Would anyone like to join me in a Menopausal Support Group?

[Dumbledoresgirl]

I am going through quite a tough time physically at the moment. Doctors haven't been much use, HRT does not appeal, but the support of a few other women going through the same thing would be lovely.

I am 49 and haven't actually gone through the menopause yet but have been having symptoms of change for quite a few years now. Recently the symptoms have increased and new ones have started, or I have become aware of them anyway. I try to reassure myself that things will get better one day but the journey to the other side (of the menopause I mean, not death!) seems long.

Is anyone else out there wanting to share how they feel, or have a moan or look for reassurance? Anything really. Actually, a RL friend of mine is going through the same and suggested we met up for a moan but all I could think of was I would rather meet for fun than a moan! But I know what she meant.

Libido is a funny one.
There are some 'experts' who think that older women just need a change of man . Not easy to put into practise, or advisable necessarily! But more seriously, same old, same old can be a bore. There has been some research to show that women with low sex drives discovered they had plenty of desire post divorce and met new men.
Oestogen does help a bit too even if it's simply by making you feel good about yourself and less tired, as does exercise.

actually i dont know why I name changed, as I outed myself on another thread here today ..
but no ...a new man is not an option! (we've only been married 7 years!)..

ho hum ..

Chilli, you are definitely not alone.

Virtually all your symptoms I have too. My cycle has read like yours for a few years now. Although, I have to admit, I don't care about that really. It is a PITA to get a period 17 days after the last one (so maybe only 10 clear days between them) but the trend is towards longer and longer gaps and I am delighted with every period free day I get. It also helps that my periods are lighter and lighter - hardly anything now. And they don't hurt. I am not sure if that symptom is menopause related if I am honest with you. I heard that painful periods should not really return if you have had a time without painful periods. Maybe that is a symptom worth discussing with your GP as it might indicate something else?

As for the rest: apart from what you say about your hair, I could have written your post. Things like the laziness - yes, I have always been lazy, but it isn't just that, it is a really discernable decrease in energy levels.

My best hope is something my mother told me. She said she went through hell in her 40s and then felt like a new woman in her 50s. I am 49 - maybe only one (or 2) years to go for me?

BTW, I am quite mindful of my overall health, eg I do make a reasonable effort to eat well, I sleep loads, I have never been a party animal or a smoker or drinker. Exercise is the bane of my life, but even that I do a little of. I suppose my one big negative is my disposition towards gloominess. Not sure a) if I can do anything about that or b) if it makes a difference?

Oh and Laska, yes, my libido is pretty dormant too. Again, perhaps naively, I am just hoping it returns along with my health, when this is over.

Rubbish libido here, probably -10 !
If I forget to take my HRT pills then I immediately get hot flushes back and the morning aches and pains all over my body.
I've never had painful periods luckily, they just stopped at age 43 !

Hi Dumbledoresgirl, was looking for advice on evening primrose and stumbled on your thread . Like you I would like to avoid the HRT route ,ive got fibroids & benign breast lumps ,so extra Hormones do not appeal. Im 48yrs and until Sept last year my periods were every 23days lasting at least 7days as they had been since I was 11yrs and that includes bouts of anemia and eating disorder weight loss over the years, but since sept nothing . My doc says perimenapause as im getting Hot flushes nightsweats and servere breast pain, Im wondering if evening primrose would help. Any thoughts? Anyone?

Hi Housewife, welcome!

I can't speak personally for evening primrose oil as I have not tried it, but I see ChilliQueen is taking it for sore boobs so maybe she will be along at some time and be able to offer you some advice.

Sometimes I think just taking something you have faith in can help you to feel more in control of your situation. My trouble is that I find it hard to have faith in anything!

Well, I went along to my GP surgery yesterday, obstensibly about my headaches, but I met a very nice lady nurse who just talked to me for a while and a whole host of issues came tumbling out and I nearly ended up crying. She took my blood pressure and it was very high so I am now signed up to a whole barrage of blood tests (which I have had done before to no avail, but who knows? maybe this time the results will show something) and also will be undergoing a 24 hour blood pressure test. There is absolutely nothing in my family history or lifestyle to account for high blood pressure, and I have been reading up about it and apparently falling oestrogen levels can cause it, so it looks like the big M is to blame again.

Housewife19... I had mega, mega breast pain (mainly in right one, but slightly in left). I had to walk around holding them and had to wear tight layers at bed time as they ached so much. Went to doctors - the 'C' word was mentioned, though doc thought unlikely. Was phoned by hospital same day to come in for a mammogram. Luckily was all clear, and the staff were very lovely, the doctor told me to take 2,000mg of Evening Primrose Oil a day. I buy Health Aid Evening Primrose Oil 1300mg - and I take 2 tablets a day when I remember. And it really has helped loads. Only occasional twinge in the right one now.

