I feel like I am struggling at the moment and I am putting some of it down to the fact that I think I am well into perimenopause and may hit the menopause at any time.
Mid forties now and predicted an early menopause by a fertility consultant - two children later (three in total).
Periods are heavy. I am grumpy and irritable and feeling like I want to kick back and indulge in me time (sometimes fantasise about jumping on a train and disappearing for a week). Just not possible with a toddler. I would say that I am a good parent who tries hard but then runs out of patience (no extended family but a dh who works hard both at work and in the home). I look at my peers and they have children in their teens/just entered secondary school and whilst issues still present themselves, they do not have the physical slog and constant high alert attention that a toddler presents. DC3 was unexpected but is very much loved but I won't pretend it is easy, I keep getting pangs of jealousy when I meet other women the same age as me or younger who seem to have an awful lot more me time because their dcs are older now. It is true that it could be said that I had more me time when I was in my 20's etc. but I had a lot more energy then and life circumstance meant that I had my dcs later. DC2 has had challenging behaviour but this has improved recently and I think that they will grow into a fairly rounded individual but it has been hard work.
Niggly ailments - failing eyesight, haemorrhoids, dry eye and probably more if I stop to think about it have kicked it this year and I am starting to feel my age (blood tests a while ago and no thyroid issues etc.) Convinced hormones have a lot to do with it but I have always been plagued with PMT. I have just started to take a low dose antidepressant. Just wondering if anyone else feels the same?