Feeling anxious & loss in menopause

[Lostmom]

I am embarrassed at 55 to be suddenly feeling so insecure. I no longer seem to be the confident,take charge woman I used to be. My body has aged well but I hate to look inthe mirror at all those lines on my face. So superficial- I know but I feel invisible.

Iworked for 30 years and have recently retired. I would like anew part time job but there is a lot of competition for those jobs. DH is frustrated with me. I am too!

I would like to age gracefully but need to address some of these issues. Help!

Hi Lostmom - sorry to hear you are having a loss of confidence. Since you posted in the menopause section - are you menopausal or how far into meno are you? These feelings are common in the peri-menopausal time and just after menopause as hormone levels drop (oestrogen and testosterone). You don't mention any other symptoms or hormones?

Many of us use HRT (specifically oestrogen replacment) firstly to alleviate the negative symptoms (eg hot flushes and sweats) secondly for longer term health benefits ( eg preventing osteoporosis) and finally to give us more of a feel good factor and regain some of that confidence and zest for life. The added bonus is that it does keep you looking younger so you feel better.

How about it then?

Oh - and try diluted estriol cream for the face - it is usually used for the vaginal area post-menopause but you can mix it with other cream and use it (with care). It acts on the oestrogen receptors in the skin and apparently strengthens it..... Maybe google this to find out more? It's not generally known about.

I have been on HRT for over 5 years, now 59 and intend to stay on it. I work part-time, don't look my age and feel great.

I can't help with the job - depends what you did and whether you can set up on your own, go self-employed or use your skills initially on a voluntary basis in an organisation you are interested in

Hope this helps...

Thanks for the tips. I am in early menopause but an nervous to take HRT. My sister had cancer & felt strongly there was a link to the hormones. I recognize the emotional turmoil I feel is most likely hormonal. It helps to talk about it.

Sorry you feel low. It is the loss of oestrogen.

Did your sister have breast cancer or a different cancer?

You might like to do some serious reading up about the actual risks. The medical advice is that it is a warning light if 2 first degree relatives had breast cancer under the age of 45- mother, sister, aunt.

There is also lots still unknown about the link between HRT and breast cancer. Some of the best experts believe that it does not cause cancer, but maybe the cancer was already there and was discovered by coincidence when taking HRT, or that it promoted tiny cancers already there.

I linked in another thread from a cancer charity which showed that women who take HRT as just oestrogen have a lower rate of breast cancer than women not taking HRT, and oestrogen alone with for example the Mirena coil as the progestin part of it, could be the answer for anyone worried about cancer risks.

Are you exercising? Again, some research shows that 30-45 mins brisk exercise a day has the same benefits as HRT.

It depends on how much work you want to put into YOU! Your lines can be got rid of with some cosmetic fillers, you can get a new job, maybe voluntary or self employed if that feels less daunting.

You are still a young woman at 55!

Have you thought about maybe seeing a life coach who specialises in women your age who can help kick start the process and help build your confidence a bit?