A cycle of perimenopausal symptoms

[Betrue2urself]

Around the time I should be having my period my perimenopausal symptoms are at their height, is this pretty typical? Also I have a history of depression, stress and anxiety and feel that this makes the situation worse. For a couple of days I can persuade myself that this Is just hormonal but some months the feelings drag on towards a second week and I start thinking it's my old mental health issues coming back. So currently my anxiety levels are high, my chest feels 'weird' - panicky I feel like I can't cope and I'm near to tears on a regular basis. My sleep is also disturbed and I'm having hot flushes. I can't remember the last time I had a period, last time I got to 8 months and I had a period so had to start counting again. Once I'm in to the menopause will it be better or worse? I guess the fluctuation in hormone levels should even out but sometimes I worry which is the real me!

I often feel overwhelmed and teary. Yesterday I had convinced myself I was a hopeless mum. I have had no period for over two years now. My worst symptom currently is palpitations. Horrible. If I can get myself out of my mood, by going out, walking dog or exercising then I now it's my hormones.

I have NEVER been or felt what it is like to feel low, moody or depressed in my entire life, only upbeat, jovial, carefree. Since last summer, the feelings of hopelessness, being overwhelmed at the prospect of only small tasks (ie weeding veggie patch, making dinner for the family), feeling short tempered, anxious with occasional palpitations have appeared from nowhere, i know it is the perimenopause, have missed a couple of periods or shortened cycles for the last year, i know we are not going mad AT ALL !! I have started hrt just under a month ago, i have kept a daily journal of all feelings, symptoms, side effects to refer myself, these last 4 days are marked by a couple of significant changes : i sleep all night without waking, i do not feel overwhelmed at all and have been getting up happy, also i have realised my ravenous appetite seems to have gone, it is only the beginning though, i look forward to more improvements, hopefully !

I think alL my tendencies have really got worse, a but like being a teen again.
For eg, I am motte scared of spiders than ever, my tendency to dither has got seismic, and my tendency to inertia and depression send to be back.
I tell myself it's ok I slow down, and it will all be over soon.....

Thank you for your responses. I woke up the next day feeling much better which was just as well as I had a 3 hour drive ahead of me! I know it sounds daft but when it gets bad it's difficult to see an end to it and I worry I've gone back to the bad old days. I used to feel like that (and worse) every day for years, decades even - at least now it's only a matter of days.