Anyone lost their mojo?

[Miljah]

Sorry, this is long!

I'm mid 50s, in the menopause (as of age 50), on HRT for a couple of years which was okay til I got PMB which was either poor absorption of progesterone (utrogestan tabs), a uterine/cervical polyp (removed, no problems), or a small fibroid. Uterine lining was thin.

I had to go off my HRT to see if the bleeding stopped, which is did. The gynae, at the appointment that diagnosed the above, put a Mirena in to see if that would be more effective than utrogestan, so I restarted my Estradot patches, so my hot flushes have abated (again), but I'm still getting a watery, slightly blood stained discharge which I will see my GP about if I can ever get an appointment.

Anyway, the big thing is, that since menopause, I have completely lost my mojo.

I just cannot be arsed to do anything. I can't get excited about anything, the idea of going out and doing the stuff I used to do- walking, cycling, sewing, painting etc, makes me go 'Meh'. If I have 'a job' to do, like clearing out a room, it is touch and go when I wake up whether I can actually even start the job; however, very occasionally I get bursts of creative energy and can get stuck in with gusto. But they're unpredictable and infrequent. Usually I'm either riven with indecision about what to tackle, or go 'Whatevs' and tit around on here or FB for hours.

My anxiety levels have increased, my weight has crept up, my alcohol intake has gone up a bit.

My sleep is laughably erratic, I can often see every hour on my alarm clock, and I tend to 'make up for it' by lying in on my days off, til 10 or 11am. Then I'm awake til 2am.

My low back pain and achy knees aren't going away.

There are 'the usual' stressors in my life, having 2 late teenage DSs (one first year uni) but no major issues; a frontline HCP job (3 days a week, plus one weekend day every second w/e, plus 1:7 on-call from home) where the contempt in which we are held by the latest bunch of incompetent middle managers is shocking (this has happened over the past 2-3 years); I am being 'threatened' with being forced back onto night shifts (despite a 35 year absence...) despite a collapsed vertebra, and most of my work contemporaries are walking, one by one. Being a union rep, as I am, my dealings with this management culture can be quite combative and hostile (great way to motivate overworked, stressed staff, eh?).

I am also very worried about Brexit.

I have a lovely DH albeit a little emotionally 2 dimensional but he is supportive, though his eyes widen a little like a trapped rabbit if I 'emote' any of this! Fortunately I do have friends who I can have a moanfest with, though I do feel I am the least mojo'ed of any of them.

We are financially 'okay'.

We 'have a plan' in buying a motorhome to travel through Europe in 4 years' time in 'retirement' when DS2 leaves uni which DH is quite excited about, and I should be, but all I can think about is the effort, bother and stress, not how great it will be to see fantastic new things together. (The 'travel' bit doesn't worry me, I backpacked extensively in my 20s).

I want to enjoy my life again. The years are slipping past.

WWYD?

And it has felt cathartic, typing this out!

Yup, can hardly keep my eyes openntoday whereas on Monday I was a whirling dervish. I know exactly how you feel. I don’t even work but feel and look like a zombie most of the time.

I was up in the night til 2am (on call 🙄), so maybe, after a cuppa with DH at 7.30am, it was understandable that I went back to sleep til 11am. I have pottered in the garden (tho am in a lather of indecision about a bit of remodelling), then tried to catch up with a mountain of newspapers and magazines before chucking them.

However, right now, I could easily nap for 90 minutes!

I shall attempt to resist.

Oh this is me exactly! Completely lost my mojo lately, not sure if I’m depressed or hormonal?? Just can’t be bothered with anything. Complain that I never go out and then just want to cancel and stay in when I do arrange anything. All my hobbies and things I enjoy I just cba.. Need to change something I’m so dull and boring

The worse aspect of the menopause for me, the only one I just can't seem to manage is poor sleep both in quantity and quality.

I feel as you do but I know it is 100% due to the sleep as the very rare times I do get a good night sleep, I feel so full of positive mental energy the next day.

My life is much less stressful than it used to be but my ability to think things through means that I seem to get much more affected than I used to. I know this does impact on my sleep but I don't know to which extent.

Meditation definitely helps but it takes a long time for the benefits to over take my natural mental instinct.

I have had three glorious sleeps in a row but I'm still knackered. And more anxious about things, and more stressed about stuff that never used to bother me. And here I am faffing on here because I can't be arsed hanging out the washing or getting my shit together

I could have written this. Although, in my case, I'd add that I have so many regrets over poor decisions and other things that menopause is made even harder for me.

I've found the combination of HRT, Prozac and exercise have helped immensely!
I've gone from barely functioning to considering a promotion in work!!

Thanks everyone.

Willow can I ask why Prozac? Is that for depression? I wonder if I am a bit depressed. I also know exercise would benefit me 100% if I cba. I wonder if a bit of chemical 'help' might get me over that?

I think there may be a very very simple answer to your issues- not high enough estrogen dose. What size patch are you on? All you may need is a higher dose. That is the advice of NICE before adding in Prozac which is NOT recommended for menopause without tweaking (or starting) HRT.

The watery discharge can be a sign of vaginal atrophy. Although we expect to feel dry during and post meno, a very dry vagina can- ironically- produce a watery discharge (this is well known by medical experts.)

