over riding tiredness, very low mood, and no memory and no motivation

[walkingmakesyouhappy1234]

I'm feeling ridiculous even writing this but I'm lost and want some kind of confirmation that these symptoms will go away ! I'm 51been on HRT for nearly 2 years - recently upped oestrogen to 2mg (Sandrema sachets) take utrogestron days 15-26. I'm peri as still having periods though erratically ! My dad died in August at a good age of 83 and he said he wanted too die as very little quality of life but I just keep thinking I should have seen him more over the years - I feel so hopeless that he had to be in hospital alone for 3 week and a nursing home for 2 weeks in isolation because of the current pandemic and his health really deteriorated. When we finally saw him it was his last days and he had faded to nothing, we got to say good bye but it hasn't helped. I work in hospitality so my business is pretty much destroyed for now but im not the main bread winner so not too concerned financially but feeling hopeless at that too and trying too scrape by with bits and pieces of work but I can't get my head around it even when its there- I feel overwhelmed by it and can't summon up the energy. I try to eat healthy, and walk my dog for exercise which does make me feel better but after eating I just feel extemely tired - actually falling asleep tired and sometimes I feel dizzy too. I often feel ok for a few hours then feel like whack flat as a pancake. I can't remember simple things like names and what I've gone in to a room to look for ! I worry then that im forgetting something important. I have tried CBT and been diagnosed via counsellor with low mood / low level depression which we're working on this helps but as its private it is expensive so can't do too regularly whilst hardly earning. My husband is great but I don't want to tell him too much as I don't want to drag him down, kids are good too so no reason to feel like this. I just want to feel me again - I hate feeling like this mess its not my normal demeanour ! I really don't want to take ADs. Does anyone else feel like this - any ideas?

I am so sorry to hear of the tough time you’ve had, definitely don’t underestimate the amount of stress and trauma you’ve gone through recently. It’s a lot for a person to take on and deal with in such a short space of time and would be abnormal to feel like nothing is effecting you. It’s only normal and you will feel like yourself again. Working through things via CBT will help for sure and it’s great you’re able to do that Whilst you’ve got so much going on as it doesn’t leave it building up.

Stress can effect memory and if you’re dealing with emotions it can be sooo very draining.
Given you’re early menopause Have you tried supplementing your diet with minerals and vitamins you may need? Vitamin D is great for mood, immune and most of us are deficient this time of year. Things like omegas are great for memory, things like bvitamins are beneficial and magnesium too. There are natural remedies for mood boosters such as St. John’s wort if you don’t want to go down the AD route. It’s understandable if you want to try other avenues first.

Have you had a blood test done to check your minerals etc. I tend to use medichecks.com/ they’re great and have had a variety from them including hormone check.

Thanks BF2748 for your kind words and advice. I take a vitamin supplement aimed at meno that has vit Bs D omegas and I take turmeric and at njght calcium magnesium and zinc. Will ask GP for blood check as wonder about iron as I don’t eat meat. I’m just impatient Uk feel normal again

OP, so sorry you're in this tough place. My HRT doctor also has me on testosterone gel, which peps you up mentally. Might be worth a try. I've been feeling better since starting a biggish dose of vit D, but I see you're getting that. Have you had thyroid checked?

I think this is grief.I too lost my df at 51 a few years ago and all I did was work and sleep my days off as I too work in hospitality and was doing 55 hour weeks.Look after yourself and week for week you will start to feel better.So sorry you couldn't see your df too much due to the restrictions.This is heart breaking.

Hi there, I feel like crying reading your post.I too am 51and have suffered on and off with anxiety and depression over the years. My mum died a month ago at 89 with dementia and my dad is suffering but also phoning me and complaining which is normal but is hard for me. I organized the funeral and thought I was doing okay but the last couple of weeks my anxiety has went through the roof. I am now worried about everything to the point of hopelessness. I wonder if this is partially due to the menopause. I like you don't want to drag my husband and kids down but I feel desperate at times. I know I'm babbling on but your post struck a cord with me.

Thanks everyone, sending bug hugs too you all too, it really cheered me up. I know i'm not alone in feeling this way but just really want to feel my old self again - I bought some floradix today in the hope it might pep me up !

It sounds to me like an underactive thyroid.
I felt exhausted, my memory was like a sieve and I dreamed of getting back into bed after I’d been up for an hour.
I now take 100 m of thyroxine a day and feel good as new (and don’t leave my bag on the train, forget to pass on every message, only remember to buy half the things on the shopping list etc )