Help!

[Chocoholic1972]

I feel like I'm going out of my mind. I've suffered with anxiety all my life and have taken anti depressants for years. I'm 46, have had two six month gaps in my periods. I don't have sweats but I do have palpitations where I feel my heart is pounding out of my chest. I have a daughter 15 who has had to be home schooled for 3 years due to anxiety and has recently started college thankfully. I've been under a tremendous amount of stress. I feel like I'm in a fog, on edge, tense and worrying excessively about DDs happiness. My marriage is affected as I just feel irritated and frustrated by everything that needs doing in the house as we've let things slide whilst caring for my daughter. My DH seems oblivious to it. I feel like I'm going out of my mind and I'm beginning to wonder whether this is down to being peri menopausal and what I can do. I've given up alcohol and caffeine any advice would be welcome.

Sorry to hear about your problems and yes the peri-menopause and hormonal upheaval can dramatically affect the way you are able to cope with problems that you would otherwise have coped with.

This is most likely in your case - due to your lack of periods. If you have been taking ADs then depending on the type, these can mask menopausal symptoms of flushes and sweats in some women - (some ADs are used to treat flushes etc in women who can't take HRT due to breast cancer among other reasons). Palpitations are typical too of menopause.

Lifestyle issues are of course vital - improve diet, take more exercise, reduce stress ( a diffficult one!), get enough sleep, midfulness and other behavioural/psychological techinques are also recommended and can help. However as well as that I strongly recommend HRT - in fact the medical profession (and current menopause guidelines) recommends it in someone of your age as you are going through the menopause several years younger than the natural average age of menopause of 51/52 so you should ideally be replacing oestrogen to help protect your heart and bones.

There are lots of different types available - sometimes takes a few goes to start with - but when you find the right one at the right dose hopefully you will be amazed at the difference it makes!

Same here choco it's horrible isn't it ? I've just started AD's in the hope that it'll help (advice from pharmacist) so may be worth asking to increase your dose temporarily ? Or HRT as bellaciao suggests. I also used Kalms for a good while, but eventually they weren't strong enough. Also if there is any possibility of "me time", even for an hour, grab it with both hands...not easy when you are used to putting everyone else's needs first, but essential just to allow yourself some calm...

You aren't going out of your mind lovely, it just feels like it

Thank you Bellacio for taking the time to respond. I take sertraline and had no idea that these could stop the hot flushes. I thought because I wasn't getting them that maybe I wasn't peri menopausal and it was stress that had affected my periods. The more I read though the more I'm convinced that I am peri menopausal. I really don't know much about HRT and I guess I need to do my research. Feeling like this is horrendous. My initial reaction is don't interfere and what about the risks of breast cancer? I'll start having a read ...

Thank you Peach. Just reading these kind replies and being called 'lovely' is helping! Didn't realise how alone I'm feeling with it all. Xx

Choco I was in the same boat a year ago at 42. Things will be better with time and risks actually are minimal under 50 and tiny afterwards. I am convinced that the risks with no taking it are higher! With hrt you will feel normal again for sure! Hope it helps!:)

Thanks Emerald. I'm definitely going to have a look at it

Glad we can help dear girl, I felt very alone with it as well, but having admitted my state of mind to the pharmacist it was obvious that more women struggle with this than don't - she said that more than half her female customers come in asking for help with the same thing, or variations of it. My ADs haven't quite kicked in yet so I'm still very jittery and irritable, but just keep reminding myself "it's the hormones" rather than how I really feel...I have also deliberately eased up on commitments (work and home) to cut myself some slack 🙃

Peach you are a peach. Never posted on here before but I'm glad I did.

It all started like this for me and took almost two years to realise that it was the perimenopause. Ididnt have hot flushes and periods all over the place, stopping for 4 months, then flooding every 2 weeks.

I think I started the menopause 6 years ago but only in the past few months have the flushes started on a daily basis. My mum also had a long perimenopause but all her symptoms almost stop when she was officially menopause (no period for 12xmonths), so hope it will be the same for me.

Managing the menopause is both managing the symptoms directly but also managing to accept them.