Dazed and confused

[flightywoman]

I'm 50, and according to most resources should be at least peri-menopausal by now if not heading into full menopause. I have read and thought and read some more and done various online assessment things and I have almost no symptoms. So, I asked my mum how old she was when she had hers - 63. Sixty-bastarding-three!

So far, so what...

This would be fine, except that I have always suffered very bad period pain and I still do, it's getting worse if anything. I am woken in the night, it's just so damn painful. I've had investigations and all sorts of things, the scan was too painful to complete, apparently I have a small fibroid, I might or might not have a bit of endo etc etc. No-one takes it seriously, no-one seems to understand the effect it has on me as a functioning human being.

I've had a Mirena and it gave me the delightful double whammy of batshit crazy and suicidal. And it didn't do anything for the pain, and I kept on bleeding. So I had it taken out.

I am really worried that when it all happens, any HRT will make me feel like that again, and I can't, I just can't. I hated myself, the world, my husband for even breathing, my daughter had an angry mummy, it was a horrible horrible time.

A few years ago I asked my doctor if she would refer me for a hysterectomy and she laughed and said "Oh we don't do those". But I am getting to the point when I think that's what I need. And then I suppose I would be straight into menopause

Am I mad to even consider it? What other options do I have?

I want to not hurt every month, I hope for menopause to put an end to it and the prospect of another 13 years is awful to think about.

And help, thoughts, advice etc would be very welcome...

I think you need to go back, see a different GP, list your symptoms and how they are worsening and ask for a referral to a gynaecologist. In your shoes. I think I'd want this to be properly investigated (scan, maybe bloods) to establish what is likely to be going on (fibroids, polyps, adenomyosis, endometriosis, whatever) because then you can have a proper discussion with the specialists about how to manage it.

I hope you can get a more sympathetic/competent doctor.

I agree with AuntieStella but I'd also like to make a few other points.

I might or might not have a bit of endo etc etc. No-one takes it seriously, no-one seems to understand the effect it has on me as a functioning human being.

The first is to make sure your Gp knows exactly how much this affects your life. Second, if they are unhelpful ask for a referral to a gynae ( you really ought to have that regardless) and thirdly if you come up against a brick wall in the NHS pay (if you can)) for a single consultation privately then be referred back to the NHS for treatment if needed.

Hysterectomies are not done so much now because there are so many other treatments. An emblation is the next step if the Mirena doesn't work. If you did have a hysterectomy you wouldn't be plunged into menopause because they would leave your ovaries.

I'd like to know a bit more about which investigations you had and what was found. Also why was the scan so painful? If this was a TVS (transvaginal scan with a probe) they are not usually painful (I've had zillions). Do you find sex painful? If you do it might be you do have some meno symptoms- such as vaginal atrophy- or a non-meno disease like endo.

Is your mum sure she was 63? That's almost unheard of TBH- late 50s is about the top limit and most drs would say 56 is pushing it. sometimes and I don't want to refute your mum(!) women with vaginal atrophy get light bleeding from the vaginal walls like a bloody discharge and they think it's a period, when it's not.

But- you shouldn't have to put up with this. If you do end up on HRT there are a number of types of progestogens- not the same ones as in the Mirena- so I'd cross that bridge if and when you need to.

Rather than a hysterectomy could you have your ovaries removed? Presume that would be a lesser option and I've read that it sends you straight in to menopause.

That would be drastic- surgical menopause! Then you HAVE to take HRT which would have to include progestogens due to still having a uterus- so more periods.

Just out of interest I googled late menopause and found this- it says under 'Late menopause' that the oldest ever recorded age was 62.

Average age of menopause

As a by the way, I had no meno signs at all until 52.

Thanks everyone, I am going to make an appointment to see the gp. She is normally really good, so I'll give her another go. And I'm going to ask for a referral to a gynae.

I asked my mum if she was sure, and she says she had pretty much full on periods so I dunno, maybe she's misremembered the time - she says it was after her own mum died and that was '94, when my own mum was 62. Unless she's the person who holds the record of course! OTOH, I don't know if she ever went to the doctor about it or had HRT...

Pinkfrocks The stuff I've had done...I had a laparoscopy about 3 years ago, I can't remember what the result showed but no-one seemed to be concerned and as I had a Mirena put in they decided that whatever it was all be sorted by the implant. Before that the scan I had was the normal squashing-the-pelvis type and it was absolute agony in my spine and the doctor that did it just didn't seem to understand what I was trying to explain. Then I burst into tears so they stopped. So it was inconclusive except that they then said I had a small fibroid. I've had dildo-cam type scans with no problems.

I'm going to make an appointment tomorrow...

Well...I went to see my gp, and told her everything and this time she was very sympathetic. Suggested Mirena, I reminded her it made me suicidal last time, and from then on she was completely in step with me. As I was leaving she said "don't worry, we'll get you sorted out".

I've done some thinking and after being woken up at 3am this morning (again) and the paracetamol working for about 30 minutes tops I know I can't keep on like this.

Again, I asked my mum if she really was 62, she is definite it was then. I really cannot do this every month for the next 10 years or so.

One of my friends had a hysterectomy recently and is very happy with the results, and one of the country's leading menopause GPs is based near where I live and so we are both going to ask her about the nature-identical hormones.

I feel more positive about things. Thank you everyone for your replies, I do appreciate it.

Have you tried ibuprofen for period pain? (or mefanamic acid or something of that kind) It is supposed to work better than paracetomol - different pathway - something to do with prostaglandins.

Hi DayLillie, yes, I've tried Ibuprofen for the pain, and mefenamic acid (back when it was Ponstan and more recently), neither of them even make a dent in it :(

I spoke to another friend who has had everything out and her experience has reassured me too.

Hi flightywoman. Have you managed to make any headway? I have a friend who had a hysterectomy at 35 (endometriosis) and always says it was the best thing she ever did. They seem to try to do everything they can to avoid it and the side effects, but sometimes it is the best thing.

I mentioned the ibuprofen (and other NSAIDs) because a lot of people don't realise it can help - I only ever got bad period pain when I stopped using asprin and used paracetamol instead. It was a wise pharmacist who explained.

Hope you get a good result.

Hi Day, thank you for your post.

I've made an appointment for Friday next week to get the ball rolling.

This month's pain has started today, I'm chugging painkillers and am newly resolved that I know what I want.