Know it's the peri-menopause but obsessing I'm going insane

[TypicallyNorthern]

I realised today that I think I have been peri-menopausal for 3-4+ years. I moved back to the UK around this time and thought the move had screwed up my periods as they became more frequent and very, heavy. Even flood like. Over the past 6 months they have become lighter, still regular as clockwork, but shorter.

The main symptom I have noticed is low mood. In fact I have had a few panic attacks and can no longer deal with being hemmed in anywhere (plane, dentist, sitting in an audience unless at back near exit). I've also, in the last 6 months had night sweats and insomnia. I thought I was just hot but my DH noticed this morning that I was wringing wet whereas he wasn't.

Over the past 3 months my symptoms have gotten worse. This month I am having very terrible mood swings and debilitating anxiety, very similar to when I took drugs for fertility treatment. I am shattered and have been going to bed at 8pm. I got into an car rage with someone who beeped me last night and thought I was going to punch her! I've also had terrible PMS.

I did go to a private GP 2 months ago and she gave me some gel to take for 10 days before my period because I had all the above just before menstruation. However, it now seems that this month I have awful symptoms around ovulation. I am not opposed to HRT. I just wanted to make sure I was taking it when I really needed it as I didn't want to waste some months as I don't want to be on it for ever.

Anyway, the purpose of this thread is to see if anyone else feels the same way as me. Not the symptoms but that they are going mad. I look at my symptoms and acknowledge they are peri-meno but then I question it and get all stressed that I am just going mad and one day I am going to be carted away in a straight jacket never to see my family again.

Anyone else feel stressed that they feel like they are going mad?

Also, is there light at the end of the tunnel? I estimate that this all started 3-4 years ago. I am 49. I think I could cope better if I knew it had an end date.

Yes, I know how you feel. I'm 48 and am sure I've been peri for about 3-4 years. Night sweats, insomnia, total exhaustion, brain fog, anxiety, depression. Periods still regular but lighter and shorter.

The only positive news is that the above symptoms are not present all the time. ie I'll have night sweats for a couple of weeks and then nothing for months.

I do think I'm going a bit mad, but as I get older, I just don't care! I'm enjoying the madness and not giving a damn what anyone thinks!

The same! I couldn’t recognize myself a year ago when I diagnosed with early meno at 42. I had brain fog, suicidal thoughts, low mood, crying a lot, obsessive thinking about aging and death, anxiety, loss of confidence and a strong sense that I am not myself anymore. Things are completely different now. :)

I'm 47 and went to my GP a few weeks back..... and sat and cried in the surgery . My mood gets really really low, night sweats, insomnia, indescribable rage over nothing, and awful awful palpitations......... it's bloody crap to be honest. I've got a Mirena fitted, and because of that the GP felt I needed an SSRI rather than HRT but I'm not going down that road.

Six years since my last period I still get symptoms like yours. But now I just cuss to myself and get on with life. Knowledge is power I think. I hate the palpitations (had heart checked by private consultant), sweats, brain fog (you start imagining alzheimers) keeping your weight down is next to impossible unless you live on fish/chicken, vegetables and salads. Oh and your tolerance for alcohol goes out the window.

Im 48
You are scaring me. I feel fine. Periods v unpredictable tho. Always have STs in my bag. Ive had a couple of frighteningly heavy periods but so far thank god not at work. No night sweats but at least id b home for that. Dreading something weird or embarrassing happening at work. I feel stronger mentally than i have for years. Feels like a mental adjustment; preparing for not being attractive - but feel ok about it, like i have strength im only at the tip of the iceberg of discovering. I thought that was a hormonal shift.

I've had to have a couple of full and frank conversations with my boss over the last six months, because of the symptoms you've described affecting me so much that I thought I'd lose my job. Feeling overwhelmed, disorganised, clumsy, hot, sweaty, panic attacks, and absolute rage like I've never known. I haven't really had troublesome periods and thought I'd breeze through the change in a similar way, without needing any chemical intervention. Turns out I would have crawled over a bus lane of broken glass to get HRT prescribed. I'm 5 months in and saw a difference within a month (the rages went) and now I can feel a bit more organised and ready to face the day rather than dread it.

If you feel you need it, try it. If you don't like it, come off it. Easy.

HyacinthBougquet why dont you want to go down the route of SSRI's? Just asking because I've been on low dose anti D for about 10 years and my female doctor said a couple of years ago it would be an idea to stay on them to help me through the menopause. At a medication review last year, a male doctor told me to think about coming off them!! Just wondering if I should be listening to him rather than her!

I too have the brain fog, the lack of concentration, occasional hot sweats, mood dips, clumsy, disorganised......... not all the time (which is almost worse) but often enough that you just think its getting better when back the symptoms come! I'm 49 so assume its peri-menopause but had Mirena coil fitted last year which will hopefully help with symptoms too! With this and the Anti-D plus daily exercise and healthy-ish eating I'm really hoping to get through the next few years without too much hassle!!

@Blobby10 HyacinthBougquet why dont you want to go down the route of SSRI's? Just asking because I've been on low dose anti D for about 10 years and my female doctor said a couple of years ago it would be an idea to stay on them to help me through the menopause.

Maybe because it's against medical advice now? NICE guidelines say quite rightly that ADs are only for women who are daignosed as depressed, not with peri symptoms. Your dr is out of touch and you ought not to use ADs for meno.

menopausedoctor.co.uk/what-is-the-menopause/women-need-hrt-not-antidepressants/

The Mirena is not a treatment for meno symptoms. It releases progestogen as you will know. That on its own may make peri worse! (It's the 'PMS' hormone!)

One of the best combos is the Mirena plus estrogen (tablet, patch, gel.)

QueenoftheNights I wasn't aware of that but I was diagnosed with depression a few years ago and despite trying to come off the AD's a few times, a rubbish couple of years culminating in separation then divorce meant I needed them to keep from plunging into the black hole of despair again. As it's only the low dose, Dr said I'm ok to stay on them indefinitely and that it MAY help me during meno. They weren't suggesting it as a treatment for peri symptoms.

Brain fog means I have totally lost track of what hormone does what! So I wrongly interpreted the doctors "you can leave this in til your through menopause" as the coil helping through that time!

Thanks for clarification though.

I started suffering from night sweats and severe insomnia a few months ago. It was really shit. I started taking Black Cohosh in desperation as there was a 3.5 week wait for a GP appointment (I was going to ask for HRT). To my surprise the Black Cohosh seems to be working well, fingers crossed. My sleeping is vastly improved and so are the sweats. Something to consider?