I think I'm in peri. It's hell. What are my options?

[WhereAreWeNow]

I'm 44. I've always had bad (heavy and painful periods) and my PMS has been getting worse over a number of years but it's now just totally out of control.
I'm exhausted, achey, and I have terrible insomnia for 2 weeks before my period,.
I'm so irritable, tearful and angry for a good two weeks before my period - I veer between depressed and raging. I'm horrible to be around.
My periods are still regular but increasingly heavy and painful.
I can't concentrate and I have the worst memory.
I've also had a lot of joint pain. I had been worried that I have osteoarthritis but I'm now wondering if it's another symptom of perimenopause.

So the first question is, does this sound like perimenopause?
Second question is what can I do about it?

I've got a GP appointment (phone) on Friday. What should I be asking for? I'm scared of HRT because of cancer risk.

TIA

@JinglingHellsBells just had terrible PMDD with doom. No other peri symptoms. It’s routinely prescribed for that, but just for last 14 days of cycle. It’s worked really well

What I don’t understand is why interfere when it’s Mother Nature’s way of saying ok you’re done you’ve had your child bearing years time for the next chapter! Aren’t we going against what is essentially a natural process like when we started having periods. I know some people really suffer but to replace hormones that are naturally declining seems counterintuitive.

What I don’t understand is why interfere when it’s Mother Nature’s way of saying ok you’re done you’ve had your child bearing years time for the next chapter! Aren’t we going against what is essentially a natural process like when we started having periods.

Are you menopausal or in peri yourself @Whyisitsodifficult ?

'Mother nature' gives people all sorts- heart disease, cancer, Covid, ...are you against vaccines and treatment per se?

Lack of estrogen gives women heart disease at the same level as men, osteoporosis, dementia (so they believe now), etc.

And not that many centuries ago women died a few years after menopause- life expectancy was very low- either from diseases, or in childbirth.

Now, women have 30+ years of life in an estrogen-deficient state and they suffer long term chronic health for a lot of that time.

What jingle says ^^

Osteoporosis, weak heart, loss of vaginal lubrication is ‘natural’ but I prefer to put it off for a while!

You are in Peri from mid 40s on. Every single woman is. It’s the natural loss of oestrogen. You can’t skip it by a good diet or whatever it’s happening anyway. You can reduce symptoms with great health but the loss of oestrogen will be affecting your heart and bones inside you. So worth reading up on this as so few women understand what’s happening at this age.

I’m 44, have regular periods and have been on hrt for 6 months now.

All my symptoms were similar to yours op.
I’m feeling much better.

@Whyisitsodifficult

What I don’t understand is why interfere when it’s Mother Nature’s way of saying ok you’re done you’ve had your child bearing years time for the next chapter! Aren’t we going against what is essentially a natural process like when we started having periods. I know some people really suffer but to replace hormones that are naturally declining seems counterintuitive.

Not quite there yet then are we?

Or you're a man

I really recommend getting some black cohosh tablets. They're amazing for PMT.

I wasn't sure about them when they were recommended to me. But I can really, really tell the difference.

@Wishingforanotherlife for a moment, I thought your post was going to be about some amazing psychoactive herbs that cured all your symptoms, which you discovered whilst travelling in South America!!!

I'm waiting to see a GP as well. It's a miserable time. My pals sent me one of those home menopause tests as a birthday joke (we have that kind of friendship) which I took as a laugh. It wasn't funny to see 2 lines even if they aren't reliable tests. But it's spurred me on to try and get to see a doctor. I'd rather put this fucker off for a bit if I can.

What are the symptoms of being in Peru?

Attitude sickness
Becoming a drama llama
You Maya embarrass your children by taking up the panpipes

Er...

I think I’ve been in peri menopause since about 40 (7 years). I’ve had a Mirena for nearly 5 years, so for all I know I’m menopausal now.

I’ve had no end of shit with my hormones since I was 13. It’s hell being a woman.

My mother in law (whom I have a very good relationship with), smugly tells me that she never used HRT, that she ‘just got on with it’.
As if somehow it was an accomplishment on her part.
She is and was a very angry explosive woman who made her own and her dh and ds’s life miserable

It’s ok to seek help. You shouldn’t have to suffer.

Oh and if you’re lucky enough to not experience any symptoms then I’m very happy for you!!

I’m unclear of why you would find find it necessary to post on this thread though.

Oh Christ, my mother “just got on with it” with everything in life, while whinging ENDLESSLY. I’ll never be as good as her. Yep, have a fucking medal.