Hello. Newbie just joined today, so firstly hello. I have really bad flashes and night sweats and its driving me nuts. Interested to know if anyone has tried any of the Soy Isoflavins or natural remedies and had success. I've tried black cohosh but its not helped. :))

Hello Skyflier27
I have heard Sage is good for flushes and night sweats heres some info

Sorry to hear about your raised blood pressure Dumblesdoregirl that's all you need, not only physically but the mental stress too.. it's a pisser! I hope all bloods come back normal IYSWIM.

I had a period last week, first one in 5 months and was hoping they'd stopped, finished last Monday, and am now having another one, great! [anger]
I also discovered yesterday, on top of everything else, my ankles are arthritic and i have tendinitus, this plus my hypermobility means i have been measured for splints I suddenly feel really really old, and i know it sounds vein, but i like to look nice (have a degree in fashion, sew etc) it gives me a bit of confidence, but it feels like it's getting harder - it's getting me down. Started taking Glucosamine and Chondroitin today to help my joints, i pray it works, although i know it'll take a while
My ankles are killing me, and i've got 8 hours of standing tomorrow!
< panicking >

Thanks chilliqueen/Dumblesdoregirl and everyone , I will give the evening primrose oil a try. It might even help with the night sweats as they seem to be on a fairly regular run at the moment . Just a quickie to Skyflier27 I did try the soy isoflavines and they did help with breast pain but also increased my periods so ive given up on them , but that's not to say its the same for everyone .
Hope u get your Blood pressure sorted Dumbledoresgirl that must feel like the icing on the cake right now , hold on in there .

I got back the results of my blood tests today. All normal except my FSH levels which came back as 'Post Menopausal Levels' which confuses me as I am not post menopausal yet. I had a period only a month ago. Does anyone understand this better than me? I would have thought to have post menopausal FSH levels, one would have to be definitely past the menopause.... or are these levels not really that accurate and my levels only indicate the menopause is nearly upon me?

I am seeing a nurse in a couple of weeks so will obviously be able to ask her then, but it would be good to know more before that.

I went to docs on Monday. No period for 80 days. Feel low and anxious. Cried as soon as spoke to doctor. I don't care about periods stopping. She asked me two pages of questions, and according to my tearful answers I'm not miserable or anxious enough to warrant any treatment for those. I am having a blood test on Monday though. I mentioned I'd heard to have it on day 3, but doctor just said that we don't know when that is, do we! Anyway, she testing for a whole heap of stuff. Sadly she didn't have time to look at my painful knee (same leg has loads of granny style broken blood vessels near ankle and some rather fetching varicose veins appearing). Am hoping blood test shows something... keep you posted.

Lovely to find this thread. I am feel like I am going mad.
I have almost all the symptoms on the peri menopause list of 35
However I still find it hard to accept that is what my symptoms are. I have night sweats before my period, my periods are shorter, lighter and come round quicker,I hate the skin crawling 1000s of ants on my body, today very sore hot hands and feet, dry eyes and anxiety. The anxiety is terrible. My life is very good I should be very joyous but I am so anxious :(
My symptoms were bad after I had my gallbladder out last May. They did settle down. I look after myself, take supplements to help and have acupuncture but sadly the last 2 weeks have been terrible.
Considering HRT
Does anyone else have similar symptoms?

ChilliQueen, I find your posts incredibly similar to something I could write. I was on the verge of crying when I went to the GP (actually saw a nurse) last week. No reason to cry, it just came upon me talking about my symptoms and life. It's like being taken over by another personality.

All the best for the blood tests. I wish I knew what mine meant but it is so hard getting a doctor's appt round my way, so I am just going to have to wait - not 2 weeks as I said earlier, but 3 I realise now.

Fidelma, sorry to hear you are feeling so anxious. It does seem a common symptom. Has this come upon you suddenly or has it been going on for some time? How old are you? I think, judging by the comments on this thread alone, it would certainly be worth your while going to the GP and talking things through.

Dumbledoregirl, I'm going to cling on to your mum's experience and hope its true for me as well.I'm 48 and feel my 40's have been the worst time of my life, mostly because of the 'PMT like' symptoms.For 2 weeks of each month I feel I could cry at the drop of a hat and I have little patience.Back and forth to the gp who doesn't feel its enough to warrant treatment.My periods are still very regular.

I've been the supplement queen, trying epo, VitB etc and some months I've felt better but nothing long lasting. My VitD levels were very low and taking supplements for that has helped however the biggest benefit has been 5-htp which I started a few months ago.I haven't felt the complete fatigue I did in the past and I feel more able to cope.

Fidelma, I can relate to the anxiety feelings, have you had your FSH levels tested?

