Studying as a mature student has really negatively impacted me

[Toastedpickle]

Can anyone else relate to this. I am 40 and am half way through a degree for career change purposes. I’m experienced in the area I want to work in, but don’t have a degree. So studying to get one was the only option.

I honestly think it has made me/is making me depressed. The course is both study and placement based, and I feel so old and embarrassed at being a student. One of the other students told me the other day that her mum was born the year before me. On placement, my supervisors were all younger than me. The degree doesn’t challenge me academically and there have been days in uni when I have felt like a school child, wondering what on earth I’m doing there.

The lack of routine, frustration at not even having started in my desired field and the fact I still have a long way is all utterly draining at times. On top of that, I have had to take silly little part time jobs that I hate to fit around it all.

I don’t know if I can carry on doing this - I have another placement in September and I want to cry thinking about the awkwardness of it all. I would do anything to go back to a normal job. But I guess I’m stuck due to the mountain of a student loan.
sorry for the moan. Just wondering if it’s normal to feel this way.

I understand how you must feel, but I would just put your head down and get on with it. Look on the bright side - you're not feeling intellectually challenged by the course content, so you still have time to do other things. I too would feel a bit of a twit, but actually who cares? It will lead you to where you want to be.

I started retraining at 45 and I was nowhere near the oldest. I wonder if you are feeling some resentment about your experience not being valued.

I’d try and make the most of it. Your experience will be really valuable at the end. maybe there is extra challenging reading you can do?
Most people have to do part time jobs while retraining - I took an 80% pay cut, but it’s been worth it in the long run.

I did a degree as an adult. I recognise what you say about feeling infantalised sometimes.

I did a law degree at the 'normal' age and that was purely academic. However, I did an animal degree as an adult and it was filled with shite like 'design a poster' or 'plan a project' and the requirements to do well were so incredibly basic - as someone who works in a corporate job, if anyone had handed in a project plan at the level this DEGREE was asking for, they'd have lost their job. Just all kinds of things meant to prepare youngsters for the world of work, including placements, but in a degree that was part time and more than 90% of students were adults who had worked for years.

It was totally daft but I just realised these were all hoops the uni and I needed to jump through. To be fair, they were easy hoops (even if I felt like I was paying to be bored stupid during them).

But - eyes on the prize. You are halfway through so you KNOW you can make it through the second half.

Plus, supervisers in the real world can easily be younger than you anyway - so it's not a bad trait to have to accept people as you find them and not judge their worthiness to supervise you just based on their age.

Completely agree with @DisapprovingSpaniel I did a masters in my 50s and some of the modules were joint with the Sport and Nutrition classes so I was studying alongside musclebound and willowy 20 somethings. The only good thing was that most of them never turned up for lectures anyway. Also, I had some bus drivers asking me whether I’d applied for the wrong bus pass because mine said student, not oap 😕

Nursing out of interest?

I sometimes think about going to study guitar at college. I have a music degree but would love to start again on the guitar and do it properly, being taught by someone who really knows their stuff. I imagine I couldn't care LESS what the others would make of that.

I think - suck it up and make the absolute most of it. Yes it may be easy and yes the odd jobs etc but really - you will be soooo glad you did this in five years time.

It's OK to take time out from life. These are your new challenges, coping the best you can with these irritating differences. Think of it in blocks of time - you'll be off all summer right? Then the first of the final three bits of the last year - first, second, then the last but and then you'll have a degree and THEN you can start.

I can relate - I did a degree as a mature student because I thought going to Uni with mediocre A Level grades in the 90's was not the done thing. I wish I had done it then and not been made to feel it wasn't for me. I was completely shocked at the amount of students who don't show up for lectures, can't write or read properly, don't seem to have any respect for the teachers - how on earth do they get onto degree courses? I actually found the degree quite easy and was very concerned at people who kept failing topics and re taking actually working in the area looking after people...while clearly being unable to understand the very basics. It completely put me off what I studied and I now have all of the student debt and no job to show for it despite a 2:1😩

I'd say suck it up, you're taking the necessary step to be where you want to and are willing to put up with a few years pain to get there.

