How do I talk to work about my symptoms?

[alwaysthepessimist]

For background I have worked at the same company now for over 13 years, the office I am in just has me & 1 other bloke (an older guy, mid 60's, doesn't do being sick - in 13 years he has taken 1 day off).

So I started HRT last year - I am now on month 4, I am pretty young to be in full meno (according to my gp - I am 46), I am on kliovance, one a day. At first they seemed to help but the last month it has been horrific - my symptoms are as follows:

Irritability/mood swings
over emotional
exhausted beyond belief, sleep is disturbed each & every night
muscle aches & pains
Heart racing then feeling like I can't take a breath
daily headaches
Brain fog
struggling to cope with any change
Peeing constantly
No sex drive
Lack of interest in engaging with the world around me (happy to sit in a silent bubble)
Don't even want OH to touch me, hug me etc

I need to talk to work (the older guy as he is my superior) to explain how I am feeling but how & where do I start? I am going back to my GP next week, I have managed to get an appointment with a much sought after GP so don't want to go any sooner, ideally, right no, I want signing off for a week so I can basically go home and sleep. I don't like the thought of being signed off for being tired but I haven't got the holiday days to spare to just take a week off work, do I ask them if I can work shorter hours for now? Would that help? I am just not sure what or how to do it without coming across like a complete wuss & not manning up to it.

FWIW I also have an almost 6 year old - I started late with the babies so am constantly on the go anyway.

Not sure exactly what to advise but remembered this recent article in the Graun

www.theguardian.com/society/2018/jan/12/workplaces-should-cater-for-menopause-as-they-do-for-pregnancy

I would def talk to your manager if your symptoms are as bad as you say.

I guess I'll be having to think about this dilemma soon enough - I'm 50 this year but only mild peri symptoms so far

Thanks TanteRose I am dreading the chat to be honest but there are some days I literally just want to go home and cry because I just can't figure out what I am doing

Ask for shorter hours to start with - at least until you can get to your GP next week

I got menopausal at 44. Pretty difficult symptoms which lasted 9 years I guess. I never told work - it never occurred to me, I have a very senior job and didn't want the natural process I was going through to define how people saw me. Just chatted to friends about it now and again and got on with life.

You should be fine with HRT - are you sure you need to bring it up?

Bouledeneige No I am not sure, for now I am going to see this week out and see what the GP says next week - the appointment is in work hours so I will have to make something else up to get out for a while - especially if they are running late. Depending on what she says depends on how I go forward with it (or not as the case may be). I don't want to have to have the conversation at all so if I can avoid it I will.

Why do you have to make something up? Just tell him you have a doctors appt then go and tell the GP how you are feeling. It does sound a little like you may be depressed alongside going through menopause....2 different conditions
Hope you feel better soon

At your young age you ought not to feel like this on HRT!
Probably a dose of 1mg estrogen is too low. I'm on more than that and am early 60s. Because you are having an early-ish meno, you probably need 2mgs estrogen.

If HRT isn't doing the trick please go and see your GP and ask for an increase to 2 mgs. OR you could swap to something like estrogen gel, where you decide on the dose and what works- anything from just under 1mg to 3 mgs a day depending how much you use. You'd need to use a separate progestogen alongside for 12 days a month.

Hi! I have a very stressful job with a lot of responsibilities and I work by my own. I have patients who trust me, so I did my best not to make them anxious about my physical and mental health. I left my work for a month saying that I needed some time and I tried hrt. Everything just fine afterwards. I feel a bit tired sometimes but I think it's normal. Your hrt maybe it's not suitable for you, maybe you need a higher dose, as Polly said, or maybe there are other physical or psychological factors that cause you feel that way!

Some of that is not appropriate to share (physical relationship with your OH or sex drive).

I dunno. Many people in my office (male & female) are age ~50+. We seem to be pretty open about lots of signs of ageing. It's an office talking point. Forgetfulness, impatience, bad teeth, up in the night to wee, headaches, boredom, intolerance, low energy, weight gain, aches & pains, dizzy spells, terrible sleep patterns, a range of chronic conditions, etc. The gals are no worse than the blokes. 4 of us work less than FT hours; we all have flexitime. I assume the guys have prostate problems they don't discuss!

If your boss is the lucky guy who has never had any health issues & even weirder, knows no one your age+ who experiences ageing, then you still can be honest that you would like a work setup that suits your energy levels better. You're the more normal one. Maybe if you share a bit he'll come out with stuff he hasn't mentioned before.

If he's a bastard who won't have any sympathy then I dunno what you do, sorry. Is he actually your supervisor?

So I went today and saw the loveliest gp in the surgery, she has upped my dosage and arranged some other tests. There is only the 2 of us and he is my supervisor as such - I have broached the subject so he knows where I am at as I have to go back for an ECG and bloods but he hasn't asked anymore. Hopefully I will start feeling better soon as she has upped my dosage to 2mg - she said I was on too low a dose because of my age and she said the libido thing if it doesn't help that then she is going to refer me to see a specialist

You could start by telling work that you are dealing with a health issue that has x/y/z symptoms. Tell them you're receiving treatment but may need some accommodations when symptoms v bad.
All the best.

Glad it went Well, hope you feel better soon