Being a bitch.

[SpiritedLondon]

This is how I’m feeling at the moment. I am having the worst mood swings ever and I can’t work out if it’s the menopause ( or perimenopause more accurately) or because I’m on a strict diet ( to deal with high blood sugar). I’ve been suffering with very low moods and a feeling of “ flatness “ for about 9 months. I’ve started to wake up ridiculously early ( sometimes 04.00am) even though I’m working long hours and feel tired. My periods have become a bit inconsistent - arriving a week early and lasting 7 days not 4. No hot flushes or anything. Today I was feeling absolutely fine but suddenly switched into massive irritability over completely trivial matters. It’s feels like bad PMT even though my period is not due. I ended up snapping at my DD6 and DH several times and crying in the bedroom because my dinner kept sticking to the frying pan. ( I know, I know, I told you it was trivial). What the hell is wrong with me? Why am I being such a bitch? And mores to the point what can I do about it?

I’m 48 by the way!

I'm 48 too and have been having exactly the same mood swings.One minute I've been feeling very low and in tears, the next minute I feel so wound up and angry but nothing has triggered it and I've felt completely unstable. My periods have gone from being irregular and quite a bit heavier.

On reading some books on perimenopause I would say it is most likely perimenopause. I have friends who've told me they regularly felt like they wanted to punch their DH's even though the poor chaps had done nothing wrong.

I went to the doctor's who has ordered a blood test and is checking for an under active thyroid ( this apparently can cause the same symptoms) and checking hormone levels for perimenopause. I would get yourself to the GP. It's bloody horrible and I totally know how you feel when your moods are so all over the place and you know you're being a cow to your loved ones but can't seem to stop it and it's just not you. Have a look on Amazon there's some really good books on the menopause and mood swings

If only I could concentrate long enough to read a book... I was always such an avid reader and now I have the concentration levels of a 3 year old. It’s interesting about the thyroid - I have Graves Disease which is a thyroid condition but my symptoms were not like this.... very fast heart rate and hair loss being two of them ( plus a shit load of weight loss, subsequently regained sadly) I guess it’s back to the Drs I go.... my mum was always trying to get me to go to the Margaret Pike centre which apparently did a menopause clinic but I can’t find evidence of that anymore ( just contraception advice ). It would be good to have a discussion with someone specialised. I happen to think my GP is pretty sympathetic but I can never get over the feeling I’m being rushed out the door.

Oh and thanks @celticmissy for taking the time to reply. It’s a grim old business. Good luck yourself finding a solution.

I'm 26 and i had radiotherapy in February which pushed me into early menopause.

I can tell you guys I know exactly how your feeling,I recently got HRT patches and they are slightly easing the symptoms..but wow at least 30 more years of this 😭

it's the pure blinding rage that flares up from nowhere that drives me mad. Switched to continuous HRT recently instead of sequential (am 54) but the constant bleedthrough was so annoying that I gave up on them about 3 weeks ago. Bleedthrough has stopped, flushes not yet returned (please God let it stay that way) but the rages are back with a vengeance over the slightest thing. Told DH i was coming off the HRT and he just said resignedly "Better get the hard hat back out then"

No answers here but you are certainly not alone. I'm 47 and feel quite murderous at times for no apparent reason. Now you've mentioned it I think unstable is a good way to describe it

My periods are also varying in a similar pattern, arriving really early, lasting longer.

I haven't been to doctors but at moment I'm just waiting it or to see how bad it gets.

and for all of us.

I forgot to mention the almost hourly hot flushes. So attractive to have sweat pouring down your face in work!

omg beyondthesky, don't frighten me. I had a few days in teh summer where I was getting flushes but I just sat there composed, didn't move, and nobody knew. Obviously. Do they get so bad that sweat rolls off your face? Are you exaggerating ?!

I am 50 and have had exactly the same symptoms for the last 2 years. It's definitely linked to menopause. I have found the only thing that has worked to make me feel normal again is a low dose antidepressant. I now take Sertraline and feel like I have come out of a black hole. It's also had an added bonus of reducing my appetite. I have lost weight and no longer crave carbs and junk.

This is the thread for me today! Genuinely only came on here to search for help about how to control my hormonal temper. Am 43, periods always regular as clockwork until 6 months ago, and now I veer between being really cold / boiling, and a polite person would describe my temper as "unpredictable" But in all seriousness, I need to get a grip on that side of it, I am a single parent with DC with additional needs and I can't be scaring them by getting al shouty. Any tips? Please????!

ImNotonLinkedInNo I don’t have hot flushes but my colleague does and I can see when she’s having one. We sit in a little menopause corner... her dripping and me weeping... it’s such a great look . Someone recommended Black Cohosh to me but everyone on the reviews discusses it for the hot sweats but not mood swings. I do have a menopause supplement that I’ve started taking about 10 days ago that’s seemingly doing fuck all apart from making my mouth dry - or maybe that’s another delightful menopause symptom I’m experiencing.