I can relate to the anxiety Newlifeforme/Fidelma . I do wonder abt the FSH levels though as ive been told they can fluctuate day to day.
Has anybody got any suggestions for body lotion . My skin needs something as I am forever in the shower , what with the nightsweats and hot flushes , and everything I used to use seems to make me hotter . Even aqueous feels like a coating of sealant . Any suggestions ??

I haven't got my FHs checked yet. The dr did my blood as but in the middle of the month and they were normal. I still have regular periods. But crazy symptoms. They did check me for MS (very scarey) but luckily all clear. My symptoms give me anxiety :(
I now am adding very dry skin. Sore hot hands (sometime feet) and sometimes burning skin!!
Does anyone else have any of these symptoms?

I am miserable with hot flushes during the night. I'm not sweating but the flush seems to start in my chest and just envelope me. It wakes me up then I think I need the loo so trot to the loo and back then need to try and fall asleep again. Last night I woke up 5 times like this, the last time being at 5.05 a.m. I couldn't get back to sleep so just tossed and turned until time to get up at 6.30a.m. Result is I'm knackered during the day.

Went to doctor couple of weeks ago, they wouldn't give me a blood test, gave me a print out of menopause info and basically said piss off. I have realised that caffeine isn't helping so trying to cut that out after 9pm to see if that helps.

With regards my weight, I put on 2 1/2 stone when I hurt my back 3 years ago and have only recently got back to exercising as I've been left with chronic back pain. Have been going to the gym since September and have only lost around 5lbs in total. I exercise around 4 times a week for about an hour each time but no change at all to how I look which is a bit meh! Also cut back drastically on bread.

Sorry, just having a general grump about it

Grump away motherstongue, that's what I am about to do!

OK, so I had a 24 hour blood pressure monitor and the good news is my blood pressure is normal. I have had a lot of conflicting opinions though on the blood tests I had done a few weeks ago. I was first told they were normal, but now some nurses seem to think the kidney function is abnormal and others think it is normal for me as I have part of one kidney missing (removed in surgery decades ago). So in the space of a few minutes I go from relief that my BP is fine to fear that I have something wrong with my kidneys.

Meanwhile, my headaches and fatigue continue apace. I was laid low for 3 days 2 weeks ago, and then had a mild headache yesterday and a real humdinger today. And, the more I think about it the more I believe, although I don't seem as bad as others in this respect, that I have hot flushes too. Certainly one this morning and at least 2 last night which woke me up. The headaches and tiredness are the worst thing for me though. I feel so helpless with them. A nurse I spoke to today couldn't understand why I was going to keep an appointment I have had booked for weeks on Thursday. Her attitude was: your BP is fine, your kidney function needs checking but not for a a couple of months, the rest of your bloods are fine, so why come in for an appointment? Err, to carry on trying to find the cause and best treatment for these debillitating headaches perhaps?! I definitely think she was trying to imply I just needed to get on with it (it wouldn't be the first time I had been told that). Sooo disheartened today.

Not had a hot flush for about 2 weeks now. Is this normal? Started the hot flushes on Christmas night (not even alcohol induced) and now just stopped. Very strange! Not complaining though, it's great to be able to sleep again!

Room for another?
After rumbling through the perimenopause for several years, the real deal is finally upon me.
And it's not nice.
Hot flushes like my skin is on fire, perhaps 2-3 times hourly? And then -so bizarre- I pitch into feeling absolutely goose-bump freezing. Disrupted sleep with waking every hour or so as a result of the dread HF (Dh in separate room if he needs a good sleep) headache, lethargy, moan moan moan.
And I can't take hrt, am a DES daughter (if curious Here) plus DM has uterine ca, although she took HRT for

Oops, meant >15 years. Clearly brain not functioning either.

Yoo hoo all - another sufferer here, great to see a support thread, as in RL no-one seems to be that interested!

My main symptoms are HF, and terrible episodes of crying uncontrollably - awful for me and awful for the family to witness and support. Such an overwhelming feeling of loss of confidence and esteem. I do remember my mum having a terrible menopause, and lying in the street sobbing at one point ( plus once sent me a detailed letter on how she would like to kill my father, ..............!). I am an older mum, so kids still at home, and despite explaining the reason for behaviour, I still wish I could keep these mood swings and tears under control. Does anyone have advice for this?

I am in the process of Blood tests etc prior to possibly starting HRT, but as some of you know, do suffer from High BP so am worried about that aspect.

XX

PS no periods for 5 months now, which is one benefit I suppose

Newlifeforme what is 5 htp, excuse my ignorance..

Fidelma - interesting about the MS testing, I have been suffering from pins and needles now and again and was assured by GP it was Menopause symptoms. hormones etc..... :(