How do you manage anxiety and general bad tempered ness?

[SarfE4sticated]

I am 50, perimeno and on HRT patches (the oestrogen and progesterone ones). Usually I feel ok, but sometimes I feel like I am just going to explode with rage, can’t bear noise, feel trapped and cope badly with my daily commute. Just yesterday on the train I snapped at a woman sat next to me making a phone call, the rest of the carriage rushed to her defence and I felt like a monster. This happened with oestrogen patch too.

So what can I do/take to help? I can’t actually change my lifestyle (work commute, loud neighbours upstairs etc) but need to deal with it better before I get lynched.

My DD and DH are being lovely but I feel like I’m letting them down. Sometimes I just want to go to bed and never wake up.

CBT is possible through private health but I don’t always find it very useful. The example yesterday on train just happened within seconds, and I just could not stop the words from tumbling out. No amount of deep breaths would have helped.

So, if you’ve felt like this and managed to fix it, please share how you did it!

Thanks

I honestly don't know. For me, the consequences of being a PITA in public would stop me doing it again:) Maybe you need to find other strategies- like mindfulness apps Headspace and Calm- use them in an earpiece on the commute.

Are you doing any exercise? That's been shown to help reduce anxiety and really help.

I really do recommend you go to your GP - hopefully you have someone at your practice who takes a particular interest in menopause? If nothing else, it helps to keep an eye on your symptoms. There are some excellent online support communities for menopausal women where you can share your experiences and pick up tips. I really feel for you. I had the full gamut for 14 years.

Apart from that, the only practical suggestion I can make is for you to be aware of it and to keep apologising!

God, the rage. It's all-consuming sometimes.

Something I find which helps me is listening to classical music with headphones.

Not Ride of the Valkyries obvs, but Chopin/ Debussy etc.

Thanks ladies, your support is much appreciated. Have managed to keep my inner-harpy under control today, but still feel a bit wobbly. My Adam's Apple is hurting for some reason, I wonder is my thyroid is playing up.
I will go and see the doc next week and see what she says.

Some days I feel like a risk to society, how am I meant to carry on working for another 25 years!

Thanks again everyone, hope you all have lovely, calm and peaceful weekends!

Hi there OP - can I ask what sort of patches you are on? I had a similar experience with patches and moved from them to the gel and progesterone tablets (to the body identical version). My menopause specialist explained that I had developed an intolerance to the synthetic progesterone.

Rafabella8 I'm on Ecorel Sequi (sp?) and i thought they suited me quite well, but my temper is through the roof sometimes.

I have been worrying ever since the 'train incident' and have altered my journey to work so I don't see any of those people again.

Maybe you should look into some anger management therapy (like CBT) and see if that helps? Were you like this before at all and has it escalated or is it new? I used to get very very shouty at home though never put it down to peri or meno as I still had regular periods and no other symptoms. Thankfully it didn't spill over in public.

HRT was the only thing that improved my mood. I had to try several different ones before finding one that actually worked.
When I first started the menopause a business man came into my clinic for some treatment, I'm a podiatrist and during the treatment was talking loudly on his phone.
I took the phone off him and hurled it out of the window to his absolute astonishment .
My boss said I think it's time you went on HRT.

Op l have been struggling with the menopause for the last 2 years, things that helped,

HRT
Turmeric for joint pain
Yoga for 'the Rage' l scrapped gym membership and have paid for 1 to 1 yoga at home once a week, it has done wonders in calming the mood swings, and l do the bits l can remember on the living room floor at odd times in between, it makes me feel so much better mentally and physically.
It has hugely helped with the exhaustion too.

Well Jingling I used to get a bit cross pre period, but not to this extent. Commuting in London during rush hour is pretty stressful at the best of times, so maybe this woman was the straw that broke the camel's back. I shudder to think of it really. I just don't seem to be able to deal with noise anymore.
Madcat what did your client say!
Have made an appt to see my doctor to see what she says, and will also ring BUPA about CBT.
Thankfully, physically I feel fine, maybe not bursting with energy, but no joint pain. I even have a libido again thanks to the HRT patches. Thanks for making me feel so much better everyone.

Was livid, it was the NHS too. I burst into tears and left the clinic. My boss sorted it out.

My rage has more or less gone since I've been taking elleste hrt tablets. I do get a bit snappy when I am taking the progesterone ones, but nothing like I was, and also I am prepared for it. When I take the oestrogen only ones I am the nicest person in the world! Wish I could just take those!

I totally relate to the words just coming from nowhere. I look back and cringe at some of the things I said.