Am I wrong to look forward to the menopause? Is it worse?

[IRuthBolirsUhbniuzsDH]

Really hating my hormones at the moment, I'm 42, still BFing my third and last child who is nearly 3.

My periods came back about 9 months ago and I feel like I'm slowly going mad. The pain isn't as bad as it used to be each month but the moods I'm getting can be awful, half the time I feel like nothing's real and I'm also getting angry for the few days before. I lost the plot a bit the other day with ds3, and hate myself for it.

So I'm looking forward to it all stopping, but I don't know when it will, or if when they stop it will be even worse?

Also wondering if some sort of hormonal contraception might be useful, as I felt very calm, and 'normal' and so on in the couple of years after ds3 was born.

I seem always to feel quite good during those times then back to a loony when my periods come back.

Any thoughts really appreciated.

Impossible to say whether it will be better or worse, everyone is different.

For me, it is better. I had terrible heavy periods, ended up on medication they were so heavy.

I did have some meno symptoms, especially in the peri-meno phase. Now I haven't had a period for a couple of years and am on a much more even keel.

That is truly lovely to read. Thank you. Maybe there is hope for me yet.

My mother had a hysterectomy in her early 40s so I don't know what age she would have been, thus not sure when I should expect it. iyswim

The average age of menopause (last period) in the UK is 51. More info from Menopause Matters here. Having said that, it only describes the UK population, doesn't predict what will happen to you. I started having peri symptoms when I was about 46, started missing periods at about 48, stopped periods altogether at 50.

There is so much individual variation, though. In that page I linked to, they say that by the age of 54, 80% of women will have stopped having periods. Which of course means that 20% of 54 year olds are still having periods.

I think you ought to see your GP and if necessary ask for a referral to a gynae- GPs tend to know not a lot about hormones and 'wimin's' problems.

PMS in the 40s does tend to get worse so they say but there are things that can help and yes, the Pill might be brilliant for you.

I wouldn't want to accelerate the menopause in your shoes!

What many people don't appreciate is that menopause is a stage of life for 30 years with oestrogen deficiency as the main factors.

There are 2 stages of menopause- first, the well known symptoms like hot flushes, erratic periods, anxiety, depression, insomnia, loss of energy, then after they have gone (which for some women is NEVER apart from the period-bit) what comes along but increased risk of heart disease, high BP ( same as men) and osteoporosis for 1:2 to 1:3 women, bladder problems, vaginal dryness and possibly prolapse.

Do you really want that????

The answer for some of us is HRT to avoid all of the above as much as possible.

Thank you...I guess there are other things to consider! I will try and talk to my female GP, she is quite wise and maybe she can suggest something. I've never liked the idea of mornomal contraception but at the moment the gulf between my 'normal' self and my 'PMT' self is vast.

I hate that and just want everything to be normal all the time. I don't know which hormone it might be that I need, if I feel fine while breastfeeding and not having periods.