Please calm my nerves!

[Buttmunchie]

I‘m about to start a masters. Part time, via distance learning.

I‘ve got 2 DC (nearly 9 and 6).

Zero childcare. Literally zero. I do have a DH though, who works Monday- Friday 7am to 6pm.

I work Monday, Tuesday, Thurs and Fri mornings. Also Thurs afternoon.

DC are in school all day every day, apart from
Mon, Weds and Fri afternoons.

So I will have Tuesday afternoon and Wednesday morning alone, plus Saturday and Sunday if DH steps up.

Am I due a nervous breakdown?

Masters requires lots of reading / research and a part time course still requires an average of 20 hours per week. Are your sure you can get DH to step up for the whole weekend if he is working the hours he already does ? And will your DC leave you alone at the weekend ? Hopefully DC has already agreed to step up ? I have recently finished a part time Masters and you do need to be organised and regimented to carve out time, not get distracted and keep on track. Make sure you have your space where you can set up your lap top / papers and notes - so it feels like a workspace. Ideally you should be able to leave everything out so it is easily accessible - do you have office space or will you need to be at the dining room table ? While studying sleep can become a much overrated luxury !

Before you start you need to agree a schedule with DH which the family then sticks to so you know when it’s “your time” and also factor in “his time” It wont work if you have to negotiate every Friday evening what bits of time you can have i.e. DH will take the DC swimming every Saturday morning / Cook Sunday lunch and entertain the DC Sunday PM. Also factor in when assignments are due as you will need more time to get these completed and reviewed. Write it all down on a calendar which is visible to everyone - pin it to the fridge / note board in the kitchen. Make sure you take time to speak to your DC and explain what you are doing and why. They need to understand why this is important to you and how they can help i.e. don’t disturb you

You can do this and enjoy the learning experience but the key is get a schedule agreed with a supportive DH up front which includes responsibility for DC / house chores etc - but remember to factor in some slack to account for the inevitable family drama / illness etc. and time you will spend together as a family. With your DH fully on board it is doable - but be prepared for some friction as this will require support from the whole family and a change in routine. ( Sorry to say it be If DH is in anyway not supportive you are heading towards a nervous breakdown )

Organisation and discipline to keep on track are key - Good luck !

Like pp, dh took dd all day Sat so I could work (PhD). He often took her swimming for example. Schedule and discipline will get you through.

Thank you both so much. I’ll definitely write up a schedule. I do hope DH will be as supportive as I’m imagining. Factoring in DH’s me time is a great call- he really needs that and that will make a difference.

My office in only down the road so I will go there to study. Might have to do some at home but hopefully not much.