Menopause

[Applejack87]

Hi , I’m 52 and I’ve had a series of blood tests for hair loss & tiredness which all came back normal apart from my testosterone is slightly elevated and I’m peri . My Dr is a woman of around my age so I thought she’d be more sympathetic about my symptoms which is total fatigue , weight gain , anxiety . I had a brief chat about hrt but she pretty much brushed it aside and sent me off not feeling any better .
I have been reading about menopause and the effects it has on our bodies for example Oestrogen protects our hearts & bones
I’m feeling so crap & don’t know where to turn next . Any advice please

You need a different doctor, right away. HRT is a lifesaver and it's utterly ridiculous and unacceptable that you and your well-being have been dismissed. Next time, TELL the new doctor you want HRT, don't ask, and refuse to be fobbed off.

Hi , Are there any ladies that don’t take HRT ?
How do you take care of yourself ? Do you take supplements ?

Thankyou for your reply Aquamarine I just found it so hard to believe that my GP is roughly a woman that is my age and had no empathy about how I’m feeling

I think you should ask your GP to refer you to the nearest Menopause Clinic (I live in London so our nearby teaching hospital has one, but assume most large hospitals would?).... in my experience, the GPs vary from being well meaning but hopeless (didn't know what they should do), to frankly hostile that menopause was a 'thing' that could affect women in all sorts of significant ways. Too many of my friends have been offered anti depressants rather than HRT or even a referral to the menopause clinic.

The M clinic is at least staffed with people who know about the menopause, its effects and are not afraid to look holistically at you and your symptoms. Through the M clinic I have also had bone density scans done, as well as bloods and my HRT regime tweaked as necessary until the major issues have stabilised.

Push for a referral. And don't give up. Good luck.

Thankyou for your informative reply Orangina the menopause is bad enough without the anxiety of not knowing how to cope with it . I will get onto my surgery now about the referral , is there a big waiting list ?

I think I had some waiting to do, but I imagine it varies on a hospital by hospital basis. I went to my GP with a list of what I think I needed written down (I could not remember a BLOODY THING when I first went...) in terms of types of HRT (possibly gleaned from the MN threads...) and my GP gave me what I asked for and referred me at the same time. If memory serves (still hasn't fully recovered!), I was seen within a few months, but the HRT kicked in almost immediately in terms of addressing anxiety, anger, aching joints, heart palpitations and sleep. I never really get hot flushes unless I have a few too many drinks, and the memory issues are a bit better, but have not fully resolved themselves if I'm honest. It's also worth pushing to have your bloods done, if only to provide a baseline for future testing.

There are not that many NHS meno clinics around.

Go to the website of the British Menopause Society and top of the Home page is a tab for Specialists. This gives a geographical list of private and NHS meno clinics and drs.

I don't think there is any logic to women drs being more sympathetic than men. My gynae is male and couldn't be nicer.

As above, whoever you see, you need to say you want to try HRT (and unless they give you sound medical reasons for not using it - your own medical history) they ought not to /can't refuse.

Go and see a different GP. Print off the NICE guidelines about menopause, explain that you know your symptoms are a result of the menopause and you'd like to discuss options. Take guidelines with you and know where the key points are in advance - ie, don't accept being diagnosed with something that requires anti-depressants unless you think that's the cause of anxiety etc.

If you are open to taking HRT, then take it - it's brilliant. I did 2 years without it, during that time I changed my diet to low calorie, I upped my exercise, I did mindfulness, I tried to sleep well (hard with night sweats), I tried supplements... in the end I was SO happy with HRT that I wish I'd pushed for it sooner.

Seconding looking at the Nice Guidelines for Menopause and adding looking through the decision tree from Menopause Matters. It has nutrition and exercise options, as well as non-HRT and HRT options. There are a lot, depending on your circumstances.

I've been menopausal without HRT for 5 years - mainly because my GP didn't follow guidelines, she had a very "get on with it" attitude (pretty much told me to be glad I'll be buying fewer pads...) and I'd only heard the scare stories about HRT at that point so worried to ask. In these 5 years, I've taken various menopause and hormone-supporting supplements, learned ice cream is really good for hot flushes, yoga, walking, & resistance training is great even when it sucks, and having systems for keeping my mind positive and focused are vital (Mel Robbins was pretty much my mental lifeline for a while as I tried to refigure out how to do things with all the brain fog and issues).

I'm now intending to go back to the GP for another run for many reasons because, being part of the Menopause Support group on facebook, I've seen so many women talk about, while it's quite a bit of trial and error, they've gotten their lives back. I look at my symptoms and feel like I've been deteriorating and just saying it's all menopause. It reminds me of when I was pregnant and kept saying it's pregnancy, I'm fine and ended up really really sick (on bedrest for weeks after the birth) because it was slow and steady and I had an excuse to turn a blind eye. I'm tired of feeling broken and waiting for it to get better.

I'd recommend taking a look through the options and guidance in the links above and being proactive about it. Whether HRT or something else, know exactly what you're options are and when you would consider another option.