Psychologically - how is the peri/menopause for you?

[Sarcelle]

I am 53. No period for 5 months. Hot flushes ramped up in intensity but usually when a bit stressed or after alcohol. Easily narked by all sorts of things which never used to bother me, I take no prisoners these days. I have a problem with being around people, a tendency to be more introverted. A bit anxious, some aches and foot pain (the latter seems to have been sorted by taking turmeric). I can deal with the physical manifestation of this stage of my life but I am finding the psychological aspect harder to deal with.

It is not the thought of being thought of as an old bag, or losing my looks, my struggle is that I feel like I am know on the road to dying. Morbid I know, but I feel like I am in a decline. Anyone else?

Not quite so morbid. But I did have a feeling I was entering my last decades so now was the time to do stuff. I.e. I started running at 50. Did a half marathon. Had never exercised before. At 54 I got a fulltime job. Hadn’t worked for 20 years. I’m not depressed about anything, but want to make the most of the running out years!

Easily narked by all sorts of things which never used to bother me, I take no prisoners these days. I have a problem with being around people, a tendency to be more introverted

Isn't this just 'getting older' ie grumpy old woman syndrome?
I find I can't be bothered with all sorts of stuff now and people I don't really care about I drop. Same with speaking your mind- without being rude, of course. Life's too short.

I don't mind getting older.
I had a lot of health problems in my 20s and not remotely like that now, so life is excellent (age 51).

Life is an arc, it's ok to be wherever you are on the arc.

Yes, I am okay with that part but the morbid thoughts are hard to grapple with.

have you always been obsessed with death or is this brand new?

I am not obsessed with it, I think about it at random moments. New for me, just the sense that I am on the decline.

I'm ok with that, I see hag (post menopausal woman) as a well earned title. I've survived a load of rubbish, physical and social, and I'm still here, I didn't die in childbirth.
I no longer fret about what I look like or what other people think.

It's a great time to look at priorities.

Don't get me wrong- my teeth are going, my eyes have gone, and I ache more often than I don't- I still have a sense of humour and enjoy my hobbies and work.

Physically I'm fed up- about 5 months without a period, exhausted and ache in every bone. But I'm hoping that will improve.

At first it was a real shock for me because of my young age. I diagnosed at 41, I am single and childless, so I was overwhelmed with a sense of loss and failure.
I was very concerned about my health and what my early Meno means for my future and my life.
After 2 years I feel more secure and calm. I try to get informed about Meno and to go on my life. My Meno was a pause for me but not the end!

Really don't like "hag" as a descriptor!

I‘m getting some peri symptoms at nearly 48. I‘m definitely less patient with those who waste my time, my eyes are deteriorating, I have dental problems, also getting a few aches and pains. However I still weight lift and ensure I‘m active and eating well. The spare tyre round my middle will likely never shift but I can keep it in check. Just seems weird to be getting noticeably older though I‘ll be glad to be finished with bloody periods!

It was a term of respect recognising older women's wisdom, experience, and sheer survival! Older women were a bit scary in that respect, I think.

Half watching a programme on Parkinson's Disease. It has just given me a mental slap around the head and told me to stop being so indulgent.

I'm 5 years since last period, and yes to the aches and pains, and bad dental problems.. going grey doesnt bother me, neither does suddenly having to wear glasses as my eyes deteriorate and im lucky in that my body shape hasnt changed.. But i can get quite anxious and low at times, especially when tired, but luckily for me, twice a week i work for 2 ladies in their late 80s, who live alone and are amazing!
One is a well known textile artist who can no longer leave her house because of her health, and has lost her husband and son. The other is rapidly going down hill healthwise, but is a retired criminal law barrister and so shrewd, my god they are both incredibly inspiring to be with! I am a but a 'spring chicken' to them and learn so much, they make me view my life as it is now, in a very different way. My priorities have definitely changed since i met them, and i can now give myself a kick up the arse when i need to!

