Peri/menopause and Work

[Findingross]

Hi,
This is my first ever thread, so please be gentle with me.
I’m 47 and definitely changing. My cycle is a bit all over the place going from 3 weeks to 6. I’m anxious, I have night sweats (in the second half of my cycle) and have zero motivation.

I’ve booked an appointment with my GP as I feel so rotten but my biggest issue is that I started a new job almost two months ago and I’m really struggling to cope with feeling so tired and just off. I no longer recognise myself.

I am making the big assumption here that the route cause is related to the menopause but I just wanted to get some input from others on their experiences with work.
I am in an all male team and feel very uncomfortable with talking about this, plus trying to make a good impression (but not doing a very good job of it at all).

Would really appreciate some wise words before I just crumble.

There is a bit of a drive to get menopause accepted and discussed in the workplace, so maybe your HR dept has some initiatives?

But being practical you should seriously think about HRT, that's why it's there for quality of life. I started on it because I didn't want to live with hot flushes on the hour and people thinking I was blushing, and also for insomnia.

Thank you for replying Polly.
I’ve finally managed to book an appointment with my GP, but it isn’t until mid-December. Slightly worried about HRT as my mum had breast cancer recently and HRT was indicated as a possible cause.

However, I can’t carry on feeling this bad!

Our HR department is situated in another country and I’ve searched policies for some reference to it, but to no avail.

I’m just so worried that they’ll see me as a flaky woman who is often tired and not feeling well. It’s hard enough being new and on probation without feeling awful almost constantly.

Can’t wait for that GP appointment now!

I find it hard when people are told that HRT caused their cancer. I have asked my own consultant this and others (through work.) They all say the same thing which is now being accepted by most specialists- that HRT does not cause breast cancer but may promote the growth of an existing cancer in some women (who had it anyway even if it was just one cell). You will find this theory on Menopause Matters Home page under Blog written by the consultant.

I know it would still worry you but if you cannot work then it's not going to be easy either way.

Hi finding, sorry you are feeling so tired. I have been trying to talk about meno when needed at work ie in the context of discussing impact of health and stress on work with my line manager. Maybe you could ask to see occupational health if it continues to impact - however, if I am honest I would not do so while on probation. Maybe the way to approach it (for example if you are being told your performance is not up to scratch) would be to say 'I am having some health issues that are making me very tired. I am taking all the steps I can to manage this - eating well, sleeping well, exercise - and to minimise the impact on my work. I will get further advice from my GP and I hope this will help as well.' Mentioning hot flushes is usually understood by most people, if you feel OK to be more specific. They will have had partners, mothers etc with experience of meno too. Don't be afraid to ask for simple things like spreading breaks out, being able to get out for a short walk to refresh, or changing hours.

Thanks again Polly.
Very wise words. I accept that I really can’t carry on like this so will push for HRT.

Thanks Jasmine.
I’m not receiving any negative feedback at the moment but I’m extremely conscious of being different to my usual self (low confidence, quiet, feeling less productive).
I’ve just moved to permanent employment from having been a contractor for a number of years, it hindsight it was probably the wrong move (as I used to have a lot of flexibility and there were no HR hurdles!).
Yes, I’ve made reference to hot moments and have borrowed someone’s desk fan, but I struggle in meeting rooms as there isn’t any air conditioning and windows do not open.
Thanks for the ideas - I’ve got another month of probation and hopefully the visit to my GP will help.

If you can't have HRT, drink shed loads of fresh soya milk as it has loads of oestrogen in it! Start drinking it now to find the one you like and get some hot flush relief!

My guess is you are doing better at work than you think you are and your colleagues haven’t noticed. Good luck.

Soya does not work for everyone - in fact the research shows very little evidence for phytoestrogens from plants.

If you have a work fridge put some wet wipes in,very good for those flushes that make you a bit sweaty and cooling on the back of the neck,a friend at work uses them on her cleavage.

Hi! I can feel your embarrassment because of hot flashes and all these symptoms because of menopause. I chose not to tell to anybody. I think that it's too personal and I don't like to talk about. I definitely suggest hrt for quality of life and quality of work! Take care!