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Menopause

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Original poster

Please don’t flame of this has been asked before ...

25 replies

Lanbury · 02/09/2020 19:39

Sorry... I’ll apologise first... I am literally on my knees and dont know if I should be posting on mental health page. I’ve not posted here before. I’m 49 and very definitely peri I’m confused and vulnerable . I dont even know who I am... I’m not even sure what I’m asking?? I have huge anxiety (nobody would even believe this as this is not how I’m perceived) I feel like I have constant PMT. i actually don’t know if it is peri or I have gone mad? I’ve even had suicidal thoughts and I don’t know why. Desperate or wouldn’t ask Sad

OP posts:
slightchill · 02/09/2020 19:42

Sorry you are feeling so dreadful op.

Just like pregnancy , menopause can really play havoc with your hormones but you need to get yourself to a sympathetic and knowledge doctor. Tell them everything you have written here Flowers

slightchill · 02/09/2020 19:44

And no need to apologise. Post-natal depression is a serious illness, and menopause can cause similar changes.

FrolickingLemon · 02/09/2020 19:46

Gosh, OP. Please get in touch with your GP ASAP. I'm perimenopausal. I don't have anxiety, it isn't one of my symptoms, but antidepressants was the first thing my GP was wanting to prescribe me. Sounds like it is something you need. This is urgent. Ring the surgery in the morning and make it known that you are desperate. Good luck x

toomanyspiderplants · 02/09/2020 19:49

Please phone your drs asap....so sorry you feel this way Flowers

EttaKett · 02/09/2020 19:52

Another vote for the GP. Perimenopause can do all sorts of awful things to women. At the point at which it gave me non-stop periods (light, but all the sodding time), I went to the GP. I said I was absolutely definitely not having HRT, but that went the same way as not using dummies, reins, and all the other good intentions in my life.

I now feel more or less normal, and am not having endless periods.

JoeWicksSurvivor · 02/09/2020 20:03

Mine started at similar age with horrendous anxiety. Something I’d never ever experienced before and was quite frightening. Simple decisions just seemed completely overwhelming. I also had occasional red mist where I would flip into anger in a millisecond usually directed at my poor DH.
After googling menopause symptoms and ticking boxes I actually found it easier to cope with. I began to realise that I wasn’t going mad but could pin the ‘behaviour’ on being peri menopausal and that made it easier to deal with.
It goes in waves with less and less bad times now so please don’t despair. Sending huge hugs.

Original poster
Lanbury · 02/09/2020 20:06

Thank you! You’ve literally reduced me to tears knowing I’m not alone Flowers thank you so much xxxxx

OP posts:
EttaKett · 02/09/2020 20:15

Oh OP. 💐 You are absolutely not alone. I was talking about this very thing last night with two of my friends who are also enduring it. Our symptoms are not all the same, but there are various points of overlap. Forgetfulness, depression, unreasonable anger, weird periods which used to be predictable, changes in body shape, dreams about needing the loo (!!)

I initially thought my own peri symptoms were a massive mid-life crisis.

It is not easy.

SummerSnapdragon · 02/09/2020 20:24

I was diagnosed with anxiety at your age and put on beta blockers- totally useless of course- make them check your hormones, HRT proved amazing for me I was a different person after x

JamieLeeCurtains · 02/09/2020 20:32

Oh OP Flowers you are so very much not alone and with friends. I would very much encourage you to ask for HRT (patches and gels are pretty safe), and read the latest NICE guidelines.

Don't be fobbed off with a blood test. They're for women under 45 who would be 'early menopause' but a lot of doctors haven't absorbed this yet.

You'll need to answer questions about your periods, and symptoms, but I would ask for HRT and give it a go before trying anything else.

Oblomov20 · 02/09/2020 20:41

I can't decide if I want HRT. My periods stopped nearly a year ago. For the last 4 months I felt very ill, feeling sick often, so angry, tearful all the time, in such a state hormonally I'm all over the place.

Abraid2 · 02/09/2020 20:47

If I had my time again I would have started HRT in perimenopause instead of waiting until I was postmenopausal. My emotions haven’t been too bad but why suffer if you don’t have to? Anxiety can be reduced by HRT.

If you google Dr Louise Newson you’ll find lots of information about why you’re feeling like this and what can help. She’s on Instagram too.

