Menopause and insane behaviour

[LER1968]

I’ve been in the menopause for the last 18 months or so and, apart from the hot flushes and sleepless nights, I thought I could deal with it without medication. But, my irrational behaviour is beginning to affect my marriage and this morning my husband caught me looking at his work phone to see if he was having an affair. I have absolutely no reason to suspect him and when I’m rational I can be objective and realise that he isn’t. I feel like I become a different person and I cannot stop crying and thinking extremely negative thoughts. Does this sound familiar? I feel like I’m losing my mind! Help!

Menopause can affect your confidence and self esteem. Yeah it sounds familiar but you can change it! Try to control your thoughts and your feelings!

Thanks Emerald13, I do try!

I found the falling oestrogen was having a bizzare effect on my moods, basically I was in that irrational PMT phase I used to get - but pretty much all the time.

HRT really helped smooth it out and also let me get more sleep in order to act more rationally! Also agnus castus - not sure if that's just placebo but GP recommended it so I gave it a try.

I feel like I am in a constant state of PMT, that is badly effecting my relationships - to the point I am considering divorce!

My doctor says I am too young (45!) and won't consider it could be menopause or giving hrt, she will only offer me antidepressants which I don't really want.

lala change gps and read the NICE guidelines on menopause. X

I think it must be the line they take at my gp practice, I have seen 2 different GP's (last time I saw my own GP was when I had 6 week check for my 10 year old, but that's another story!) and both completely dismissed the possibility of menopause based on my age.

What had really annoyed me about the guidelines is that is says only offer blood test for 40-45 years olds, I went a year ago and Dr said blood test pointless. It's all about the money really isn't it?

Lala - I have just turned 46 and went to the dr late last year age 45 and he diagnosed early menopause and suggested antidepressants but I refused as I dont want to be on them. I am now on HRT - trying differnet versions of. See another dr - yours is not right!

They can't have it both ways lala! The point about no tests for over-45s is that they are supposed to treat the symptoms not use money for blood tests.

Take a list of all your symptoms. Tell them they are peri meno. Tell them that age of meno is 45-55.

Ask for HRT and if they refuse, ask what medical grounds there are for it. You have a RIGHT to treatment for any condition unless you have a medical issue that would make it dangerous.

Advise them too that there are no risks with HRT before the age of the average menopause (51) so if they try to withhold it on that basis you are going to have to put them right. If they still refuse, ask for a referral to a gynae, on the basis the GPs don't know how to manage your symptoms. You really need to lay it on about how much your symptoms are affecting your marriage.

Thank you so much, I think I am going to make another appointment and I will try and make them listen.

Maybe now I am over 45 they might take more notice - I am willing to beg/argue if necessary as I really can't go on like this.

LER1968 I think my most irrational moment so far resulted in me scrubbing the walls in tears over a light smudge normal me would have just dealt with but in that moment I felt like everyone would judge me on that and that it showed I was horrible at everything. I'm still working through it though I've found some menopause support vitamins help at least keep the worst of the negative irrationality at bay.

It's very concerning these practices only offering anti-depressants and saying people are too young. I was diagnosed at 28 after a scan and tests over some months. I'm not currently on HRT due to another condition putting me at high stroke risk and I'm managing well enough-ish so far that my doctors aren't sure whether the risks will outweigh the benefits for me, but early menopause has a range of risks and considerations of its own that too many GPs seem to be ignoring.

PeridotCricket - do you think that that the agnus castus helped?

My doctor says I am too young (45!) and won't consider it could be menopause or giving hrt, she will only offer me antidepressants which I don't really want.

Well, mine did that and now I have osteoporosis. So you need to either see a different GP or just keep on and on and on at them.

Am watching with interest

I think I’m having an early menopause, have just been offered anti depressants which I do. It think I need.

Angus castus, yes it helped, but it was the HRT what cracked it.

