Please help me help my Mum.

[ohemgee]

Sorry this might be long but really need some input from people who have experience of this.

My Mum has been going through the menopause for over 3 years now but things seem to have worsened considerably over the past 6 months. She has been on Premarin for 2 years now, she suffered really badly for a year with hot flushes and all the classic symptoms but the Premarin has become a kind of magic pill for her and she's no scared to come off it.

The problem is that over the last 6 months she has become increasingly irritable and depressed, to the point at which she was on the phone last night in tears saying she hates her life and wants to leave my Dad. They moved house in March to a completely new area and my Sister and her boyfriend have moved in with them after finishing Uni so there's been a lot of change in her life recently. My Dad and Sister aren't the most sympathetic people and don't really cut her much slack in terms of the things she is going through at the moment.

She has read lots and I've been trying to give her ideas and support about coping strategies but I'm running out of ideas and can't force her to go back to her GP. Any ideas MNetters? Any advice on Premarin and coming off it? Any experiences of depression during menopause?

*now scared, not no scared

Sorry, should also probably have said that she is 52 and had a hysterectomy about 10 years ago.

You sound a very caring daughter.
I am older than your mum and can honestly say that I have had no emotional meno symptoms.

TBH it doesn't necessarily follow that what your mum is experiencing is hormone related. She has undergone several big life changes and these can affect anyone- not just women who are menopausal.It is that stage of life when many women re-assess their lives.

If she is on HRT then she ought to behaving regular 6-monthly check ups with her GP. This is when she needs to discuss her depression.

There is no rush for her to come off HRT- up to 5 years use is considered safe with no added risk. She migh need a different dose or a different type. Premarin is a very old type and not necessarily the best.

I'd suggest she goes to a proper menopause clinic- see the website Menopause Matters, or Amarant Trust, and maybe goes to her GP to discuss some counselling.

It's great that you are looking out for her.

Thanks so much for your reply, I agree that the menopause is probably just a contributing factor at this stage and she has a lot of other things to deal with. I will talk to her about the HRT and try and direct her to those resources, thanks again!