Peri or not?

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Hi there
It is at the advice from another MN thread that I am writing here.

I’m in a pretty sorry state. I’m 43 and for the last couple of years I’ve steadily been feeling more and more anxious, down and cry at the slightest thing.

I feel like I’m going to lose my job any minute, I’m good for nothing and will end any type of employment in my mid forties because I am useless. I should add I’ve had no feedback or evidence to suggest any of this, but I believe it.

I have a few days a month where I have the strength to try to ‘quieten’ my thoughts, but I mostly obsess and catastrophise. It got so bad a couple of weeks ago that I called a mental health helpline because I am beginning to ruin my personal relationships.

They referred me to a counsellor who suggested I get checked for peri menopause, the other symptoms I have are the in recent months I’m getting my period every two weeks, though it is much lighter. I am also tired a lot, have spells of not being able to concentrate and have sore wrists and gums.

I called my GP who said I was a bit young but she will door a pelvic floor examination and then take my bloods on the first day of my period- though it may be difficult to know when my next one will be! She then said ‘we can get you on the meds after that’. She suggested I was down because of COVID, thinking ADs would maybe be a first option. I do not want that and my symptoms existed long before COVID. I also read that NICE guidelines say ADs are not good if the issues are hormonal.

I’m scared because my GP sounded impatient and dismissive, almost like she’s already decided it’s all in my head. Do I have a right to ask for a referral to a menopause clinic? My GP is shortly retiring too so it may be she’s not that interested.

I do know I can’t carry on like this, my ‘time of the month’ seems pretty much permanent with low moods and feeling desperate. I am in no position to give up my work but frequently feel like I want to walk out but that would be terrible. I do also work in a toxic environment but I am usually able to handle stuff better.

Sorry for the ramble, not really sure what to do or what my rights are In terms of assessment etc. Any help appreciated.

Ps- I should add that I’ve started to take starflower oil and CBD oil as was told they will help. I do also take calcium and magnesium. It my just be in my mind but I’ve seen a slight improvement since taking the starflower oil and just been taking CBD oil for 4 days but again maybe a slight improvement in terms of my having a little bit more strength to try and stop/slow catastrophic thinking.

The CBD oil bought in shops is an utter waste of time and has hardly any of the stuff you need in it. Don’t waste your money.
I felt exactly like you and carried on another 4 years until the brain fog was getting so bad it really was affecting my job and life along with very poor sleep.
I’ve been in HRT for 4 weeks and change is outstanding. I feel I’m getting myself back. Have more energy, less irritated , I’m happier and dealing with stuff better and I can remember stuff.

Fight your GP for it. Average age of menopause is 51 and peri starts up to 10 years beforehand.

I highly reccomend that you read the NICE guidelines on Peri.

Then go to the doctor armed with clarity of thought.

There is help and it sounds very like what I went through. I found a good doc and my life has gone from dark to light. BUT - READ, READ, READ.

I hope so because in the space of just today I’ve gone from feeling okay, to tears and hopelessness to now feeling irritated and angry. Just 2 days after my period! So I seem to be all over the place. Moving from the darkness to the light would be wonderful. I can’t carry on like this, I’m so scared and anxious.

You're not alone OP. I'm 47, just on the tail end of a period that's lasted much longer than usual, bright as a button yesterday, woken up today aching all over, hating everyone and everything and feeling totally irrational and tearful. Up until a few months ago I used to get a clear couple of weeks between the end of a period and the start of PMT, now I have absolutely no idea what's going on. DH has gone upstairs just to get away from me, it must be like living with a mad woman, I'm gone from lying in bed with no energy at all this afternoon to cleaning furiously just because I feel so angry that I've got no energy (which has zero logic to it I know) . I also have sore gums / teeth and achy ankles. It's totally shit isn't it.

Totally agree ohffs66, it is total shit. It is also really depressing how poorly researched and provided for this stage is. Yet all women go through it. Fed up of reading about how have a cup of herbal tea and a bit of yoga will sort us out. How does one fit that in between working FT, kids under 10 and all the rest of it. No other alignment seems to be brushed off so easily. I really hope I get help I need fromGP.....

I would bet my life it's peri, and please don't waste time going to a gp. They are usually completely useless. Make an appointment with a specialist. HRT is a lifesaver.

How do you get an appointment with a specialist? I thought your GP had to refer? I live in a city where there is a menopause clinic but again thought it had to be via referral.

I went private. Best decision ever.

Thanks Aquamarine. Is it very expensive to go private?

Following with interest. I'm 47 and have become irritable and can't tolerate noise.
Also achy and tired. Will go to GP in a few weeks time I think and see what they suggest.