What should I do re weight

[BloodyhellMartha]

After advice from anyone, people. I'm early 50s, not had a period for 18 months now and a couple of years ago had (fairly) minor menopausal symptom - but they built up until I was struggling. I have a fairly senior professional job and I just felt shitty all the time.
Symptoms were hot flushes, particularly at night. I was waking every hour with a racing heart, feeling of doom, hot flush...ten minutes of throwing the covers off, feeling panicky and then it would fade and I would be shivering, pull covers back on, try and drop off - to then wake an hour later with the same cycle.

It got to the point where I was shattered, struggling to cope at work - also had a couple of panic attacks at work, and hot flushes. Brain stopped working, would lose track mid sentence, etc. Put a couple of stone on and felt a bit shit - went from a size 12 to a size 16/18 which I wasn't too worried about but it all knocked my confidence.

I just felt shit all the time and that I was struggling to cope, so went to GP. He was sympathetic and helpful. Suggested trying antidepressants rather than HRT - tried citalopram for a month, did nothing. Then switched to Prozac.

This was good - I felt calm, hot flushes went, slept better. Stopped panic attacks - but the down side was that over the next 18 months I piled even more weight on. I had Prozac once before in my 30s and I put a lot of weight on with it then, which mostly shifted after I came off it. This time I have hit 16 stone and a size 22. I just don't feel like me any more - and although I'm not terribly vain I do actually hate being this size. Nothing much fits, my knees hurt, I am struggling to get about and I am totally exhausted a lot of the time. I would love to get back down to a size 14 at least. Which I feel embarassed about because it sound trivial.

Anyway, I came off the Prozac in March after 18 months on it. I have carefully watched what I've eaten. Stuck to healthy eating for the last 12 weeks and I've lost 3 sodding pounds. In addition I now feel anxious, depressed, generally unhappy and twitchy. The hot flushes are back and life feels just as shit as it did 2 years ago - with the added crap of now being 16 stone and feeling bad instead of 11 stone and feeling bad.

My question is should I go back to the GP and ask to go back on Prozac again? It cut my menopause symptoms and I felt better - but I am desperate to shift this weight and can't bear the thought of piling any more on. Happy to take opinions from any of you who have been here - or any who haven't!

What would you do, folks?

There are more knowledgeable women on here than me but you sound classic peri menopausal. That was exactly me. The anxiety, sweats not sleeping.

ADs are not recommended for menopausal symptoms, can you look up the NICE guidelines? Would you consider HRT?

Thank you @MadamBatty. I would consider anything, I think! I just want to feel my old self again - able to cope professionally and not be so overweight I feel I'm storing up health problems for the future.

I was piling on weight like you @bloodyhellmartha. They will rip The HRT out of my dead hands. I had no quality of life before I went on it.

It makes me angry how ignorant GPS are about menopause & how they off ADs instead of HRT

Read up & go back to the doc & don’t take no for an answer

BTW I was doing everything right, perfect diet, no caffeine, exercising har daily but it made no difference

Oh that sounds better! Have you managed to shift weight on HRT? I know that this sounds utterly trivial but it's the thing that is getting me down the most. I've spent my life as a size 10/12, right up into my mid 40s and have always said that I think what you weigh is not important - it's more important to be nice and kind. And I genuinely believed that.

But bloody hell, I am miserable in a size 22. My stomach is overhanging and whatever I wear I look huge and feel flabby and awful. I've just steadily piled on weight over the past 2-3 years. Obviously putting 1lb a week on means you can pile about 4 stone on in a year - and it doesn't seem to be coming off the same way!

Yep I’ve shifted the weight, I do exercise a lot too & took up weights. I’m I’m in the best shape I’ve been in in 15 years.

It’s miserable when you feel like you’re loosing control. I can see how women ‘give up’, nothing wrong with being heavier if that’s your choice but awful when you’re doing everything right & still the scales is creeping up.

Poor you.
Weight gain around the menopause is very common so I wouldn't automatically assume it's the Prozac.
If you're feeling awful you could either go back on Prozac or try HRT.
Either way I would seriously consider weight training. You lose muscle mass as you get older so it's worth increasing it to up your metabolism.

Thank you both! @MadameBatty I'm feeling faintly inspired by you - it's reassuring to know that it may be possible to shift some weight!
@helpmum2003 I think I will go back to GP and have a conversation about HRT - my problem with exercise is timing.

I'm out the house at 7.00am every morning, before any local gyms are open, and not back until about 6.00pm. By then I can't face heading off to join the evening crowd of men that seem to pack our local gym - I did go for a bit, but found them a bit heavy on the testosterone, and I can't face hovering around waiting for a machine looking obese and "middle aged woman" whilst 20 something men shove past me. I did C25k a few years ago and found it handy to be able to run when it suited me, and I used to do a Kettlebells class so have a dusty Kettlebell lurking in my bedroom. I feel too fat to run at present, but I think I'll try some yoga/stretching in a morning and try to do a Youtube Kettlebell in an evening.

I will definitely go and have a conversation about HRT - I would feel so much better if I was roughly my old size and weight again, but that's not actually solving my problem with panic, anxiety and flushes. They are fairly minor at present, but I know I am inclined to soldier bravely on, dismissing how I feel - product of a 1970s upbringing . It does seem bloody stupid to battle on like a martyr if I could actually take something that made me feel better. I suspect it's a hang up from being brought up to not take tablets unless you were at death's door.