JoeWicksSurvivor · 02/09/2020 20:49

I’ve not felt the need to ask for HRT but a good friend has benefitted massively. Do whatever feels right for you but please be assured that you are not alone. There are loads of us going through this.

Craftycorvid · 02/09/2020 20:57

Big hand hold. There is life on the other side 🌺. Acupuncture helped for me with anxiety.

Original poster
Lanbury · 03/09/2020 08:15

Thank you so much. I am literally overwhelmed with your kindness Flowers it is a huge relief to know that I’m not alone.

OP posts:
whatisforteamum · 03/09/2020 18:12

Honestly you are not alone OP.I was you a year ago and symptoms started with anxiety around three years ago.I was fobbed off with ADs which I didn't take and anxiety.Then last yr I was prescribed HRT.patches at first now gel and pills.The person I am now is me again.Happy smiley and much more co fident.You are not going mad and this isn't permanent.something i wish I knew last year.Good luck.😊

Aquamarine1029 · 03/09/2020 18:19

Op, my peri started at 43, and along with the other typical symptoms like hot flushes, horrible irregular periods, night sweats, etc, I had horrific, crippling anxiety. It was like getting hit by lightening and I had never had anxiety issues before. I honestly thought I was going insane and thought my life was over. Truly, this is how I felt. Having never experienced anxiety I was terrified, and I was having at least 5 to 6 panic attacks a day.

Luckily, I realised after just a few months that it was just my hormones. I saw a specialist and got on HRT. The difference for almost immediate. Within just 2 days my anxiety was completely gone and I felt like my old self. My other symptoms were gone within a week to 10 days. HRT literally saved me. I'm 47 now and life is fabulous!

Please, please see a specialist as soon as possible. There is no reason on earth to suffer the way you have been.

Scratchyback · 04/09/2020 16:01

Hi op - for me the physical symptoms of peri (tingling hands and feet, dry mouth etc) we’re very similar to the feelings of panic you’d get, say, if you were about to fall from a height, if that makes sense. In other words, the two can get mixed up in your head so you think there’s really something to be anxious and jittery about, when they’re only symptoms of menopause. (I don’t mean “only” like it’s nothing though, believe me!!) I don’t know if I’m explaining myself very well but in other words, it’s not a mental thing but symptoms of a physical thing. Tackle it like you would any medical issue. I found supplements like magnesium helped to relax me (dunno if that was placebo but it helped I think) and once I didn’t think I was genuinely going mad, I could cope with it better. Your hormones are nose diving and this is the result, unfortunately. As others have said, see your GP, see if a supplement or HRT will take the edge off the anxiety. It will pass though and you’re not alone. It’s a weird time. Best wishes op x

Original poster
Lanbury · 04/09/2020 16:09

Really appreciate everyone taking the time to reply and for your support and great advice. Thank you so much Flowers

OP posts:
DianasLasso · 04/09/2020 16:17

Hugs OP - it can be so hard.

My mum had a horrendous menopause - depression and full-on paranoia! I always swore I'd head straight for hrt at the first symptoms, and it's been brilliant for me. (Try that first before anti depressants - NICE recommends hrt as the first line of treatment.)

LizB62A · 04/09/2020 18:57

Crushing anxiety & brain fog here - to the extent that I keep thinking I'll end up losing my job....
HRT has helped a bit but I have times I still struggle to keep focussed

LizB62A · 04/09/2020 18:58

Oh and dry mouth - I've found sea buckthorn oil capsules have really helped with the dry mouth
Good luck.

papooshka · 08/09/2020 17:24

Was also going to say look up Dr Louise Newson. Heres her website. Loads of info and you'll realise you're not alone and don't need to suffer. www.menopausedoctor.co.uk/
She has info you can print out and show your GP if you are not getting anywhere with them.

eaudenil · 27/09/2020 14:25

@Lanbury I could have written your post! I’m also suffering terribly from low mood, sense of hopelessness, mixed with insane rage certain times of the month and last night after a particularly bad moment a feeling I should just disappear and it would be better for everyone. Thank you for your post, it’s helped to read the advice. Wishing you all the best, I truly sympathize, this is awful. I have no “typical” symptoms (hot flushes, sleeplessness, irregular periods) so didn’t even think about Menopause until v recently. I really hope you are able to get help xxxx

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