After a lifetime of period problems and an inability to conceive, 7 years ago a microwave endometrial ablation freed me from a life that was constant bleeding and a daily regime of high dosage pain management. My life changed. I became a high successful mature student with a first class BSc. Hons, a Merit MA and I had started a PhD. My husband and I enjoyed our life and our love.
I am 53 now and started to show clear peri-menopausal symptoms in the late autumn of last year.
From that moment I have gone from being a happy, vibrant, confident and loving woman, who was in training with a friend to run her first marathon, to the absolute mirror image of my former self. A woman who now has agrophobia and requires daily administration of pain management again (which has to be done by my husband, because I become confused and disorientated very quickly).
My gynaecologist has refused a hysterectomy on the grounds that I am,
a) Possibly close to the end of my time, although she agrees this is a guess and not substantiated by scientific fact (she refuses to measure my hormone levels because of my age - and the cost! I've offered to cash in my savings bond to pay for private tests and care, but she keeps telling me there is no point).
Unhelpfully she has also observed that I might continue to suffer these symptoms until I am in my early 60's. Although heaven knows where she pulled that little gem from.
b) 3kg overweight. She also concedes that I am unlikely to be able to shift the weight because of the medication I am now on and the fact that I've had to give up my exercise regime because of the effects of anaemia (I've bled constantly for 3 months now).
c) in an area of the country which is poorly resourced with gynae-surgical beds.
So frankly, life appears pretty damn awful at the moment. I have been prescribed tranquilisers for depression and my suicidal thoughts and sleeping tablets for the lack of sleep.
What I need is a hysterectomy and a chance to get my life back, but I have no fight left in me.
A couple of nights ago I caught my own husband crying out of sheer desperation at the effect that this nightmare has had on both of us. He has also been prescribed sedatives. Needless to say, he never cashed the prescription believing that it is a pointless treatment for a man who is the only wage earner in the household. Besides if he is on sedatives how can he be trusted to deliver my pain management.
I lost my job over the amount of sick days I needed and have been unable to find another.
Unfortunately, I am with the top NHS gyne consultant in my catchment area - so seeking a second opinion (which I have already sought), has proved pointless.
On the days I can get out of bed, I sit and cry. On the days I can't get out of bed, I sit and cry and stare at the bedroom wall.
I can no longer go out walking because of the bleeding and the pain from my cyst infested ovary.
My advise to anyone reading this is - RIGHT NOW, GO AND INSIST YOU HAVE
- your hormone levels checked
- your thyroid checked
- your blood iron checked.
LAY ON THE DAMN FLOOR OF YOUR GP's SURGERY KICKING AND SCREAMING if you have to. Do not give up. LET the NHS know you are freaking serious about protecting your health and NEVER let yourself get into the situation that my long suffering husband and I have.
The peri-menopause has to be taken seriously, it is not enough to dismiss it as something you will effectively "grow out of." Cuts in the NHS have thrown this time in a woman's life back into the 18th Century, when we were addressed as having "hysterical vapours."
I just wish that I had realised how fast one can go downhill and the devastating effect it can have on the people that love us.