Too late this evening to reply at length but basically you ought to be considering HRT not anti depressants. This is the advice of NICE.

Other bit of advice, get hold of Michael Moseley's 5:2 diet/ recipes and try that.

It's 500 cals for 2 days a week and healthy eating for the other 5 days. You ought to lose 2lbs a week on it.

I had very similar symptoms to you and have been taking HRT since September. I feel loads better, could sleep for England, no aches and pains, less brain fog etc. I went from 11.5 stone to 13.2 stone in 18 months during meno and have managed to lose a measly 5lbs in the past 6 months! BUT i am not seriously dieting, just running 3 or 4 times a week. Couldn't run before hrt as had such bad aches and pains.

Thank you all! I am going to try and book a GP appointment (which may take some time!) but will look at Michael Moseley. I have Tom Kerridge's dopamine diet book and cutting carbs used to work for me. I cut wheat and sugar out entirely for last 12 weeks and it has done very little!

HRT does sound much better. Do you think I need it? I feel a bit awkward because I don't feel my symptoms are that bad. Yes I feel low/anxious - but I'm depressed about weight. Yes I feel hot in night, not sleeping well, very ratty and snappy in daytime. But I sort of feel I should get over this - no periods for 18 months, does this not suggest I'm though menopause and will start to feel better on my own?

Sorry - a bit ignorant on this, I think.

I felt old. I was 52. I feel 42 now.

I think what HRT has done for me is given me my oomph back! Before I was a knackered, lethargic, grumpy, low, worried, confused mess who sought comfort in sugar. Now I have energy, improved mood as well as knowledge and control over my own health. I’ve seen starting HRT as a line in the sand and I’ve jumped into the second ‘half’ of my life with a desire to be as healthy as I can and make good choices for me. Ive lost 9lbs so far and feel in control of where I’m going next

I battled on ‘like a martyr’ until my newly developed rosacea led to to the GP who was amazing and saw beyond my initial skin concern. Before I knew it I was confiding how shit I felt and she told me I didn’t have to do it alone. She was wonderful. I’ve only been on it 3 weeks but I’m a new woman! Please consider HRT.

@Fibbke and @IamMummyhearmeROAR thank you so much! I would love my oomph and to feel myself again.

Mummy, you have summed it up with Before I was a knackered, lethargic, grumpy, low, worried, confused mess who sought comfort in sugar

That was me. Now I'm knackered, lethargic, grumpy, low, worried confused mess who has cut out wheat and sugar and is raging that I'm still fat thanks to my previous sugar eating!
I am really desperate to take control and be healthy again.

I think the feeling I've lost control of my own life is a very difficult thing to take.

That's it. I'm giving HRT a bash if possible!

Thank you all so much, I'll let you know how I do.

You DO NOT need antidepressants. You need HRT. It can dramatically change your life.

My hrt is a lifesaver for me, I gain a little weight but I don’t think that it is due to hrt.

Yes I feel low/anxious - but I'm depressed about weight. Yes I feel hot in night, not sleeping well, very ratty and snappy in daytime. But I sort of feel I should get over this - no periods for 18 months, does this not suggest I'm though menopause and will start to feel better on my own?

You feel you should get over this? yes, maybe, but when? For the record, my mum has had insomnia, hot flushes and night sweats for over 40 years( she is now in her 90s.) Some women get none of these, others for a few months, a couple of years, some for decades. There is no knowing.

These symptoms are caused by loss of estrogen. Using a powerful drug like an anti depressant masks some symptoms but it's not exactly dealing with the cause. It's also very addictive (Prozac) and not without side effects.

My own view is it's nothing short of a disgrace that women are being medicated with anti depressants (as if they have a mental health issue) when they are estrogen-deficient. ADs are not Smarties- they all come with their own negatives.

Can you scale back your works hours at all to make room for exercising? Piling on the weight is not just bad for the self esteem, it puts you at a significantly higher risk of cancers, heart disease, etc. People, especially women, put self care too far down the list sometimes, and it does no one any favours in the long run. It's not selfish to put your health first.

Re: exercising could you afford a PT to get you started, even for a short time? You deserve it for your morale and long term health.

I don't use weight machines - I found a class like Bodypump fun and you get away from the testosterone frenzy. Kettle bells good also.

A comment on ADs - they're not recommended first line for flushes etc alone. However, for some people who can't take HRT they may be a good option. They're not addictive on the whole but you need to wean off them - as you may do with other meds also...

HRT all the way!! If it's disrupting your life that much.

The risks with HRT (breast cancer, etc) are much less than being overweight. I have gradually put on a couple of stone over the years and can easily lose weight by dieting if I actually stick to it. Am trying to at the moment.

Somebody recommended Peppy (phone consultation with private menopause nurse) recently, which I'd never heard of. Sounds like a good idea. Unfortunately most GPs seem to be pretty rubbish on menopause and what meds are suitable.

I go to a class based gym, I’m very lucky it’s women only. I do a class 5.30 - 6.30, shower in work. Is there anything like that near you?

Overslept this morning (despite good intentions) and have had a fairly rubbish day, feeling stressed and weepy over small stuff.

I have taken the day off work tomorrow so that I can see my GP. I'll be asking about HRT. Will let you know how I get on.

Thank you all for the help and support.

GP (male) was excellent and went through things very thoroughly and has prescribed me Kliofem.

Told me to see how I go and we can try something else if I don't feel it's working.