Antidepressants actually lessen bone density

www.betterbones.com/tag/antidepressants-and-osteoporosis/

With MY personal history - of having a decade without dairy due to severe allergies, prescription medication of steroids and PPIs - any doctor worth their salt should have picked up on my early menopause and listened to me [particularly as my mother had an early menopause which I told them 9 years ago when I first went to them] and the potential for osteoporosis and acted on it. But no.

www.betterbones.com/tag/antidepressants-and-osteoporosis/

When my DM went through the menopause her mental health was affected. At times you could see it in her eyes that she was miserable and anxious. It turned to be her thyroid and she was exhausted from not sleeping so it just made her feel low and anxious. Now she is back to her normal self. Your post sounds exactly like my mum. I would go to the doctors.

I was on here a few weeks ago asking about HRT and had some very supportive responses. I am now in week 3 of HRT (eostrogen and progesterone). I am waiting for it to kick in properly but do feel better already.

For me the worst part of peri-menopause was the anxiety, the irrational thinking and the depression I felt. I also had very disruptive sleep that compounded the above. I didn't really care about the physical symptoms as the above trumped everything. I cannot stand to feel anxious as it then manifests itself in the most horrible ways. I was having the most horrible thoughts and was convinced I was going crazy or having a mental breakdown and then I would become very scared that I was going to do something that endangered those I love. It was awful. I think I don't handle feeling anxious very well because my mum died very suddenly when I was a teenager and I had very bad anxiety for a while after this. This sudden onset of anxiety out of nowhere reminds me of a horrible time in my life. This is what made me ditch my natural remedies and go to the HRT.

My GP (meno specialist) said that she hears women saying they think they are crazy all the time. She said the other one she hears a lot is women being terrified they have early dementia.

Just wanted to send OP a big hug and let her know that how she is feeling is natural. Not many women openly talk about this. We are very much suffering in silence and hiding our terror behind a forced smile.

Sorry, just wanted to add to my penultimate paragraph that my GP said it is the severe fluctuations in oestrogen that make me feel this way and balancing out my hormones should reduce this. She also added that she sees lots of women like me (still regular cycles and periods) but horrendous PMT and peri symptoms and very often we have a terrible peri M and then coast through the rest of menopause. Please God, let me be one fo them!!!

I've done some really insane things - mainly picking arguments with people - over the last year. I actually thought I was losing my mind. I get absolutely stroppy and so irrationally angry with people over the most ridiculous things. Luckily not my family or dh! I am going to see the gp next week.

I do that too Milady. The craziest most recent thing was I was on an overnight ferry and I spent all night awake worried that I was going to get up in the middle of the night and jump off the ferry.

Luckily I made it back

The craziest most recent thing was I was on an overnight ferry and I spent all night awake worried that I was going to get up in the middle of the night and jump off the ferry.

Sorry but that made me Lol. I am exactly the same

This is me. My PMT is insane. Last week I decided I was going to be an architect (sadly not realistic). My emotions are up and down all over the place. This morning I felt great, now I just want to curl up under my duvet. Sometimes I do feel like I'm going crazy. Lots of anxiety, some depression, some massive low confidence. Last week's craziness means I'm struggling to trust my judgement. Oh and the RAGE and irritability

I really hope that GP who said bad peri = ok menopause is right.

Wondering if I should go to my GP. Women in my family don't react well to additional hormones (pill etc), I have enough trouble with my own, I'm reticent to add others.

Could really do without this !!!

Interesting thread. I went to GP and was Told that I was still having regular cycles so no need for HRT. Just take b6.
I feel like I’ve got PMT most of the time and have some absolutely insane moments of anxiety mostly around the DCd but also including health worries about early onset dementia.

Don’t feeli can go back to the GP for them to tell me again ‘it’s just your age’

Watching this post closely as I feel the same as most of you....I'm only going to be 40 next month and for the last 6 months I have permanent PMT......
Think I'm too young even for Peri??! Wish I had an excuse for my crazy erratic behaviour.....!