Honestly you are an inspiration, doing something to change your life.

My only other thought is whether it might have been possible to do this as a degree level apprenticeship? We have these and they spend very little time in the classroom and are generally career changers.

id willingly retrain, besides its the brains that count not the age

What did you retrain as @travellingtabbycat?

I just wanted to say, when we had mature students in tutorial groups, we really looked up to them (quietly) and thought they were fascinating because they'd LIVED. I would probably have said something stupid about my other's age too but it would only be from a place of incredulity, since my mum would never have done a degree at that age and juggled jobs and kids or whatever. It wouldn't have been nasty (and I regret it now I know how it made you feel).

Thanks so much for all of the responses and experiences. You are all right of course, I need to just grit my teeth and get through it. Some days though, it can be designing posters or practising speaking to people and I just feel so frustrated as the childishness of it all but I guess I just need to get over it.

Someone mentioned nursing but it’s social work. It’s also frustrating as we are so desperate for social workers and I have so much experience working with people in similar roles, but because no degree I can’t get a job or fast track retrain. Apprenticeships through my LA are like gold dust. Seems like there must be much better ways to pull people up who have experience to qualify as social workers (teachers, nurses etc as well) than this long winded way!

Anyway - thank you. Head down and get on with it!

I have a family member who did that degree in their late 50s, when the regulation came in, having done the job for decades. They found it frustrating too. It will be worth it in the long run.

At my place of work we provide SW placement settings and we always ask for a mature student if possible. Your experience will be valued in your next placement I am sure. Although I supervise students I don't have the degree myself and I often thought of doing it. Keep going you will be a great SW and should have the qualification to go along with your experience.

Keep going @Toastedpickleitll be worth it in the end. I retrained in my 40s too and sometimes felt a bit lonely, the others were nice enough, but I just really missed being with MY peers. For what it’s worth I had placement supervisors during my degree who were delighted to be supervising a proper adult and I built some lovely relationships with them. Sometimes even better than with my classmates because we were like a welcome relief to each other, a break from the 20-somethings haha!

maybe try to enjoy the ease at which you’re progressing and keep thinking about how fast those promotions will come in a couple of years

When I was a teacher i had a friend who was a nurse and we fantasised about being able to swap jobs and just pick up the technical skills, missing out all the essays about working with families or workshops on multidisciplinary team working. Some kind of recognition that there's a core skill set that teaching, nursing and social work all share that means we could probably miss out a year of study (and most of the posters).

I sid a social science (psychology) degree in my early 40s and most of the problems I encountered were social. Academically I sailed through the degree and got a 1st. I was not the only mature student on the course but as a single/childfree I had nothing in common with the others. Yes I was shocked by the number who dont show up for lectures. I attended every one. Some of the cheeky ones asked me for a copy of my notes. They got a sheet on A5 with a mindmap diagram on it. It meant nothing to them and I enjoyed watching their eyes glaze over when they looked at it.

I was very political as an undergrad. I forged relationships with lecturers, got myself co-opted onto committees, showed up at postgrad only events and volunteered for things. Everyone knew who was. I in turn knew where power lay in the department and who to ally myself with. These relationships served me very well when I was looking for postgrad funding and work opportunities.

It’s a shame there aren’t more older students you can share your experience with. On nursing courses we tend to have a good proportion that are around your age so they don’t feel separated.

I know how you feel, OP. Luckily when I did my course, there were a lot of mature students. Just crack on and you’ll be done before you know it. It’s a means to an end, there’s no point moaning about the fact that you could do the job tomorrow (you probably could) because you need the qualification that gets you the registration. Plus every placement teaches you something.
Given how full on SW is, I would try to enjoy the slow pace as you’ll never have that again.
My regret is not talking more time out for reflection when I was a student. I just tried to prove myself and do as much as I could but there’s really no advantage to doing that. If you have spare time you could always look at what will be asked of you during ASYE and get a head start on that, because that’s when it feels super stressful, when you have nearly a full caseload and have to pull a 3,000 word essay out of your hat for your six month review!