New full time job, retraining as counsellor, mum to toddler - Have I lost my marbles?

[WorkingStudentMum]

Looking for words of experience and encouragement really!

So, I’m a married mum to a nearly three year old girl, conceived after five long years of IVF and finally with the help of an egg donor, I’ve been in a career I hate (corporate PR) for 20 years and have wanted to retrain as a counsellor for years and years. I trained as a coach a decade ago, completed a one year intro to counselling course about 8 years ago and then getting married and the IVF nightmare took over and those particular dreams were put aside.

Fast forward to now - I currently work four days over five (early finish at 3.30pm) which is great for nursery pick up at 4pm, but the company I work for is really unstable financially, there’s a lot of pressure to bring in new business and the culture has been quite toxic recently.

After a lot of soul searching and therapy of my own, I decided that I need to follow my dreams and retrain as a therapist - I went through a lengthy and quite gruelling application and interview process and was ecstatic to receive an offer of a place to start their part time three year training in October. I’ve never been so happy to get an offer, I literally cried.

Training isn’t cheap though and I was going to have to find freelance work on top of my current (unstable) job to pay for it.

And now, it’s looking like I may be getting an offer after three interviews for another job (still corporate PR) which would be full time (9-5.30), but only two days a week in the office which is what I do now anyway and my husband WFH on those days. The job is full time so no more official early finishes, but they are flexible around childcare and said they aren’t clock watchers as long as the work gets done. It’s a lot more money salary-wise and a big stable firm, so I wouldn’t have to worry about the firm going bust or finding freelance work to fund my studies/our lives.

The first year of my therapy training is one weekend a month and one weekday evening a month and some coursework (essays) but then in the second and third years I’d need to think about how I find time for supervision, placements etc

And then there’s the guilt about having less time for my daughter, who I fought so hard to have. But then I also want to do something with my life that makes me feel alive and not the soul sucking drudgery I feel now. I’ve wanted to do this for so long. Both jobs are just a means to an end.

Has anyone ever been in a similar situation? A new full time job starting at the same time as part time retraining for an eventual career change, with a toddler in tow? Have I lost my marbles? Will I have to give up sleeping one night a week to fit it all in 😂🫠

My friend just qualified and worked term time 8.30-3.30 with 2 children around 8 and 14. She found the placements the hardest, not getting home until 8, 9 some nights, lots of driving to appointments but definitely worth it. Not sure if you can do some placement hours online/by phone to eliminate travel or maybe when lo is asleep or at nursery etc

Is your partner supportive? Have you had an honest conversation around what life will look like while you do this?

Given the hours involved you might find it difficult to do everything else you want to - to parent, to pull your weight at home, to be a good partner, family member, friend. What will have to go if you don't have time and is it more or less important than your plans? No right answers here but it's helpful to be honest with yourself.

It's hard! I was in a similar position last year. Retrained as a Counsellor/Therapist after 10 years in a similar field - and had to juggle work/child/placement/personal therapy /supervision/uni and assignments as well as wider family life. It burnt me out but I loved my placement and love the work.

I should probably add that it burnt me out BUT that was only on reflection. I very much went through it and didn't stop as I'm used to burn out from social work! I know my tolerance and was nearing a limit but finished for the year now so have a few months rest. Still working full time and in a therapeutic role now anyway - loving it.

Thanks everyone - I really appreciate the reality check! I won’t lie, I do worry about not being able to handle it. Life is already juggle with a job and a toddler, so I’m apprehensive. But, I also know that if I don’t do it, I’ll still be thinking about it, hating my job and regretting it in years to come. I guess I won’t know until I try. I’m hoping my love for my training will get me through, which I know may be naive!

Update as well - I got offered the job so have been debating that all weekend as well. I’ve decided to take it, regardless of what happens with my training, I need to take the stable job for now for me and my family’s sake. And training definitely won’t happen if I lose the job I currently have because the company I work for is so unstable!