Menopause/mid-life crisis/depression/anxiety/non existent libido - fun times!

[PhyllisDietrichson]

I am finding the menopause hard going too. I've missed my first period complete with first bout of hot-flushes, but it's been unpredictable for about 2 years. Constant doubts about everything, especially about relationships. My libido's non-existent - minus 50 and I doubt friendships all the time. I've become overweight. I don't' like who I am and want to change, and have been evaluating everything and then feel ashamed at past mistakes and there are a few of those. It's like a midlife crisis and depression and anxiety rolled into one. Made doc appt then forgot it, must try again despite the receptionists withering comments. My job involves regular presentations; dreading suddenly feeling too hot to cope and wondering if HRT will sort it all out like magic? Anyway that's me. What's your experiences got any useful advice? Thanks in advance Phyllis

If you google International Menopause Society there is a lot of info there and someone also left a link on this forum a couple of posts down - or have a look at Menopause Matters website.

As pinkfrocks said there's loads of info on Menopause Matters! Whether HRT will sort it all out depends very much on how far along the menopause journey you are. You say periods have been unpredictable for two years but you've only just missed your first one. If you are having hot flushes as well then if you go to your GP they may well do blood tests ( which are very unreliable at this stage) but if you tell him/her your symptoms and say you would like to try HRT then you should be able to be prescribed it. Femoston 1/10 is a good one to start with as it is well tolerated with "kinder" progesterone.

As for becoming overweight - that's par for the course at this stage when metabolism slows down as menopause approaches. The key thing is to look at your lifestyle and make changes if you need to ie change your diet - reduce fat and simple carbs as well as processed foods, eat less but make sure it's fresh with lots of fruit and veg, exercise more, reduce alcohol, stop smoking (if you do), get more fresh air, reduce stress, get enough sleep etc etc!! You may not become as slim as you were but you will be fittter and healthy - aim to reduce your weight into healthy BMI. When at the doc you could also ask for thyroid function tests - good doc will do these as a baseline at this point as this can start to go haywire too in some women and there is come overlap of symptoms.

Don't worry about past mistakes - they're gone and done with unless there are repercussions you still need to address. Above all don't let any doc fob you off with anti-depressants because it sounds like your symptoms are hormonal and typical of peri-menopause.

Thanks ladies good advice to ponder.

I've become overweight
Phyllis, this isnt inevitable, metabolism only slows down if you slow down and lose lean tissue