Are there any other lonely first time mums in the Enfield area

pebbles40 · 2006-02-22T12:19:32+00:00

Hiya - I have not been on this site before and it's all new to me - but I thought I'd give it a go! I live in the enfield area and was wondering if there were any other lonely first time mums out there? I have a 24 week old little girl and we don't have any family near us and so it gets a bit lonely sometime! I thought it would be nice for her to mix with some other babies - so if you are close to me or just fancy a chat anyway it would be good to hear from you.........

Roshni · 22/02/2006 12:25

Hi there,

I have a one-year-old son and live in Walthamstow. I work part-time, but am free on Thursdays and Fridays. I'm interested in child-centred parenting and am quite family oriented. What are your interests?

Original poster

pebbles40 · 22/02/2006 16:15

Hiya Roshni

It's nice to know this works!!

What exactly do you mean by 'child-centered' parenting and please excuse my ignorance! As for family oriented i am also, my family are the most important thing to me - well it's very hard not to think that way when your life is suddenly not your own anymore! I found it very tough in the beginning, but am really enjoying my time with my daughter now - it's amazing how much you can love someone isn't it?! Was it hard going back to work?

My interests are listening to music, soul, r&b and us garage, jazz, eating out, animals (even thou we only have a few tropical fish!)....my friends and family!

How about you?

OP posts:

Roshni · 25/02/2006 22:02

Hi Pebbles,

It's great you replied! I haven't had time to check since Wednesday ? I'm sure you know how it is...

'Child-centred' parenting is when the focus, as it sounds, in on the child. So rather than trying to impose onto your baby what you want them to do (sleep on their own, when you want them to ? so letting them 'cry it out', for example), you try and provide a more nurturing form of parenting (letting them sleep with you until they seem happy in their cot would be the corresponding example). There's obviously more to it than this simple explanation, but I hope it gives you a bit of an idea. My son seems to have thrived on it. He's a happy, energetic, affectionate and friendly little toddler who seems to enjoy life.

Yes, it's AMAZING how much you can love someone! I did find it hard going back to work, and still do find it hard to say goodbye to my son in the mornings, but thankfully, he's looked after by my mum at home, which really helps me to relax about it. Work itself is fine ? it's good to go at an adult pace ? but I just don't care about it as much as I used to, somehow.

I'm interested in reading, travel, food, crafts, films.

Do you plan to return/go to work or will you be a full-time mum?

Original poster

pebbles40 · 28/02/2006 16:29

hiya R!

Right I get it!! I have been completely different with my little one....I couldn't wait to get her into a routine! I suppose it made me feel...i think it's a case of whatever works for you isn't it really.....

I bet it was hard going back to work, but you're lucky you have your mum to help out. At the moment I don't really have any plans to go back to work, so yes I'll be a full-time mummy for a while....god help me....hahaha!! I would really like to put my daughter into a nursery 1 or 2 mornings a week, so she can mix with other babies her age as she seems to be getting bored and frustrated lately! Also it would be nice for me to get some 'time-out', but I don't really like the idea of leaving her with strangers - it would be nice to have a recommendation from someone....I'd feel alot happier that way.

OP posts:

Roshni · 28/02/2006 20:27

Hey Pebbles,

yes, definitely, it's whatever works. You've got to feel good about what you are doing. It's good for a child to have confident parenting. And it's good for you!

Being a full-time mum is tough. We went on holiday for three weeks recently and because we went abroad (and my son's world turned upside down because it was all so different), he was extremely clingly, so my husband couldn't do much to help. I got my first taste of full-time motherhood with no-one to help since I went back to work. Jeees! HARD work. Although I miss him when I'm at work, having three days away from him makes it so much easier to be patient and calm with him for the other four. I think it's actually easier having a part-time job than being a full-time mum. But hard to leave him when, like this morning, he was sobbing and clinging on to my neck in a 'please don't go today' way.

Original poster

pebbles40 · 02/03/2006 12:37

Hey R!

Oh don't say that we are going away, but only for a week, and I'm worried that her routine is gonna go out the window! Did you take your son away when he was this young (6 months) and do you have any helpful tips on making life as easy as possible whilst being abroad?? x

OP posts:

Roshni · 03/03/2006 17:01

He was 10 months when we went. The trip itself was really good, it was just the journey that was terrible. The extra clingyness was hard work, but they get like that from time to time even at home, don't they? So it's nothing new. My advice would be don't take too much stuff. We took things that were a pain to lug around and we didn't even use them. Food can be a problem, so if you feed him from ready jars, take lots with you. My son pretty much kept his routine. Where are you off to? Somewhere sunny?

Original poster

pebbles40 · 06/03/2006 12:37

Did you take his buggy with you? Just thought it would be easier to transport her around? I feed her a mixture of jars and home made food, but I would have thought the hotel would wizz something up for her even if we have to pay a bit extra each day......my dad and my sister are coming along also so we'll have babysitters on hand which will be fab as we'll actually be able to spend some much needed quality time together! We're going to a gorgeous spa hotel in Cyprus in June.

Also, don't know if you're interested but I've been talking to some other mums on this site recently and they are arranging a meet up - not sure if it's too far for you or not, but have a look under the following heading in 'meet ups' and see what you think........x

Barnet/Enfield/Watford/St Albans March evening meet-up (44 messages)

OP posts:

Original poster

pebbles40 · 06/03/2006 12:37

Did you take his buggy with you? Just thought it would be easier to transport her around? I feed her a mixture of jars and home made food, but I would have thought the hotel would wizz something up for her even if we have to pay a bit extra each day......my dad and my sister are coming along also so we'll have babysitters on hand which will be fab as we'll actually be able to spend some much needed quality time together! We're going to a gorgeous spa hotel in Cyprus in June.

Also, don't know if you're interested but I've been talking to some other mums on this site recently and they are arranging a meet up - not sure if it's too far for you or not, but have a look under the following heading in 'meet ups' and see what you think........x

Barnet/Enfield/Watford/St Albans March evening meet-up (44 messages)

OP posts:

Original poster

pebbles40 · 06/03/2006 12:37

Did you take his buggy with you? Just thought it would be easier to transport her around? I feed her a mixture of jars and home made food, but I would have thought the hotel would wizz something up for her even if we have to pay a bit extra each day......my dad and my sister are coming along also so we'll have babysitters on hand which will be fab as we'll actually be able to spend some much needed quality time together! We're going to a gorgeous spa hotel in Cyprus in June.

Also, don't know if you're interested but I've been talking to some other mums on this site recently and they are arranging a meet up - not sure if it's too far for you or not, but have a look under the following heading in 'meet ups' and see what you think........x

Barnet/Enfield/Watford/St Albans March evening meet-up (44 messages)

OP posts:

VeniVidiVickiQV · 06/03/2006 12:40

Hey pebbles!

Im in Enfield. Im not a first time mum. I have a DD who'll be 3 in april and a DS who will be 1 in april.

I might be going to the meet up. Not sure yet, its the day before my birthday

Original poster

pebbles40 · 06/03/2006 12:46

Hey V!

Horaah there are other mums in Enfield!!!

I'm not sure if I'm going next Thurs either, but am trying to arrange a coffee meeting if you wanna come along? (check the other thread).........

OP posts:

VeniVidiVickiQV · 06/03/2006 12:52

okay - will check in later...

Roshni · 06/03/2006 13:55

I did take the buggy, but only used it at the airport! But then we went to India, and there were no pavements... I would take it to Cypress. I took a (bloody heavy) travel cot, and he ended up sleeping with us! Have a lovely time!

Will check out the other thread... perhpas I'll join you for your coffee morning.