No one is taking me seriously :(

[Hansolosyoyo]

I'm 40 and I have some odd gynae issue that no one will take seriously. Since the start of the year and especially since summer my periods have been irregular and extremely painful. I've been spotting between periods and have to take strong painkillers the majority of the month. The gynaecologist said everything looks normal inside no fibroids etc and because I bleed once a month it's probably just peri menopause and sent me away. I've just to sit and wait in pain to get old.

I feel like no one is taking what I'm going through seriously. I can't even describe it effectively. I had hoped to have a child but I've given up on that as I can't see how it will happen when I'm always in so much pain and spotting all the time. My gp says I'm too young for menopausal symptoms and both she and the gynae have refused to do hormonal tests saying they won't tell me anything.

I really don't know where to go from here. It's really affecting my life and I'm shutting myself away from the world because I never know when i'm going to end up in pain, in tears or both. My confidence is disappearing fast, I'm getting fat and it seems like I never stop bleeding or discharging. I've no infections that they can detect with swabs.

I feel so alone :(

Of course you are not too young for menopausal symptoms! How ridiculous! Why won't they do a blood check for you? How would you feel about getting another opinion?

I know you are spotting but are you sure your pain is gynae? Could it be irritable bowel or something?

Have you a DP or any children? I know you said you were hoping for a child but wondered if you already had any.

Poor you

I think you need to go back to your GP and ask to be referred to another consultant who is more willing to listen and help you.
If you want a baby, ask to see someone who specialises in fertility. If you are having irregular periods and pain this needs investigating - what has already been done? Have you had any scans or blood tests to see how your ovaries are (ie if they have a good egg supply?)
Your doctor is really out of order because if you are having what could be menopausal symptoms at 40 this is 10 years too early- average age of meno is 51. Some women's periods stop by 45 but even this is borderline early and treatment is advised by the medical profession.
Do you have the means to have a private appt with a consultant? If you look at the website of your nearest private hospital- it might be a Spire or BUPA or Nuffield- you will be able to search for gynaes and see what they specialise in. You ought to be able to see one on the NHS anyway, but if not, and your GP continues to be unhelpful,and you can afford it, ask your GP to refer you.

Sounds like you have seen some shit doctors. Can you change GP/surgery?

My friend is early thirties and is going through the menopause so it's not too early.

Don't give up on yourself and fight for someone to take you seriously. Sounds awful

So sorry for you
I'm not saying you are menopausal but you are certainly not too young.
I was all finished at 40 having had symptoms from 37, and infact becoming pg on the change.

I too would ask for a second opinion as the pain in itself requires further investigation, imo. I'm not a hc professional though.

Look at www.menopausematters.co.uk

good luck

You can be perimenopausal for 10 years before proper menopause. I started getting very heavy and painful periods from my early 40s. I had dome small endometrial cysts on my overies but the advice was the same as for perimenopause which was have a marina coil. I chose not to have it and pain did subside. However still had heavy periods. Am now 53 and my periods are have been very irregular for 3 years and now down to about every 3 months.

Hansolosoyoyo - re blood tests for menopause the new draft NICE Guidelines which are coming out shortly say this about women of your age and menopause:

Consider using a FSH test to diagnose menopause only:

in women aged over 45 years with atypical symptoms

in women aged 40 to 45 years with menopausal symptoms including a change in their menstrual cycle

in women aged under 40 years in whom menopause is suspected

www.nice.org.uk/guidance/GID-CGWAVE0639/documents/menopause-draft-guideline-nice2

The docs are being irresponsible in not taking your symptoms seriously - and if your gynae has said you are peri-menopausal then it is important to think about some sort of oestrogen replacement - HRT at your young age.

I would also go to a fertility expert as PollyPerky suggests though because sometimes ovaries have a last fling during the time leading up to menopause and beocme more fertile than previously

You would also benefit from a thyroid function test re your weight gain.

Gosh thank you :) so many questions to answer, apologies if I forget one or two

They won't do a blood test as they say it won't tell me anything other than the levels at that exact point in time (a bit of a duh answer). I have seen 3 different gps about this all saying the same and a rather unhelpful child of a gynaecologist. I am going back to my gp to ask to be referred to another gynaecologist as my partner (a nurse) was quite disgusted at how the gynaecologist responded to me. He even suggested we save up to go private (& he loves the nhs). We couldn't afford this especially if I needed continued care. I do have a child already and a dog that my child refers to as their sibling :-/

I asked my gp about a fertility specialist in the summer but was told to just keep trying and that I wouldn't be eligible for help having a child already. I've since discovered that the eligibility stuff is for assisted reproduction that I wouldn't want anyway. I'm not sure if a fertility dr could do much more but I honestly don't know.

I am in a rural location so I'm registered with the only gp surgery in the catchment. I've seen every dr in the surgery. Tbh I'm thinking id be quicker getting a medical degree myself than finding a good gp

I'm sorry for having a mini meltdown causing me to rant here earlier. I'm on my 3rd consecutive week of cramping - it's definitely my uterus not ibs - and I have erratic mood dips that last a few hours then go away & I'm happy again.

They say you get menopause roughly the same time as your mother - mine was 58, as was her mother and grandmother and her sisters...

They won't do a blood test as they say it won't tell me anything other than the levels at that exact point in time (a bit of a duh answer). I have seen 3 different gps about this all saying the same and a rather unhelpful child of a gynaecologist.

True. so that is why a consultant I see, and who is also a fertility specialist,does 2 tests in a month- one on day 3 of a cycle and one after day 14. This is standard practise. A GP ought to know this. A consultant should definitely know. The NICE guidelines which another poster left here for you advise drs to give blood tests to women under 45 with possible meno symptoms.

You are quite entitled to 'mix and match' NHS and private appts. You could have a 1-off appt privately for an opinion and maybe the blood tests- but you don't have to have any more than this. The bottom line is you need to know what your ovarian function is at the moment.

Whether you want to conceive or not, your symptoms need some investigation.

I have the greatest respect for the medical proffesion,however,imo, they are brainwashed to their learning and government guidelines finances etc etc. when I got my gynaecologist appointment I was full of hope,by the end of it I was sat cross armed thinking what a waste of time,I am just another woman with the same old problems and he has the same old solutions and that's it. If you have exhausted what is already available to you,you have nothing to lose trying the alternative therapies out there. Our bodies are very capable of healing themselves and coping with what is a natural process,yes they need help sometimes,conventional or others,you have to find what works for you. I have always found when conventional lets you down,there will be an alternative out there that will help. It often starts with little steps and simply getting someone to listen to you,really listen,treat you as an individual and offer support and a start to solutions will be a massive help and a big step to a better health. What we go through is completely exhausting and debilitating, getting some good energy and healing going is a great start,you and your body can deal with this,you just need to find what works for you. Reiki for example is fab,nothing but good energy and sometimes enough to re - charge and give you the boost you need to start tackling life. My own doctors are fab and I'm always shocked to hear stories like yours where they really are Miss treating you,you must feel like your going round in circles,banging your head against the wall and the whole time life is going along. Maybe step side ways and try something different?,nothing to lose,lots to gain! I use both conventional and alternative,use what works at the time,but would try for alternatives. Good luck and keep posting,you are not alone out there??

Sorry that was meant to be a nice smiley face at the end not ?? ! It's not questionable,you really aren't alone out there !