58 here, menopause started at 49, HRT for 8 years, stopped 6 months ago. My mood is definitely lower - I've always been a bit of a 'Pollyanna' despite some difficult life events, but now I'm 'meh' and a bit lazy. Brain not as sharp as it was, either.

It's not helped by being reluctantly long term single and feeling invisible to men - I feel like my horizons are shrinking, for the first time in my life. Maybe it will pass....

You are so totally normal. I have been 4 months without a period and before that perimenopausal was a nightmare for ten years. I went through anxiety, depression, worthlessness. But the way I now think of it is going through puberty backwards. All those shitty hormones are on the decline and now I am going back to before periods when I was a kid.
And that was a great time 😉

I hear you. My period stopped when I was around 50 and I went a bit mental for awhile. My sleep patterns were so erratic, I had to give up my job because I couldn't cope with the pressure. I also developed chronic self-doubt in a way that was very crippling. It seriously affected friendships. I went down the antidepressants route which so many women of our age do and it was useless. Then thanks to Mums Net I discovered the right HRT and things have been very much brighter. I do sleep much better now, the self-doubt has mostly abated. I feel much more like my old self which is a real relief. I know HRT is still controversial but I would recommend it to anyone suffering with the Peri meno or menopause. And it does also really help with the hot sweats.

Almost 50 and very definitely peri-menopausal. Periods all over the place. Go through phases of hot flushes, but have managed them with Agnus Castus, which has worked so far. Was getting very disturbed sleep, but again that has improved too. I find exercise helps massively as well and I've overhauled my diet too - so not dieting but I've made improvements to my eating, so less processed food, less sugar and refined carbs, more oily fish and veg etc.

Mentally, I veer from feeling sad to be at the end of one phase of my life, which has flown by and excited about the next phase. Both my DC are just becoming adults, so it is a time of big change for me.

Mostly, I'm positive but also slightly at how fast everything seems to be going!

First bloody period for six months. Not impressed. I'm able to have a duvet day though. So I am!

Sarcellle Yes the ageing thing is tough. The worry about losing ones looks I've had quite badly and the foot pain I've had that too. I thought it was to do with the fact that I have put on a bit of weight and my arches are suffering! But when worrying about age is getting to me, I find rereading Graham Green's Travels With My Aunt is fab for putting age into perspective and realising it really is just a state of mind.

Sleep problems! No one talks about those! I have periods of no sleep then sleeping forever. Is that normal?

The sleep problems for me too. Bouts of exhaustion then insomnia. Waking up in the early hours with anxiety and heart racing.
Also aches and pains, especially in my feet. (What IS that?)
Worst though, I just feel flat or sad most of the time. I think that, at almost 50, I'm just reviewing life and wondering how I ended up where I did.
Was hoping HRT would help, it hasn't so far. Looking into bio identical HRT soon, hoping that will be more effective.

Oooh bio identical HRT what's that?

Bloods analysed to assess which hormones are lacking. Then bespoke HRT. My nursing friend recommended it to me. She has testosterone included in hers, which she says, has made all the difference. I'm currently on Femoston.

For those with foot pain, which I have had quite badly, went within a few days of taking High Potency Tumeric from Natures Best.

@changingeverything2019

No one should go down that route because

1 These are not licensed drugs
2 You can get the equivalent on the NHS.

The word 'bio' is a marketing term.
Doctors prefer to use 'body identical'.

I will try to be brief on this but it's better if you read the statements by drs.

www.menopausematters.co.uk/pdf/article%20Bio%20identicals%202017.pdf

www.menopausedoctor.co.uk/menopause/body-identical-hormones

BIO HRT is 'compounded' That means it is made in a private lab just for you. It is NOT licensed ( ie approved.)

The drs who promote this are out to make money out of women's ignorance and desperation.

The type of HRT in 'compounded' 'bio' HRT is exactly the same as you can get from a GP.

It's estradiol and micronised progesterone.

You can also get testosterone.