So hot and miserable

[AntimonySalts]

Good evening ladies,

I'm not sure where else to turn. I am so hot. It is unspeakable. Not hot flashes - it's all the time. I feel as if I'm dying now, and I know it will be even worse in an hour or so, when I go to bed.

Bed involves lying there with a fan on, the window open (despite noisy main road), and a thin cotton sheet. Wearing nothing (goes against the grain, but still). I put the sheet on. I wake up, boiling hot. I remove the sheet. I get cold. I put it back on. I get hot. Remove it. Get cold. And so on, for the whole of the night. Not sharing a bed with anyone, so I'm not getting heat from anyone else.

I've posted this in Menopause, because I'm sure it's peri (I'm 46 - GP has sent me for bloods to rule out a thyroid problem, as she says the symptoms are similar. I had the tests a week ago, but haven't heard anything, which suggests they are normal: she said she would assume peri if nothing else showed up) - but can anyone offer any advice at all? Please????? I just want to sleep.

Have you tried wearing wet clothes? Nothing menop related, but always what I've done when the weather is very hot. Soak a shirt & pull it on. Also, fully soak your hair in cold water.

Also I don't understand duvets at all when the weather is warm -- use thin blankets instead.

wet flannel/wipes left on face saved me last week when i was in hospital

also tepid hair wash before bed helps

Thank you, both. I will rescue a flannel from the festering collection in DD's bedroom. Duvets are a thing of the past!! Just one thin cotton sheet, and I still get in a hot muddle...

furlined sorry you were in hosp. I hope you are ok now...

Practical things that helped me (and I know not everyone, might be I’m gullible but it eased symptoms).
Drink more water - cold (I already did drink a lot)
Exercise more (walk, yoga, Pilates), if you already do, do a little bit more, or something new
Eat more veg and fruit
Record when things are worse, plan day around that (e,g lying down in bed, I go through the routine, plan my hot flush and then sit back up and get back on with what I wanted)
Loss weight, be hungry- even slight weight loss, eg today, tomorrow back up. The day of/after the weight loss is better
The 5:2 eating plan helped me
Soy based things (menopause symptoms are less felt in countries more reliant on soy)
Keep more lists,
Avoid spice, eating late, much of mine on a night I think are tied to my digestive system working
Have a routine
Learn to flip your pillow during the night for the cool side!!
Record what your doing when it’s worse/better- work out things that help and make better, this really helped me feel like I was getting control back
Layers- so you can quickly take off, put back on
I tan/burn more now in the sun- stay in the shade
A fan,
Turn off the heating, get bedroom as cold as you can, darkness
Keep skin moistured (cold from fridge)
Things like tea coffee had no effect, but too much cola =bad
Tonic water and ice

Sounds crazy, or just like some mundane generic advice that anyone would give. Persevere, make yourself the project. Record what helps, my memory also got worse so seeing it written helped. It gets better, not everyday- but overall. You’ll get back to normal, not the old normal- a nice bright shiny (and hot 😡) new normal

The only thing that make the difference for me is hrt. I feel like human again! :)

thanks ant - broken leg

hot and uncomfortable

AntimonySalts - if your periods have become very irregular then it is most likely peri-menopause at your age although your doc is right to test for other conditions that can cause overheating. For me and for many women so I've read, the "getting very hot" stage comes before the hot flushes andnight sweats....so you may well have those to come especially if your periods are irregular.

Thanks for the replies, especially @UniversallyUnchallenged. So I am not the only one who flips her pillows to the relatively cool side.

Emerald, I profoundly disagree with synthetic hormones, drugs, pills, etc. But now I am dying of heat, I would accept anything that will give me a break from feeling unspeakable.

Just seen yours, Bellacio. Thank you. As I say, I was completely evangelical about HRT being a Bad Thing. Have now changed my mind completely. A bit like a birth plan which doesn't quite work out.

Effing periods. They were 28 days to the minute. Now anything between 9 days and 53 days apart (I know, because I am sad and keep a diary). Oh, how I love those that are 9 days apart.

HRT. It will sort all of this. It's not the devil the press and some drs make it out to be.

Just read your posts in detail @antimonysalts .

Most HRT is not synthetic. There are a couple of types (anything brand starting with PRE ) but the rest is body identical. Estradiol and Utrogestan,m(micronised progesterone).
Exactly the same as the hormones you have yourself.

I am on HRT and although I still suffer it is nowhere near as bad. I put some water in hot water bottle and then freeze them. I put them at the end of the bed and have a fan on and it keeps the air cool. It makes such a difference.

Same here op. I'm 49 and am sure I'm peri menopausal. Its bloody awful. I'm thinking of looking in to hrt and I always swore I wouldn't do that.

Thanks, Queen. The GP printed off some info about HRT, which was very useful. She said I should go away and read and think, and she would see me again in a fortnight to discuss how to proceed.

Furlined, I tried the wet flannel last night. Still woke repeatedly, but it was nice to feel something cool. I've put it in the freezer today, so we will see how that works tonight. Sorry about the broken leg!

There is also a lot of info on different types of HRT on Menopause Matters website. Make sure you do your research before you go back to doc so that you can decide the type you want to try, Haha re thebirth plan - I was exactly the same re birth plan (1st birth went nothing like my plan) and ditto re HRT - want to do it all naturally! Eleven years on and still taking it.