I am 49 and have had similar symptoms that have got worse over last 9 months to 18 months. I went to doc 6 months ago and she suggested HRT. Went back this week as my mood swings and exhaustion was horrendous . Now on 4th day if Elleste Duet 1mg and my anxiety and mood swings so much better already. Doc says it takes 6 to 8 weeks to kick in so maybe placebo effect. But so glad I decided to try HRT as I was in tears or angry 24/7 and now feeling on an even keel and no longer overwhelmed . Good luck.

Well that’s good news @yummyeclair did you have other symptoms or just the mood swings? I suspect my Dr won’t want to put me on HRT until I’m further along but I can’t seriously live being this miserable.

I had hot flushes, night sweats, severe loss of confidence, brain not working at work at home - would freeze up at doing regular routine work tasks which would take me double time, Good sex drive to zilch. , being oversensitive to husband, shouting at kids who are in infant school, no patience, not wanting to get out of bed, dreading each new day, feeling I was a useless all round mummy and wife, periods from 2 months apart to 19 days apart, aching joints, bones, in tears when by myself,. As PP said to the extent of having murderous thoughts and not feeling joy at things I usually love doing. I could also sleep all day. Before this I was a happy easy going person, not fazed and with odd mood swings. I just felt like this isn't me at all. Did take me 3 different doctor's and keeping a log of symptoms daily plus joining gym and trying other usual things before doctor was convinced. Plus it was impacting my kids . So do preserve with doctor's if you want to try HRT. I felt I had tried everything else. Good luck. X

Can't spell the P word meaning - don't give up , keep trying!

Horrible isn’t it. I’ve horrified myself by being a massive cow on and off recently (i’m 47, periods still quite regular but had a blood test at the GP that confirmed perimenopause).

What helps me is cutting right back on alcohol and dietary sugar - i’m convinced it has some beneficial effect on my mood/hormones although I don’t know what the scientific explanation is. Problem is it’s hard to stick to it long-term. I definitely feel more ragey when i’ve been drinking or eating a lot of refined carbs and sugar.

I think, if you can afford it, it’s also worth seeing a private menopause specialist. An older friend in her mid-50s recently did this - £1400 for three consultations and a three month supply of personalised HRT and testosterone. She says it’s made an amazing difference. Hell of a lot of money though and I don’t know whether they can do much for you if you aren’t officially menopausal

You can ask for medical help and don’t let yourself suffer. You can have hrt during peri if you have symptoms and it affects your quality of life. I diagnosed with early meno at 42 but I guess it started 2 years ago with mood changes and tiredness.

I'm the same. I'm 39 and thought I would have another few years before it hit, but apparently not. DH and I have had a huge row today over something really stupid (he couldn't connect the iPod to the Bluetooth in the car, I got impatient and told him he was useless and to give it to me). When I got back in the house he said something sarky and I just snapped, called him a cunt (I don't usually even use that world and tell him off if he does) and said that he was milking his illness, and being sick was no excuse. I was so vile to him, I'm crying even writing this because I'm so ashamed, but he told me to divorce him if I was so unhappy, and I told him there was no point because it wouldn't be for much longer anyway. He hasn't spoken to me since or even made me a cup of tea, and he usually does that even if we have fallen out. And I know I deserve his censure, because I know it was just the red mist falling. Now it has passed and I don't know how to make it up to him, given I have basically told a dying man that he's not got much longer to live. I'm such a bitch. I know it's hormonal but it's not his fault that I am, and he is bearing the brunt of it. My GP won't put me on HRT because I have occasional periods.

Andnone I was given hrt with almost regular periods and with severe symptoms.
I guess you can ask his forgiveness if it is not so difficult for you to say that you are sorry for your behavior.
It is amazing the impact hormones can have on our psychology, brain function and emotions. A friend said to me yesterday that it sounds to her that I have a middle age crisis but I am sure that it’s hormonal and not psychological.

@AndNoneForGretchenWieners - wow it sounds like you’re in a horrific situation there.... incredibly stressful. I have absolutely no idea what you’re experiencing but can only imagine that managing this god awful mood swing on top of this huge pressure must be so difficult. I think you just have try and explain what it’s like to him... how involuntary it is. I was talking to my mum earlier and decided to keep a log of my symptoms and severity to show the GP - otherwise I think it’s easy to brush it off as a simple bad mood / feeling low when in reality it’s a stabby rage. If my GP doesn’t suggest something ( I think she will) then i’ll explore menopause clinics elsewhere if such a thing exists.