Citalopram ? Dr prescribed this anti depressant drug , after I refused HRT but I didn't tell her about my controlling partner.

[beachhead]

When I asked the Dr. for advise on menopause she wouldnt even give an opinion obviously on black cohosh ,obviously it's not tested by NICE being alternative treatment. Instead she prescribed Citalopram, I'm so reluctant to start this medication , because it's addictive. But I didn't like to mention my stress caused by my controlling freak of a partner, who's so miserly!

I'm starting a new job next week. So Dr. said not sure if my anxiousness is just temporary. But I've been feeling terrible even before I got the new contract.

My stress is linked to my mean partner, i honestly am feeling controlled by my partner. Honestly I'm so stuck in a rut, I've got 2 sons, so I need to hold it all together for them.
We live in a big posh house, which is mortgage free, , have numerous luxuary holidays, and still be is expecting me to work full time. He has not paid much towards the boys I've always earned the money for everything they want. We even have a holiday house abroad, which is mortgage free, but we hardly use it ! We're not married, but he has good income and I know he recieves rental income too. We have separate Bank accounts , but I am at the end so close to breaking point.
It's not that we need the money I earn, he s just so frugal ! I don't know what to do.

Your relationship aside why did you refuse HRT? If you don't mind me asking?

If your GP has not done a full assessment of your mental health, you ought not to have been prescribed ADs. There was a big media message which came out last week saying that drs are being advised to cut all prescribing of ADs unless for medium-severe depression.

Can we separate your problems into two:

1 your relationship
2 your menopause symptoms

HRT won't sort out the stress caused by your partner and neither will ADs.

You need to consider counselling to help you remove yourself from a controlling relationship if that's the way you want to go.

If you have severe symptoms of menopause, why would you refuse HRT?

Why on earth would you refuse HRT? I would avoid AD's if at all possible. If your misery is caused by your partner, they won't help you.

I don't know what to do.

1 Do not start medicating yourself to cope with being in an abusive relationship. That is a downward spiral and no good will come of it for you or your sons.

2 Go and see a solicitor. As you are unmarried it may be hard to get any share of your joint assets but you need to make enquiries as to your legal rights.

It's good you have a job because it's the first step to starting again. You cannot saddle yourself to this man any longer and although it may seem impossible now, the only way to protect your mental health is to leave him when you can. Save your earnings and look into leaving him and renting for you and your sons.

Are your boys his?? (Is he their father?)

In the meantime, if you need help with hot flushes, sweats, mood swings and other meno symptoms, consider HRT.

Citalopram is not addictive. It is a type of SSRI anti-depressant.