Ask your GP to review your patch size and increase it.

It may also be side effects of the Mirena- although it's in the uterus, it does put a certain level of progestogen into the blood stream, equivalent to a low dose combined patch. Might be worth ditching it and going back to Utrogestan, even sequentially if you don't mind a monthly bleed.

www.womens-health-concern.org/help-and-advice/factsheets/vaginal-dryness/

Hi I’m new to mumsnet I lost my mojo 10 years ago when I was peri menopausal the menopause has ruined my life my marriage is basically over my husband says we’re more like brother and sister I never went off my husband I love him to pieces but as the menopause took hold of me I became this person that was no longer me my doctor wouldn’t prescribe hrt as he’s seen to many women with breast cancer and he said there was nothing to take for the loss of my libido and now my husband will not even cuddle me and I’m devastated he’s als started talking to an old female school friend I know she’s giving him all the attention I never gave all those years ago I just wish I could turn the clock back my sons are in their early 20s and 30s and have noticed mums not herself I just don’t know what to do any advice thanks

Faybaline. didn't want your post to go unnoticed. That's a hard deal but I have to say your hubby isn't being very supportive. Through thick n thin, in sickness and health n all that. You need to love yourself again. I'd also see another doctor because my friend (who is a specialist menopause doctor) swears HRT can be a lifesaver for people and the benefits far outweigh the risks.

@Faybaline
It's such a shame that you had a terrible dr.

I've used HRT for 10-ish years through a meno consultant. So at the same time I was starting to use it, your GP was saying it was too risky.

You need a new dr. If you are within 10 years of your last period, or even more, you can start HRT.

It's disgraceful you have been told lies basically. Population risks of HRT are not relevant for the individual woman. And your GP is grossly out of touch with current advice, especially NICE menopause guidelines.

Have you thought of seeing someone else?

As for your husband - that's awful. He doesn't sound supportive or understanding, so maybe that's an issue on its own?

Thank you everyone who has answered my post I’m seeing a different doctor on the 30th April 2019 to have a talk I will mention HRT to her and see what she can offer me as I’m feeling so down I just don’t know what to do

You need to something Faybaline. At least if you try hrt, you are doing something to help. Your gp doesn't own your body, mind or life. You are entitled to make a decision as to the risks of a normal life.

Thank you I'm willing to try anything I did try it it was given to me by a locum but I was having break through bleeding now I that there are tablets that do not give you that and hopefully this doctor will help me

I was feeling very low and anxious. I could no longer function. My GP said she often used the combination of Prozac and HRT in the menopause. It's certainly worked for me!

Willow- good you feel ok BUT your dr is really wrong. I don't know if you see much in the media but there are some specialist meno drs who are on Twitter and they are VERY concerned about the use of ADs etc by GPs for women in meno. There is a huge re-education programme going on to try to get this over to GPs. NICE says women are not to be given ADs etc for low mood and anxiety unless they had a diagnosis of depression etc before menopause. They tell GPs to increase HRT dose first to see if that helps.

It's a disappointing indictment of how trivial menopausal women's health is seen that there is such a divergence in GPs knowledge base regarding HRT, menopause, depression etc.

Thanks to everyone who is contributing here. I will arrange to see my GP though I wish there was a menopause expert I could be referred to. If men went through this you could bet there'd be one at every GP's practice!

Anyway, a bit of good news: I have obtained an exemption from upcoming night shifts, which will also mean no more on-call from home. This should happen on June 1st but won't due to the staggering ineptitude of our middle managers refusing to see what's in front of them, but it's still on the cards.

Also, this bright weather has lifted my mood a bit and we are going on an 8 mile walk later! I may need to be airlifted out!

Hope everyone is having a nice Easter.

@Miljah TBH Something to consider is going to see a private meno / gynaecologist consultant, something I did years ago, although I didn't go for menopause initially. I know cash is an issue for some people, but if you have £250 to spare, you can get expert advice. If you look at the British Menopause Society website there is a link to specialists across the UK.

My first gyn was so arrogant and uncaring! He told that taking hrt is a very risky decision and was only 41. After spending some time I found a consultant who is adamant that hrt is absolutely necessary for me and that there is no time limit. I feel normal again.

I was like you last year until I replaced my coil and felt better almost immediately. I think I'm only peri-menopausal though (hard to tell as I've had a coil for ages).

You MUST keep pushing the doctor to get the meds right. The other thing I found really useful was getting off social media. I have to be on it for a certain amount for my work, but I started setting myself really strict time limits then I would move. Having a dog helps, because I have to walk twice a day. But I felt that staring at a screen was taking me further and further into a downward spiral.

I needed to make myself DO things (I actually count naps as doing things though) and that really helped. The self-loathing after a day titting about on the web was terrible...

Good point re Getting Out There.

You say you 'replaced your coil'- what do you mean, if you don't mind me asking?

I have been like this since I started the menopause 1o years ago and quite honestly it doesn't show any signs of coming back.
I don't know what the answer is but being stressed at work and doing nights certainly isn't.
Employers have to take notice of the menopause now and personally I'd tell them that it makes you so unwell you are fearful of doing nights as it could seriously harm your physical and mental health.