Help, need more money and more hours and likely a different job but already feel burnt out and fairly useless.

[Theteenagerera]

I am in my mid 40’s and currently working a 0 hour contract for a charity that offers support to families, I do really enjoy my job, but unfortunately it’s not giving me enough hours and I need to bring in more money.

It may seem to some that I have had quite a charmed life as was a SAHM for many years. My DH is quite high up in the Armed Forces and has spent the most part of the last two decades deployed so it made sense for me to stay at home with our 3 children.

In reality it was years of living away from friends and family with 3 DC in a blur of nappies, packing boxes, registering for GP surgeries school and nurseries/schools and trying to integrate us into a new area to do the whole thing again 18 months later, mostly just trying to be a good mum for our DC but still with interest in re-training in some kind of social work, support, counselling work, however with 3 young children and limited time or funds it just never happened…

Before I knew it the children were at secondary we were in a much more settled living arrangement and DH suggesting I go out and get a job.

Pre-having children, I was a qualified nursery teacher and had started to look at re-training in play therapy but then I fell pregnant.

I am ND and the older I have for the more I have struggled with anxiety, confidence, surroundings, environments and fear of doing or saying the wrong thing. My workplace is wonderfully inclusive and it’s why I’m finding it so hard to leave.

Ideally, my perfect job would now be a counselling or support job that I could do from home, we do have an office which is unused so plenty of space.

I would say my strengths are being an excellent listener, compassionate, working well in a one-to-one and small group environment. I take confidence from familiarity and repetition, I love the mundane, groundhog tasks. 😅 I have excellent communication skills and good written/English skills, I enjoy record/report type work.

My Weaknesses are feeling out of my depth and anxious in a busier, noisier work environment.

I also don’t do well with technology, nothing goes right for me on a laptop! I have dyscalculia and there is something about all the symbols, numbers, different fonts, page/letter sizes just sends my brain in overdrive.

I have basic knowledge of teams/word/zoom but some of the expressions/wording on application forms of how confident would need to be around various programs has made me discount so many potential jobs.

I would say that the pressure to find a job, teamed with what my brain will allow me do is really starting to have an impact on my mental health

Have you considered social work. Just that if you have a degree you can do a fast track like frontline or step up to social work.

and DH suggesting I go out and get a job.

Surely your husband can see it’s not quite as easy as that if you haven’t worked in any skilled role for twenty years? You’re not going to be a competitive applicant for anything better than your current zero hours position.

You need a new qualification. It isn’t clear what level you reached in the past but rather than just pressurising you he should, after all the years you’ve supported his career, be supporting you to identify the best study or training to propel you into the next stage of your life.

You could do a social work apprenticeship?

Oh god I was going to post the opposite do not go into social work!
The office environment would not be a positive space and the nature of the role, which isn't groundhog or mundane isn't a fit with the OPs.

I’d love to do social work, it’s actually to some extent an extension of what I’m already doing don’t think I would be suitable candidate for as a I don’t have a degree, just an HND 3 in early years.

@MsWintertowne ill admit that there has been many a discussion on his flippancy of how easy I should find it to just go and find a job, it’s not even just the employment gap but 15 years not using your brain in that way, mixed in wirh being ND and also crippling anxiety, makes me want to go and crawl under a rock rather than put myself out there but fundamentally he has been carrying the family for a long time and we do need the extra money.

I guess I’m just digging my heels in with what I’m prepared to go and do to make sure I keep myself mentally and emotionally ok.

Might being a teaching assistant be any good? You could look for an early years position.

I just want to say I love your self awareness of your strengths and weaknesses and how you've worded them factually with no judgment. This has actually helped me to see as I'm the same, but judge myself so much for it! So thank you.

Some ideas - primary teaching assistant and/or forest school assistant or leader. Your previous experience and parenting would position you well and I think you'd enjoy it. Could even look for a 1-1 sen support role. I used to support a ND child and it was most rewarding job I ever had (shit pay but at least guaranteed hours.

Prisons/probation service have lots of admin roles that could be good groundhog day roles. Microsoft have lots of free courses if you wanted to upskill in technology stuff.

Peer support coordinator/volunteer coordinator? You can find some good remote jobs if you filter on CharityJob.