perimenopause

[nr13]

Hi, I think my wife is in perimenopause, she is showing a lot of the symptoms, she left the house three weeks ago when she came home from work and seemed agitated, we had been getting along okay , she has a very stressful job and our 2 children have recently left the family home , she said if she stayed we would end up fighting and hating eachother, this came totally out of the blue, she said things I have said or done lately she hated me for, when she told me what it was I had said or done they were only trivial things, but not obviously to her. I have read a lot of information on the internet as I am very worried about her, she will not go the doctors as she says she will deal with it herself. she asked me to leave her alone as she just needs to be by herself right now. I have respected her wishes and
I have told her I love her and will always be there for her.
I feel helpless as there is nothing I can seem to do, I cannot drag her to the doctors, I know something is wrong as she seems a totally different woman.
does anyone have any advice please?
or how long will she want to avoid me for, is it a permenant thing or a mood swing? I dont want to push myself on her, i.e, texts or phoning as she has asked me not too.
can anyone help please??

She probably is going through perimenopause. You say you have grown-up children so i'm guessing your wife is in her 40s which is about the right age for menopause to be starting. Perimenopause can start as early as age 35. I'm 38 and i'm going through it already so it's quite likely that your wife is. Does she have any other menopausal symptoms other than mood swings and irritabilty, do you know ? Irregular periods, heavy periods, hot flushes, night sweats, crying a lot ? Of course, it may just be that she is really stressed out because of her very stressful job. It may be that which is causing her moods. Perhaps she is very sad and finding it hard to adjust to your children leaving home. It's very common for a women to suffer from empty-nest syndrome. My children are still quite young and all still at home but i hate it and get quite emotional when they go out for even a few hours or the night to stay with their dad! Just be there for your wife and offer lots of support. You sound like a lovely man, caring and your'e doing a great job already. Just be patient and understanding and tell your wife you love her. Also, do try and persuade her to go to the doctor. If she is in perimenopause then HRT may well help her. Good luck.

Hi, thank you so much for your reply,my wife is 44, and yes she has shown other symptoms, night sweats, irregular periods, hairs on the chin, there were no mood swings until the day she left, we had not been having rows . Unfortunately I didn't know there were so many symptoms of perimenopause until I looked on the internet. I understand women do hate their partners during this time but don't know if this is permanent or does it go in a love me/hate me type phase? I just feel useless at the moment as I cant physically see her to know she is okay and she doesn't want me contacting her , is doesn't feel right to just stay here and wait but its what she wants and i will do it, its the not knowing what's next is driving me mad . Thank you again for helping me out.