Bellacio Best laid plans, etc, etc...

Thanks for reminding me about Menopause Matters, which I had forgotten about. And, yes, good idea to return to the GP prepared.

I’ve been prescribed HRT today - I finally cracked and practically begged for it. Been feeling like I can’t control my body temperature for years (always too hot or too cold, never ‘just right’) but recently had some long gaps between periods and have been getting awful hot flushes. Puts me off going anywhere! Have been prescribed a Janssen Cilag patch, but when I went to the pharmacy they didn’t have it in so I have to wait till tomorrow (I can’t remember what it’s called). I too really didn’t want to but I just feel so desperate 🙁. Never got on with the pill (awful migraines) so I’m not convinced this is for me, but I have to give it a try. I’ve been trying Menopace Plus but it didn’t work. If I remember I’ll let you know how it’s going OP.

BTW doctor didn’t do bloods but I had a thyroid function test fairly recently that came back as normal and I’m sure these symptoms are hormonal because they are linked to times when my periods go awol for a few months.

I've got a couple of these ice towels They work really well!

Have you tried Sage tablets? I was hot flushing it day and night and bloody miserable, so finally tried sage tablets which had been recommended to me months previously by someone but I didn’t think they would work so didn’t buy any until I was completely desperate! Literally no hot flushes within 24 hours of starting to take them - that was a month ago and even in this terrible heat I’m not getting them. Definitely definitely worth a go if you haven’t tried already. Get the strongest dose you can buy (from a health food shop probably) and fingers crossed

@DottyDotAgain Sage is worth a try but remember that in peri your hormones change daily. You might be ovulating this month which is why your flushes have gone. It's only been a month.

Just thinking of my own experience- I missed a period and had flushes for a month (at first.) If I'd taken sage thereafter I'd have sworn it was helping, but in fact my estrogen was rising again as I was entering another cycle.

My pattern during peri was miss a period, 4 normal ones, miss one, a few more normal ones...

I did try sage myself- fresh sage leaves from my garden made into tea. didn't do a thing for me.

@Jellycat what on earth is a Janssen Cilag patch? Never ever heard of that! (Is that the name of the manufacturer?)

Sorry to confuse you @QueenoftheNights!! Yes, it's the manufacturer's name. I couldn't remember the name of the patch - I left the scrip at the pharmacy. I could remember the manufacturer's name (used to work just down the road from their offices). Looking online I think it was probably Evorel Sequi because I am still having periods albeit they are irregular.

My pattern has been similar to yours BTW. Miss a period and get awful hot flushes. Enter another ovulatory cycle: hot flushes disappear (although I'm often too hot and rather sweaty but this is different to the flushes which are much more extreme!).

I think everyone goes through a phase of being against hrt.
And yes, this decision to never take hrt is a bit like a birth plan.... or a military strategy: it never survives contact with the enemy.

Even my GP was dead set against it until she went on a specialist course and she was experiencing the symptoms herself.

I think until the shit hits the fan and you are reeling from exhaustion, brain fog and no energy, snappy and irritated, with hair loss, saggy skin, repeated UTIs, no libido, middle aged spread, bumping into door jambs, suddenly not able to parallel park, and seem to have lost the strength to open jars, and getting increasingly unable to handle stress at work, everyone is in principle against it.... and then you find life so unbearable that you find you must do something.

Then hrt is a godsend.

I take bioidentical hrt, so no nasty chemicals, just quality controlled pharmaceutical grade human hormones, exactly chemically what you make yourself applied daily in a controlled way (gel and oil capsule) so I can tweak my dose.

I love my hrt.

Let me say that again, I love my hrt!

I’ve had a blissful transition into my second spring because of it.
Taken on a new improved role at work and am loving life.

Is it still the legacy of the outdated research that worries people about HRT?

Comments like 'I finally cracked and begged for it.'

Why don't people say the same about other meds for migraine or whatever????

Just curious!

I hate the idea that women 'resort' to HRT like it was a Class A drug or something.

WE should all be bloody grateful that we have something safe to help us compared to previous generations who put up with a load of symptoms, painful sex, depression, hunched backs through osteoporosis, flushes till their 80s ( sometimes), 'nerves' as my mum's friends used to say they had ( and spent decades on Prozac or housedound...).

I know @queenofthenights it makes no sense whatsoever to struggle with the perimenopause or menopausal symptoms.

If you sprained you ankle you wouldn’t hobble around, or if you had persistent insomnia you wouldn’t just put up with it.

It’s a mental battle experienced by a lot of women to begin to think “I’m worth it” even though as young women we are conditioned to think as we age our social value set by men lessens and we become invisible.

In a way going on hrt is quite a radical feminist act! I refuse to disappear, and I refuse to be judged as somehow less of a woman by men who only value young fertile women.

I know I have value as a 50 year old because I’m a woman and I’m educated and experienced. I no longer have to assess my social standing based on men’s appraisal or approval, and their ideas of fertility being my only social currency.

Hrt has been very liberating for me.
Not only physically to alleviate the symptoms of low oestrogen, but mentally I’m much stronger, and I really don’t care if I’m not ‘people pleasing’ anymore.