How do you know what stage you are at?

[Timefortea99]

Me, 53. Periods used to be every 28 days, 5 days long. In the last couple of years the periods appear every 24-28 days, but reduced to 3 days long. A few times in the last few years the periods were delayed and came at around the 40 day mark. It is now 43 days since my last period. The periods are no problem, occasional bloating and breast tenderness, but that is all.

Last few years I have been feeling a bit anxious, but only on weekdays and Sunday evenings, but I am stressed at my job, so the anxiety has a reason. My short term memory is shot, but I am learning French from an app and my memory is unaffected on that.

I have managed to lose 2 stones quite recently, I have good thick hair, good supple skin, no dryness. Feet sometimes hurt.

But for the last months I have suddenly been getting hot flushes. Very mild but they are there. About 4 a day. And I am hot at night - not sweaty, just hot which wakes me up, and then the cover dance the rest of the night - on, off.

I genuinely don’t know if I am at the end of peri, or in the middle. Should I be going to a GP for testing if the symptoms are manegable so far? Do flushes get worse or do they stay at the same intensity? Lots of questions but it seems such a complicated phase of life. Lots of women the same age as me who I know have suffered badly and are all on HRT with various degrees of success. I don’t feel that I am suffering in the same way, but is this the phoney war, will the big guns arrive soon?

How can you tell where you are in the cycle?

Clarification - flushes/night time heat appeared a month ago.

I guess folk go to GP when / if they feel overwhelmed.

Everyone's different but you're in the final stage of peri when you've gone 60 days without a period. After that studies have shown that 'normally' your final menstrual period will be within 2.5 and 3 years of that 60 day period.

GPs won't test as you're over 45 - they go by symptoms only at this stage. Flushes might get worse, might not, might intensify after your final period - again, we're all different.

Google straw menopause for more detail on the stages and good luck.

For what it's worth, my view is just keep peddling along and manage things as they crop up. Sounds like you're doing pretty good so far. Try not to overthink it and get worked up, as stress and anxiety can make flushes worse. Knowledge is power, so spend some time reading up on here and figure out what you might like to try, as everyone has different tactics. Hrt isn't for me but others rave about it. Sage supplements have knocked my awful flushes on the head and a wool or silk duvet can help to regulate your temperature. It's just another phase of life that you have to go with and yes, it can be bloody awful and can rage on for years but you can get through it!

Oh that's interesting @ParisUSM I have been peri I think for 4 years now (am 48) and last year didn't have a period for 3 months but they are back to normal now. I put it down to stress but now wondering if this is a sign that I'll be done by 50. Can you link to the studies?

I googled it, lots of info

ha! So much of the menop info is useless to people like me, who don't fit the 'normal'.
There's a lot of info online about things you can do to minimise hot flashes, OP. I've been doing them all my life.

Did you get everything you need study wise

There's this one too
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3232023/

After age 40, the median time from occurrence of these bleeding markers of late transition to FMP was on average 1.5-2.3 years for at least 90-days of amenorrhea

I'm 1.5 years since 90 days now so hoping I'm in the last year, and will be done by the time I'm 51.

56 days now - previously 26 and 37. Hot flushes and night sweats. Still getting the bloating when I am due on and the twinges, but no bleed.

I was 53 when my periods started to get further apart. That's when hot flushes started. I never went to the GP as I knew what was causing the hot flushes and wasn't planning to take HRT.
They were very intense for about two years then improved gradually as periods stopped. I do still get flushes sometimes at night 7 years later.

I was having dreadful hot flashes, they were really unbelievably unpleasant. I started taking sage tablets and I'm fine now. They really worked for me. I'd definitely recommend them.

I'm quite confused too.
I had routine bloods done and went to my GP for the results today. She discussed various things, cholesterol levels, blood pressure etc. but she also said my FSH levels are X which indicates that I've completed the menopause. (I can't remember what the figure for X was)
I had a few hot flushes in bed last summer but nothing else.
I've got a Mirena coil so no proper periods for a few years. I do get regular migraines which were linked to hormones and told by another GP years ago that they'd go after the menopause. They are definitely less frequent but not I still get them.

My cholesterol levels had dropped and I was so focussed on this that I didn't really ask about menopause stuff.

Can this really be it? Menopause come and gone?

I don't think they can say for definite from one blood test. My FSH was at post menopausal levels last time I got it tested, but I'm still having periods. Hopefully your migraines will go away completely once the last fluctuations are over.

It seems the menopause/preimenopausal is the most irregular and unpredictable time of our lives! I have no clue where I am. Regular periods until a few months ago. Hot flushes are on the rise - really unpleasant and far more frequent than in recent years. I have not had a period for two months (approx) and I am hoping that this is it! But there is no guarantee or definitive sign is there? I am 52 and can't wait for menopause to finally arrive! I wonder how well established it is....

I re-read this
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3340903/
quite often just to re-assure myself I'm near the end.

You're definitely near the end when you've gone two months without a period, unfortunately how close to the end is the great unknown, typically 1.5 - 2.3 years after 90 day break (sorry for repeating myself)

After I posted about my blood test results, I've had a spotting every day since plus several migraines and I feel knackered. I hope this is my body having a final hurrah and it stops soon.

So once you are near the end of the perimenopause (60 days clear) you can still potentially have symptoms for a further 1 and a half to 2 and a half years?! Bloody hell - I mean literally So what can I expect now? Bleeding? Hot flushes? Return of periods? It is al confusing. How has no research been done to more accurately estimate this for us? It is bewildering and frustating at a time when that is the last thing we need!

Hi corcaitthecat, do you think your Mirena might be failing? My friend has one that only lasted 2 years and had to be replaced recently. Strange that your spotting should start after a few years and sod's law it started as soon as you typed those words 'menopause come and gone'!

@ThespianTendencies

I totally agree, I think they're happy just to park us on HRT and some doctors seem bewildered that we want to actually understand what's happening to our bodies instead. I do seem to be following the stages some of the research has predicted pretty well so far so I'm sure more women follow the same sort of patterns than they think.

I think in peri 'expect the unexpected' is the motto to follow. You might be lucky and they might just stop straight away though.

ParisUSM - thanks for your response. I have not seen a doctor as I can manage my syptoms quite well and I don't think I am suffering as much as some others are. My symptoms have been going on for a few years I think - irregular periods, thought not so irregular they are a hinderance; hot flushes which have increased in frequency and intensity recently; definitely mood swings and alternating feelings of rage and low mood; anxiety etc. but they don;t happen all at once so I think you cope with each one as it occurs. I would like to know when it will al stop though! Especially periods themselves. If I know I have no more bleeds then the hot flushes are quite good collaterol damage!