My PMT has been helped by taking a good quality Evening Primrose Oil.
I was taking the Tesco ones which were useless, but swapping made a noticeable difference.

@hippospot

I had hideous hideous PMS (I really believe it was PMDD) for half the month and it was getting worse and worse in my early to mid 40s. I took HRT (oestrogel, androfeme and utrogestan - the latter for part of the month). I felt amazing on the days I was taking the first two, but the PMS was just as terrible as soon as utrogestan was in the mix.

I went private for the above btw. My GP was clueless about all things hormonal.

My PMS was definitely caused by high sensitivity to progesterone. Disclaimer: I don't know if this is the case for every woman who has PMS.

In the end after trying lots of different combinations, doses and timings for three years I admitted defeat and had a hysterectomy at 46. I now take the first two and can safely avoid the utrogestan. I feel tons better.

hippospot, can I ask whether you also had to go private to have a hysterectomy?

I'm horrendous on any progesterone. The GP knows this but I've now been given a mirena and oestrogen gel. Had mirena before and bled heavily constantly for 6 months and thought I was going insane! 48 now and still regular but extremely heavy periods. I have a condition that causes bleeding, but its not a gynea condition. Horrendous PMT for a few days, now fear a few days will now be my new normal. GP won't refer me to gynecology. I feel like I'm just being given standard issue regardless of whether its right for me. Thinking I might have to just go private, but if I did, can I then get refered back to NHS for hysterectomy?

The ‘I just sailed through it’ is a funny one. A lovely friend in her late 50s says this and she has shocking memory now. Her mum had osteoporosis so she also doesn’t know yet what might be. Oestrogen is a treatment for osteoporosis but by that point it can be a bit late

@MiniTheMinx Yes I went private for both PMS/menopause clinic (Studd Clinic in London) then for surgery.

I figured it was cheaper in the long run than a divorce :)

I really don't mean to sound flippant btw - my PMS was having a huge effect on the whole family esp my poor lovely husband.

I also suffered with heavy bleeding and this caused me to be low in ferritin (dizzy spells, lack of energy). Bupa approved the hysterectomy for this as PMS isn't even accepted by them as a reason for hysterectomy as far as I can tell

PMS/PMDD aren't really understood or taken seriously in my opinion. And as someone else said, it isn't necessarily the young or female GPs who have a better understanding of female hormones.

@MiniTheMinx I also didn't react well to the Mirena. I lasted a month and asked for it to be removed. Constant bleed and constant PMS. To be fair maybe I should have tried for longer but I was at breaking point (and didn't even need a contraceptive as DH had vasectomy).

Reading some of these posts made me go and look up PMDD and I tick all the boxes. Now I don't know if I'm asking the GP for help with PMDD or with peri or both .

@WhereAreWeNow in my experience PMDD got noticeably worse in the peri years, so really it's hard to separate the two.

@JinglingHellsBells my post wasn’t a criticism in anyway it’s a general pondering! You can’t compare getting cancer or Covid to menopause. The fact is all women will go through the menopause it’s inevitable like dying, cancer or Covid isn’t! I’m genuinely questioning whether it’s necessary to replace hormones that are naturally declining anyway. Yes to managing the symptoms but maybe not with hrt.

Yes I’m female, 46 and definitely peri! No I’m not anti vax either! Maybe my own stance comes from my mother dying from breast cancer which was an oestrogen fed cancer from hrt when she was in her forties.

I've just spoken to the GP.

10 mins on the phone isn't really time to cover it all but she was very sympathetic. Her first suggestion was either anti-depressants for the 2 weeks before my period or the pill (microgynon). I asked her about HRT and she said we could consider that too. She's suggested I go away to think about it.

She said HRT carried an increased risk of breast cancer but that the risk only kicked in after taking it for 5 years.

So I haven't made any progress really but I'm glad the GP was willing to explore options. I thought she might just say no to HRT.

@Whyisitsodifficult I'm really sorry about your mother. It makes perfect sense for you to be cautious about HRT given your experience. I think these are all valid questions. I'm trying to weigh all this stuff up too.

Why do they always push anti depressants first? The go away and think about it gets right on my nerves as well. Like we don't think about it in depth before we ring them?!

I know @gamerchick - I was a bit surprised that anti depressants were the first thing she offered. But to be fair, I do want a bit more time to think about it. I'm still really confused about the different pros and cons of the pill and HRT and want to really know what I'm doing before I start any treatment. I'd rather have a few more days to read up/mull it over.