fluoxetine and sleeping tablets. Despite my desperation, my fear of taking the drugs reared up again as soon as I had them in my hand. I decided to wait until a massive work deadline was completed before taking a chance on feeling worse before I felt better- (thanks to MN research, I knew this was a possibility).
The thing is, that in the last few days I feel like there's been a definite improvement in my mood (- this happened even before the massive deadline arrived!) I honestly feel ok. The thing is, whilst I feel better right now, I've come to notice a pattern where for about seven to ten days of the month I'm fine and then it's a fairly rapid descent back to the blackness. Once I'm there, I feel utterly lost again.
I have been like this for months but it seems like every time I dip, I end up further down- and I never want to get to the point I reached as a teenager again. However, because I really feel better this past few days, I don't know if it was just a phase so I don't know what to do about the ADs. If I start taking them, I realise it could still be a month before they take effect but do I really need them if I feel this ok in between? I guess I'm asking any of you who have knowledge/ experience WWYD?
God, if you made it all the way to the end of this mindless ramble, you deserve a bloody medal!
Thanks for reading.