I think I need a therapist as well as HRT.

[CherryRedismyFaveColour]

Since my peri-menopausal journey began my anxiety and low mood has ramped up significantly. This manifests itself in some pretty extreme ways.

Firstly I convinced myself I was going insane and I was going to be taken away in a white van never to see my children again. HRT took the edge off my anxiety and the doctor told me that if she had a pound for every upset menopausal woman who said this.......and I believed her.

I am OK with that one now as I realise that I am not mad, I am going through the menopause.

However, my new obsession is that my marriage is going to end. We have been together a long time, it's boring and it is either going to end organically or he is going to run off with someone else because he has realised he is bored too. This is actually causing me a lot of upset because on the one hand I am thinking all the above, but on the other I know that I really love my DH and I want to grow old with him and walk along holding hands with him when I am 80. I know this because he had a big health scare last year and I immediately jumped to his side and would have given up my life to save his there and then.

I took off my wedding ring a week ago to clean and I haven't put it back on because I am feeling a bit towards him. I keep asking him if he still loves me and he says yes but I am not convinced.

I'm knackered, I've had no sleep and I don't know if my HRT is enough as I am still in the early stages. I really do not want to break up with my DH even though I feel he takes me for granted.

Is the menopause making me go through a mid life crisis at the same time? Is this why women go for CBT?

You're on HRT even though you haven't started the menopause yet? I didn't know that was an option. I'm 47 and really moody, anxious, forgetful, etc. Could I get HRT already?

Anyway, back to you.. CBT would be great. But hormones can affect your emotional moods hugely (think, PMT). Being tearful and clingy sounds 100% hormonal. Maybe too much oestrogen or too-strong progesterone. I'd probably go back to the GP to ask for counselling, and maybe discuss whether the emotional swings might be improved by a lighter dose of HRT.

And put your ring back on. 😊

Yes peri-menopausal women are sometimes given HRT.

The same! I Started HRT during my peri when I started to have severe symptoms and it is common practice. We don’t have to wait a year or so.

I think you should see a counsellor or a cbt therapist who deals with anxiety and 'catastrophising' . Your thoughts are irrational, so it might be worth trying a talking therapy.

ps you don't need a lower dose of HRT! You DO need to give it 3 months at least to really work.

I think you are right Jingle. Just had massive melt down and told DH that he doesn't really care about me, he's just waiting till my youngest is 18 and then I'm sure he's going to bugger off with someone 20 years younger and screw me over re the house etc. Poor bloke.

I do catastrophise. It's my nature. But it's never been this bad. I think hormones have magnified it.

My aunt was telling me last week that when she was going through this stage she frequently thought of leaving her dh and was convinced they would separate.

They are still together 30 years later 😊

Anxiety with the menopause is the worst, perhaps gp back to your gp and ask for a review of your medication to see if they can offer anything else.

I think I could have written your post. I have just started to see a therapist alongside that I am starting HRT next week. I am post menopause but I am convinced my DH hates me, is waiting for an opportunity to leave me, I think I am ugly and a horrible person. Until the menopause I was a level headed, not very emotionally attached person. We have never been a slushy couple but 30 years in I am asking for empathy and stuff he just can’t give. I feel sorry for him but I also feel sorry for myself and I am expecting miracles from this therapy and HRT. But to be fair I don’t think it can get any worse so if I were you I would go for it and talk to someone who isn’t so emotionally involved.

Yep that all sounds very familiar. My DH goes a bit pale if I mention those years when I was going through peri. It’s important to find the right hrt for you, the one I was on originally helped with physical symptoms but didn’t help with my mind.

The one I’m on now is much better, I’m far more reasonable. I started hrt a bit late into peri probably. I also take Agnes castus for the Rage...exercise and try and eat healthily...in fact doing the stuff that’s recommended for mild depression. It helps my confidence and helps with my relationship.

It is possible that you and your husband do need some help for the next stage. Getting your hormones sorted could make a big difference.

You need to look at your diet

Your diet dramatically affects your hormones and yours sound all over the place. And yes diet can affect your anxiety levels and brain fog

Start by looking at your sugar / carb intake