Depression

[Applejack87]

Hi , we're all going through a difficult time at the moment but my anxiety is at an all time high , I'm going through the menopause no HRT. My mum passed away at Easter after her care home went into lockdown it was all pretty horrendous but my elderly dad was with her , hes now living on his own & a broken man without my beloved mum we all miss her so much .. My dad fell in his garden a couple of weeks ago I had to take him to hospital he had fractured his jaw they wanted to wire it but he declined he is thankfully on the mend but I am struggling with everything I am married with one teen but I'm feeling so low that I have moments of tears thinking about my mum . I just don't know if its worth speaking to my DR

Oh Apple, you're dealing with such a lot . Being depressed would be a really normal reaction. Maybe see if you can get an appointment. Is your husband being supportive?

Thankyou , my husband doesn’t know how I’m feeling he’s the sort of person that thinks we can make ourselves feel down if we keep thinking about it , I disagree
I’ve been in isolation with my child since 23rd March & it’s really taking its toll now
He goes to work every day as he’s in an office on his own so his days are pretty normal . I do go on walks locally in the afternoon and taken up Pilates via you tube but I just don’t really have the motivation to do anything I’m sure I’m not the only one feeling like this but losing my mum was the biggest loss in my life

I think things are starting to slowly get 'normalish'. Do you have a good friend you could meet in a park, socially distanced, all that? I wonder if there will be a lot of people trying to access counselling after all this. It's unprecedented not to be able to say goodbye to our loved ones, and I think it's difficult to get our head's around.

Hi @Applejack87 I'm so sorry to hear about your Mum and of course your dad. I went through something similar not too long ago.

I'm no expert, but I do think it's easy to label normal emotions too quickly as 'depression' when in fact we are simply reacting to a huge event like bereavement. Feeling unhappy and anxious is to be expected. I'm not sure these emotions warrant medication as it's time that can be the healer.

If you think this could also be menopause connected, it's really worth considering a low dose of natural HRT. It won't do any harm- the body identical types are absolutely safe for at least 5 years- and may help. That's the normal NHS types, not those sold in private clinics as bio-identical.)

Maybe you can set yourself small goals, like reading a book every day, getting back into some kind of hobby,

Do you have any physical symptoms of menopause as well?

HRT is an absolute lifesaver. You don't need antidepressants, you need hormone replacement. Truly, there is no reason to be suffering like this.

ps There are some very helpful books around on grief which might be worth a read, so you can understand the emotions and the 7 stages of grief we all have to pass through to come out the other side. It's a pity your DH is dismissive of your emotions but if you want to talk, there is always the Samaritans, and of course you could find a BACP counsellor who specialises in helping with grief, as someone to share your thoughts with. There is also the Bereavement forum here on Mumsnet.

I agree with @Aquamarine1029 by the way re HRT.

when you say you are going through the menopause 'with no HRT' have you chosen not to use it for any specific reason?